Destress Technique

Today, I would love to give you a destress technique that will relieve your stress immediately, anytime, and anywhere.

Hello there, my wonderful reader! How are you? It is my prayer that you are enjoying life.

Some people may be unable to enjoy life right now, and it is likely because of what is going on for them personally. When times are difficult it may be easy to  practice doubt, fear, and worry. When we practice doubt, fear, and worry, we practice stress.

No one wants to be stressed or to practice stress. Unfortunately, some individuals are unknowingly trained up in that way. The good news is, we can practice what we want, into permanence.

Most people want the opposite of being stressed, which is being relaxed. People want calm, confidence, and peace.

There is a relaxation response, and a stress response. Often times the stress response is activated by conditioned, habitual thoughts of fear of the future.

The relaxation response can also be habitual, but if it's not, one can practice it into permanence, and replace the stress reaction.

You have probably guessed that the destress technique I am going to teach you is how to activate and practice the relaxation response.

The relaxation response is powerful. 

The relaxation response is so powerful that it has taught many others, and myself to be in a place of calm, certainty, and confidence in all situations. Could you imagine that?

It is totally possible to live in a place of permanent stress relief by practicing the relaxation response, and that is why I want to teach you this technique today.

The relaxation response is super easy to learn, and can be practiced at anytime, and any where.

Here are the steps to practice immediate stress relief through the relaxation response.

Step one: Inhale slowly through your nose filling your lungs to full capacity.

Step two: As you feel your lungs expand, notice the pressure of your lungs pushing down on your diaphragm (the muscle between your chest and stomach). 

Step three: Allow this feeling of pressure on your diaphragm to be the button that activates the relaxation response, and feel your entire body, and mind prepare to relax.

Step four: Exhale slowly through your mouth and consciously imagine all of the thoughts and emotions of strain, and tension leave your mind and body with the out bound breath.

Step five: Be aware of your mind clearing and your body giving way to gravity into a relaxed state.

Step six: Enable your entire body, and mind to practice being relaxed.

Step seven: Savor the body and mind relaxation for as long as you are able. See if you can prolong the feeling of being calm, confident, safe, and secure for longer periods of time, each time.

Step eight: Repeat steps one through eight.

There you have it! The relaxation response.

Practice makes nearly perfect so practice, practice, and practice some more.

This is easy, and if you want to destress yourself, you will put this at the top of your priority list.

You could practice the response three times a day, or at the top of every hour.

You could practice this exercise after each meal.

Figure out a way to implement this easy destress technique and you will be supreme at permanent stress relief.

If you are really serious about destressing, and creating peace in your body, mind, and soul, I'd practice it every day, and make a commitment to do it as frequently as possible.

This is the way of conditioning.

It is a small price to pay for respite, and serenity.

You can do this, and it will be oh so very beneficial for you, your family, and your future.

Never give up on practicing the calm, confident, safe, secure feelings that you deserve, and desire.

Para ti!

Enjoy...

Love you so much.

Elizabeth 

Stress Test & Free eBook

Hello there my friend...

How are you doing this day?

Ever praying for your comfort and joy...

Have you ever taken my stress test?

I created this stress test to help raise awareness to some stressful habits a person may have.

This is not a diagnosis tool or a psychology test, it is a test I developed many years ago to help identify stressful behavior. 

This survey was not developed via hard research, and the stressful habits presented are not in any particular order.  These are THE STRESSFUL HABITS that have been brought to my attention via survey from the many classes I have taught to relieve stress.

This is for adventure, education, and enjoyment.

So, enjoy...

ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS BY CHOOSING A NUMBER BETWEEN 1 AND 5. (1)NEVER (2) ALMOST NEVER (3) OCCASIONALLY (4) FREQUENTLY (5) ALL THE TIME

1. Do you worry?

2. Do you experience a racing mind?

3. Are you angry moody or irritable?

4. Do you lose your temper or become impatient easily?

5. Do you have trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, or getting essential hours of sleep because you can't stop thinking of things you have to do or because you have too much going on in your life?

6. Do you binge on or are you addicted to a certain activity, food, caffeine, tobacco, alcohol, or any form of pharmaceutical, over the  counter, or illegal drug?

7. Are you in a hurry?

8. Do you set simple goals or continuously tell yourself you are going to do something and don't do it?

9. Do you feel like you are in a constant state of going nowhere?

10. Do you notice that it is important to you or you spend a lot of energy proving you are right, or things should be done the "right way", your way?

11. Do you frequently complain about people, places, and things?

12. Do you get offended easily and/or talk negatively about other people?

13. Are you unable to enjoy yourself even when you are doing something you enjoy?

Add up your results...

If you would like to utilize a truth scale, ask someone, who knows you really well, to take this test on your behalf, and then compare answers.

Okay...

1-13 a very destressed person

14-25 almost always destressed

26-38 more often destressed than stressed

39-52 you need to destress yourself

53- 65 you seriously need to destress yourself

If you chose 5 for any of the questions above, you may want to destress that particular habit.

For example, if you answered a 5 on number 6, you may want to overcome and eliminate the very stressful habit of addiction.

This stress test is part of my first book, "How to Destress Via Stress Test & Stress Relief". If you haven't read it, and would like to, Amazon is promoting the eBook free this Sunday, September 29, 2019.

Grab your free copy by clicking here.

Or

Stay tuned for updated posts on how to destress the stressful habits in the stress test. I've come a long way since I wrote that book in 2013, and I'd like to revisit each stressful habit with what I have learned since.

Wonderful day to you dear one...

Speak soon...

Elizabeth

Mindful Based Stress Reduction

Well Hello!

Mindful-based stress reduction is what I'd like to discuss this day.

How are you doing, dear one?

I hope and pray that you are happy today.

The things that stress the human heart the most, besides devastation, are dissatisfaction with body image, health, relationships, wealth, or lack thereof. But the absolute truth about stress is that it's not one of the categories mentioned above; it's the incessant worry about it. 

Doubt, fear, and worry are fundamental habits of stress.

So, I wanted to give you yet another great way to destress yourself, quiet the mind, find inner peace, and practice it into a permanent habit. I've done many of these silencing the mind posts lately, and this will be the last one for a while. Promise! 

Mindfulness is a way of being fully alert and aware of the present. It takes the mind's racing thoughts into complete presence at the moment we live, which is called the eternal now.

This exercise is simple but not necessarily easy because of the momentum of the practiced habit of a fast-running mind of fear.

This is how it's done...

Throughout the day, as often as possible, consciously follow your breath in and out, feel your heartbeat, and intentionally relax your body. Purposefully pay attention to what you see, what you hear, and what you think.

That's it! The best part about this is that one can bring him/herself out of mind, into the body, and into the present moment. 

The purpose of this exercise is to interrupt the doubt, fear, and worry of any idea, aka stress, and replace it with feelings of calm, confidence, safety, and security.

If you have had stressful beliefs and behaviors for a long time, you have lived with chronic stress. This technique can and will replace that long-term habit if it is persistently practiced into permanence.

If you have had devastation recently, mindfulness can relieve the strain if experienced frequently.

This is especially good for focus. It is challenging to focus when something devastating has happened recently. It's also not easy to concentrate when one is afraid of what may occur in the future, aka as anxiety.

Remember, practice can and will make permanent, just as the practiced stressful habits were created. It may not happen overnight but don't give up, and you will begin to see results.

Practice is how habits come to be. 

Practice is how one becomes an expert. 

This is ninja mind stuff; if you practice it regularly, you'll become a ninja mind. lol

Try it! 

You'll like it!

That's all I got for you!

Short and sweet!

Straight to the meat!

God bless you, dear one!

I have a special prayer in my heart for you that you will have confidence, comfort, joy, and a quiet mind.

I love you!

Speak soon...

Elizabeth Stanfill 

If you love what you read here, you may find my books by clicking, books by Elizabeth Stanfill.

Destressing Insanity

Hello! Hello!

How are you my dear sweet friend?

Praying a special prayer that you are super duper allie ooper, and that you are having tons of fun!

I just wanna discuss insanity for a moment. Actually, my insanity...

When I was a younger me I use to complain, criticize, dramatize, and gossip. 

Yup! I did...

It was crazy because I didn't want people to complain about me or criticize me yet I was complaining about and criticizing others. 

What's even crazier is I did not want drama, and I did not want other people gossiping about me yet I was creating drama, and gossiping about others. 

In other words, I was doing to others what I didn't want others doing to me. I was doing what I did not love. Also, I was bringing myself, and others down because of this behavior.

Now I know that, and I know that those were habits of reaction. So, I changed focus, and I created habits to replace the crazy ones.

Another thing, I don't necessarily want people all up in my business, and so I try my hardest to stay out of other peoples' business. 

I know, with all my heart and soul that my business is between God and me. What I do, say, and think has everything to do with God, and me. Therefore, I try my hardest to behave accordingly.

So... I have changed those crazy habits with much more fun ones. That's right! Matter of fact, I'm still in the process of changing them because I am human, I am imperfect, and I just keep on a practicing. 

And... I'm still crazy, just a different funner kind, ask anybody who knows me.

Are you complaining, criticizing, dramatizing, and gossiping?

These are all very stressful habits because of the focus on things that are unpleasant. The opposites would be appreciating, complimenting, and living in the present moment with confidence, which not only provides relief from stress but also lifts the environment in which one stands. 

Do you believe in the necessity of focusing on the unpleasant? If you do, that is your human right, and it is very human of you. (wink)

Do you also believe that we have a choice on what we focus on?

Whether a person believes we can choose what to focus on or not, we can. Human nature begs to focus on the emotionally negative aspects of this life which provokes fear, aka stress. Spiritual nature begs for focus on the details that will pursue faithfulness and fearlessness, aka unconditional love.

Practiced fear supplies anger, anxiety, and depression. Practiced faith creates calm, confidence, happiness, joy, vitality, and well-being. When we are practicing faithful and fearless focus we are lifting the environment, and it is impossible to bring anyone down, including the self.

Which will you choose? Faith or Fear? Stress or Well-Being?

Just some thoughts I wanted to throw your way...

Have a wonderful day my dear sweet friend.

God bless you...

I love you...

Elizabeth

How to Destress Yourself Within a Minute

Hello...

How are you doing this day?

I pray that you are okay!

I just want to share with you a way that you can Destress Yourself within a minute. 

If you experience negative emotions like anger, anxiety, and/or depression, stress relief may not come within a minute but if you practice this on a regular basis you can, and will discover calmness more regularly, anytime, and anywhere.

Remember practice conditions into permanence...

First, find yourself sitting upright and relaxed in a quiet uninterrupted environment. 

Second, close your eyes and take a slow deep breath in through your nose, filling your lungs to full capacity, like balloons. 

Third, hold your inhalation for three seconds. 

Fourth, exhale slowly through your mouth, imagining yourself releasing all of your tension as you breath out, and intentionally feel your body relax. 

Do this three times. 

Finally, sit for a moment and see if you can feel your heart beat.

When we do this exercise we intentionally relax and take our thoughts, which might be racing due to stress, out of our head and bring our focus into our body. 

This can be done at anytime and anywhere but the most desirable place would be in the quiet privacy of your home when alone. 

Make this a regular practice and you will notice your ability to relieve yourself from stress immediately when needed.

I just wanted to give you a simple way to release strain and tension if needed, especially in light of one of my last posts and trying to persuade you to meditate.

This is a path of practice into safety and security in the present moment when the mind is tricking you into fear.

In other words, practicing the self out of insecurity into confidence, which will not only help you in the moment but, it will help you in your future.

Try it...

You'll like it...

And, you will begin to discover the real relief is within you.

God bless you my friend...

I love you!

Elizabeth

February Fun Outlined Para Ti

Hello there...

How are you doing today friend?

I have a special prayer held tight in my heart: a fun life for you...

Here are the posts from February Fun for you just in case you missed it, and just in case you'd like easy access to exercises that will help destress your life with fun. ~wink~

February Fun

Fun

Powerful You

Dragons

Unconditional Love

Fun Relieves Stress

Destressing You

Destressing With Faith in You

Just for you...

Have a wonderful day my friend, and a wonderful weekend!

God bless you...

I love you, oh yes I do!!!

Elizabeth

Dragons

Well, hello!

How are you doing today? I pray you are alright, and I also pray you are having fun!

Got another fun exercise for you to destress yourself, but first I gotta explain about dragons. Stick with me, please! It will all make sense at the end.

Do you know what a dragon is?

To me, a dragon is a person who is mean. Normally, really, really, really mean. I call the meanest people in the world dragons because they are mean and misunderstood.

Dragons, in the fairytale sense, are very lonely, mean, and misunderstood.  They are misunderstood because they are always alone and being hunted. Who wouldn't be mean if you had no one by your side and people were trying to kill you all the time?

Dragons, aka really mean people, have had stressful events, and/or are having a devastating experience, which can, and does, create beliefs they are all alone in the world and most individuals are against them. These are often people who are angry at God, or don't believe in God, because they may not know about the love God has for them, their power, and potential spiritual expansion.

In my younger years when I was a stressed mess, if someone was mean to me, I would return the rude, unkindness, usually multiplied. In other words, I would turn into a dragon.

I was a dragon!

Now, in my calm, relaxed state of striving to be connected to, and cooperative with God, I understand that when people are rude it's because they are suffering over very stressful things that I have no idea about. In order for me to understand misery I must attempt to see through the eyes of God's understanding of compassion and unconditional love.

It is my belief that God sees us as toddlers in our spiritual growth.

Have you ever seen that video when the toddler is in his feetsies pajamas pouring juice, or something, into two glasses, and then he spills a glass? He gets paper towels, cleans his mess, and then goes to fill up the glass he spilled. He says, "I won't pil it." He then spills it and says, "Ope, I pilt it." As he goes to deliver the glasses of juice, where ever he's going, he slips and falls in his original spill.

That video is so cute! That video, in my humble opinion, is how God sees us.

God sees us through loving eyes because he is love! Unconditional love! God sees us as a holy child, and nothing we do will change His love for us. He is always there for us, we just don't know it until we turn to Him.

I want to see others as God sees us! I want to see through God's loving eyes! I want to understand that we all have misery, and some of us are overwhelmed by that misery. I don't want to make anyone's misery worse by returning unkindness for unkindness.

I don't want to be a dragon to those who are dragons. I want to understand with God's compassion and love.

I want to be a dragon healer! 

Ha! 

So, your new mission for this coming week, should you choose to accept it is to see people, whom you believe are being mean, aka dragons, through loving eyes. See them as toddlers in feetsies, talking like a child, and spilling juice. When we see toddlers, we don't get angry at them for spilling juice.

The goal is to see dragons (people we think are being mean) as toddlers, and think with thoughts of compassion and love for them. It will be fun, and it will be funny.

Trust me!

See mean people as little children with messy hair who just woke up out of bed. Create that visual.

We cannot, and it is not our business to, control how others behave in order to make us happy. 

We can control how we see things that happen to us in this world, and that is our authority, power, and responsibility! 

Allow yourself to participate in this exercise, just like the last one, you will see the silliness in it, and it will make you laugh out loud.

Also, continue last weeks fun exercise along with this one.

Love it! And see toddlers! He he he...

This is for you! 

Do this for you and watch yourself destress a little bit more.

Don't forget to write in your journal so you have something fun, and funny to look back on especially if you are ever feeling down and out anytime in the future.

No complaints!

No criticism!

Just favorites!

Just fun!

Just funny!

You got this!

YOU GOT THE AUTHORITY AND POWER!

Praying a special prayer that you will do this for you! 

Praying a special prayer that you will see, if you don't already see, your authority and power over your life, and your value and worth as a spiritual being...

That's it!

Except, I LOVE YOU!!!

Of course! *INSERT ME WINKING AT YOU HERE*  

Speak soon...

Elizabeth

PS HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY AGAPE!!!

Is There a Science to Behavior?

Hey there! 

How are you doing? 

I'm praying you are okay! 

I'm doing pretty good. 

I'll tell you a secret... I'm in Texas! I love Texas and Texas loves me!

I guess it's not a secret anymore. No matter... I just love Texas, I'd be living here, but then I'd be too far from my family.

Today, I'd like to write about the science of human behavior and that whatever we practice, we can and will become really good at, and will become a habit.

This is very true when it comes to beliefs and behaviors.

The most important thing to consider about this science is whether it can help or hurt us.

For example, if you have a habit of worrying about the future, money, or a family member, you will be really good at worrying. Worry is basically stress.

Did you know that stress is the number one cause of every illness?

The great news is that we can change any habit we want. With God, all things are possible. I know this is true. I know it deep down in my heart and soul because I have witnessed it in my life and with others.

So the questions are... What kind of habits do you have? Are your habits helping you or hurting you?

We all have bad habits and good habits. Some of us have more bad habits than good, and some have more good than bad.

Our business is our own habits, not anyone else's. Our business is what we do here in this human experience. Our business is between God and ourselves.

Are there stressful habits you'd like to change using the Science of Behavior?

Negative emotions are stressful habits. Anger, anxiety, depression, doubt, fear, irritability, moodiness, and worry are all negative emotions that provoke the stress response, which wreaks havoc in the body. That's what causes illnesses.

If you'd like to change a stressful habit using the Science of Behavior, you have to pick its opposite and practice it until you are really, really, really good at it.

If you get angry, practice patience.

If you get anxious, replace it with relaxation, and practice it into permanence.

If you got depression, replace it with appreciation, and practice it into permanence.

Sounds simple, doesn't it? But not easy. 

The only thing that can hinder anyone in this endeavor of changing unhealthy habits is the belief one can't, the unwillingness to try, and the pattern that exists because of its momentum of it. That driving force is the power of any habit, and it can be used for our benefit just as it is being used as a hurdle.

So! Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is...

Pick an unhealthy habit, replace it with a healthy one, and practice it into permanence. Do this for at least a week, and if it works, make it permanent. 

Then! Watch your stress lift just a little bit more!

Watch yourself destress!

You can do this! 

You got the power!

That's it...

Except, I love you, my friend! I do! I do!

God bless...

Take Care...

Elizabeth Stanfill 

If you love what you read here, you may find my books by clicking, books by Elizabeth Stanfill.

Is There Permanent Stress Relief?

Hey there! How are you doing today? I'm praying you are alright.

Have you made any New Year Resolutions? Mine are the same as my everyday wish, learn, listen, and love more. It's just a practice I want to make permanent and perfect.

I get so much out of life when I learn, listen, and love.

It is my humble opinion that we are spiritual beings having a human experience, and the purpose of life is for us to expand spiritually. Expanding spiritually connects us to God, and guides us to our individual, specific, purpose in life.

There are three stages of our human life, according to my theory, and they are:

Innocence: pure loving beings wanting nothing more than to eat, learn, listen, love, play, and sleep.

Adolescence: in a place of competition with the world complaining, conditional loving, controlling, criticizing, dramatizing, and gossiping, which leads to insecurity (another word for stress because stress is provoked by fear, and insecurity is feeling unsafe/fearful).

Enlightenment: connected to and cooperating with God, faithful and fearless, knowing your value and worth, residing in a place of unconditional love, and understanding all things are for our spiritual expansion.

I'm confident that many of you may disagree with me but I'll expand more as 2019 moves along. If you are patient with me you just may develop a wisdom for permanent stress relief. Not just permanent stress relief but a pure calm, confidence, and certainty for your life. What do you think about that?

What is important to you? Have you decided what's important and thought about practicing "that" into permanence, which will become perfected sooner than later. 

The true science to human behavior is practice makes habits, and habitual behavior can, and will make you nearly perfect at that practice.

Have you been practicing anger, anxiety, depression, or even worry? If so you may be perfect at it.

If you want to relieve any of these habits you could practice appreciation, calmness, fun, or trust. 

It's all about the focus and practice. I wrote about focus on my last post, Merry Christmas! Check it out!

I just wanted to write about some things you may want to consider in making your New Year Resolutions.

Happy New Year my friend! 

Happy Abundant Prosperous New Year!

God bless...

Take care...

Elizabeth

Destress Yourself with Bibliotherapy

Destress with Bibliotherapy is what I would like to discuss this day.

Hello there! How are you? Are you ready for your weekend? I'm gonna venture to guess a yes on that one! I know I am.

Have you ever heard of the term bibliotherapy? If you haven't it literally means seeking therapy through books. I do a lot of bibliotherapy in my life because I read every day, and night, and it is therapeutic.

Right now, on Amazon dot com you can access one of my eBooks on stress for free, I think until Monday. Get the How to Destress Yourself Book by clicking here.

I have written two very short books on stress to help people via bibliotherapy. Both books are super duper short because if you are stressed, reading a big book on stress relief just might stress you out. ~wink, wink~

Limited Time Free eBook Here

Over the next week you can purchase the Paperbacks for a minimal cost also. I do believe one will be marked down 50% and the other 30%. 

The books are...

EMS Stress: EMT & Paramedic Basic Stress Management and 

How to Destress Via Stress Test & Stress Relief

Just click on the title above to access them.

They're super easy, super short reads to help with basic stress management.

Just wanted to share the freebie and discount with you, the reader of my blog, because I appreciate you so much.

Have a wonderful weekend!

Love ya...

Elizabeth Stanfill

Self-Love

Hello my friend! How are you? I really want to know! Are you alright? It is my prayer, in my heart that you are.

Self-love is what I would like to ramble about this day. 

Did you read my last post... Love is For Giving? If you did you know that my frequent
contemplation's are about love, which is the ultimate antidote to stress.

Before I ramble on about self-love, let me begin with self-hate because I do believe it will define it all in a better way.

Back in the day, when I first began blogging I had time to work with people one on one. This was not therapy but more of a one session education on stress relief, aka destressing yourself.

There was this gentleman who sought me out because he was absolutely miserable. We spoke on the phone and he went on and on about how horrible his life was. He was very critical of himself and others, and he was very discouraged about his future.

The obstacle to his happiness was self-hate. He had no faith, hope, or kindness towards himself or others. We can only give what we have. He was giving criticism and discouragement to himself, and others because that is all he had.

The discovery of his focus on criticism and discouragement opened his mind to the doorway of self-love. This literally changed his life. This literally can change anybody's life.

What happened was, he became so negative because of a devastation he had experienced in recent months. Anybody can, and will experience a devastation and quite possibly, unknowingly create a doom and gloom attitude, which is equivalent to self-hate.

Self-hate is an unkindness to the self and is displayed through being unkind to others. Therefore, self-love is shown through kindness to others, and ultimately to the self.

The remedy to this unpleasantness is really a choice on what one focuses on. Basically, it is a person's choosing the mood of the mind. If your predominant mood is negative, chances are you carry self-hate, and if your mood is predominantly positive, you carry self-love.

It's all about our power to select.

We can either choose to be positive or negative, kinder or unkind, happy or unhappy, and joyful or miserable. These are the choices for deciding if we want to live in a space of self-love or self-hate.

This individual I spoke of at the beginning of this post was, and still is a very powerful man. But now, he is even more powerful because he has literally learned to love himself by being kinder through his thoughts, feelings, words, and actions.

It takes practice to change your focus, especially if you have experienced a devastation.

Now, this gentleman is healed, and I believe this with all my heart and soul. He has been healed through self-love. It certainly didn't happen over night, it took some practice but, this practice, when remembered, can heal anyone no matter what one experiences.

This is what I really want to say...

If you are in a place of criticizing and discouraging others, it just means that the mood of your mind is doom and gloom, which is very stressful and a bit on the hateful side I might add (okay a lot on the hateful side, I was just trying to be nice).

This is what I really want you to hear...

Life can be so very lovely, full of love, and full of self-love if you but make a choice to focus on complimenting, encouraging, and being kinder to others, as well as yourself. Not only will this help destress yourself, you will increase your happiness, energy, joy, and vitality for life.

Your thoughts really do matter, and you have an option to choose those thoughts.

That's my ramble on self-love!

I love you... You know I do...

Speak soon...

Elizabeth

Love is For Giving...

Hello there...

How are you? I pray that you are doing super duper allie ooper this day.

Oh muh goodness, it's been a while since I have blogged but it is always on my mind because of my amazing readers whom I love so very much. Forgive me for my absence, please?!?

My life is always busy, but I love to blog because of the interaction with my readers, and in my heart I truly am a writer.

Within my racing mind I seem to find myself contemplating, and wanting to write about love, a lot. Matter of fact, I am quite confident I truly know what unconditional love is.  Seriously!

Through out my 51 years of living, I do believe that I have had glimpses of love, but now I have nothing but love.

When I was a bit younger, and people spoke of unconditional love, I heard, "blah, blah, blah." lol

Now, I know, without a doubt what love is.

At this point you are probably wondering why dear young hearted Elizabeth is rambling about love.

Well, love is the ultimate antidote to stress.  Love can, and will de-stress your life right here, right now.

Love is the optimum emotion and it feels like bliss.

What I have come to believe about love is, you can give it effortlessly if you have it. Therefore, if you have love for yourself, you can easily give love to others. But, if you do not have love for yourself, you are unable to give it so easily without conditions.

In my younger years I had close to zero love for myself. The first half of my adult life I was a very angry person with anxiety, depression, and debt. My moods were uncontrolled and therefore, I was a very mean person to others and myself. Oh, I was nice too but I could be really mean.

Now, after a lot of practice, I'm starting to believe, I do not have it in me to be mean. 

When someone, say like in customer service, is unkind to me, I say a little prayer for them in my heart, and I will ask them if they are alright?

In the past I would be offended that they were not nice, and then I would go on and on about how I thought they should be nice.

The thing is, I desire to give people the benefit of the doubt in my mind because I want people to give me the benefit of the doubt in their mind.

I love myself enough to think thoughts that make me feel better, and that includes thinking the better thought about the other person.

It may sound weird to you, or you may get it when I say, I have no opinion on the way another person should be, I just want to love them because I love myself enough to do that.

Ponder this for a moment... If I am offended by something someone does, I feel like poop! In contrast, if I choose to give the other person the benefit of the doubt, and understand some people are dealing with difficulties, I feel so much better.

Destressing yourself is about behaving in ways that allow us to feel better!

Besides, it is not our job, nor our purpose, in life to control the way another person acts.

But, it truly is part of our purpose to govern our own thoughts, and it takes practice. The first step to choosing to think better thoughts about another, or a situation, is loving yourself enough to do it.

When we don't require people to be a certain way, in our mind, we live the "un" in unconditional love.

See! I told you I know what unconditional love is, ~wink, wink~

What I am trying to say is, we may relieve the stress in our life if we love ourselves enough to think better thoughts that make us feel good.

When we have love for the self, we have love for others, and love is for giving.

I love love, I love life, I love my life, and I love you.

For much of my youth, negative emotions were my ball and chain. These negative emotions kept me in the bitter hell of suicidal ideations. It is safe to say that now because it's been years since I have felt that way.

Within the span of twenty-five years I have talked thousands of people out of anxiety attacks, probably hundreds out of suicide, and sometimes as many as two in a week.

Participation in the Emergency Field has given me the experience of knowing personally, about a dozen of individuals who have successfully committed suicide, and three of them were my dear friends, whom I dearly love.

Because of my experiences, I do what I do, and I have discovered, through helping others and myself, suicide can be prevented. In addition, negative emotions are not necessary, and much of crisis and despair may be removed by finding love for the self.

This is what I really want you to hear...

If you are having a hard time in life because of stress, I earnestly want to convince you to be kinder to yourself. Think kinder thoughts about yourself and give others the benefit of the doubt so that you may feel better feelings.

Furthermore my friend, sweeter thoughts like having faith the best outcome will happen rather than fear that the worst thing will come to pass will, in fact, make you feel better.

Your thoughts really do matter!

I love you...

You know I do...

Speak soon..

Elizabeth

STRESSFUL EMOTIONAL HABITS

Hey, hey! How are you doing today? Hope and pray you are alright.

Gonna talk about stressful, emotional habits today.

When we think of habits, we think of food, cigarettes, alcohol, or drugs. We can also add caffeine, shopping, and sex to that list. These are apparent habits that we are well aware of, and we know the consequences if we continue.

Another habit that may be evaluated is our emotions. When we are presented with a stressful situation, it may be a habit to feel fear or worry.

Some people may even react to stressful situations with anger, frustration, or irritability. These emotions are the cause of our stress. For example, when we work on the car or the house and the job gets complicated, we may get angry, frustrated, or irritable. Sound familiar? This habit of reacting to certain situations is the source of our stress.

Another example may be when we have something big that breaks down, like a car, washer or dryer, air conditioner, or water heater, and we don't have the money to pay for it, we may feel fear or worry. That is another habit we may have of reacting to circumstances that are the culprit of our stress.

When we become aware of the habitual reactions of our emotions, we can take responsibility and change these habits for the better. If we get angry or irritable often, we may have created patterns of anger and irritability, which can be changed through education.

Awareness is the number one key. If we are aware of these adverse emotional reactions, we can take responsibility and change these emotions to the opposite.

We can change anger, frustration, or irritability to patience and tolerance.

We can change doubt, fear, and worry to confidence, security, and hope.

It is not necessary to get angry, frustrated, or irritable. It is not required to have doubt, fear, or worry. We can take control of our reactions.

Sounds simple but is not necessarily easy. The hard part is the 20, 30, 40, or more years of the tendency to react this way.

What can we do to destress our negative habits of reacting?

The first key is awareness. Like an addict, we cannot get help unless we think we need help.

The next step is to talk to a professional or read a book on anger or stress. Bibliotherapy is one of the best ways to change.

Another great way of being aware of our emotions is being aware of our thoughts because it is the thoughts we are having that causes our feelings.

And finally, never-ending goal setting of changing our habits. If we want to change behavior that we have had for years, it may take some time and hard work. Never-ending goal setting is the way to move forward. If we don't move forward, we are stagnant; if we are fixed, our problems get bigger, and if our problems get bigger, that causes an increase in our stress.

If you get angry, frustrated, or irritable frequently, or even once in a while, you are creating great stress on yourself mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Make it a goal to stop negative emotions and replace them with positive ones like calmness, happiness, satisfaction, and cheerfulness.

You can discover your stressful habits by destressing yourself. When you destress yourself, you learn to change your stressful thoughts, feelings, actions, and attitudes to more successful thoughts, feelings, actions, and attitudes, which means changing stressful habits into successful practices.

Have a super duper week, and don't forget to have fun and be playful.


Elizabeth Stanfill If you love what you read here, you may find my books by clicking, books by Elizabeth Stanfill.

GIVING THANKS!

Hey everyone!  How are you this Holiday Season?  I hope you are doing FANTABULOUS!

Did you miss me?  I missed you!  It's been nearly four weeks since I've posted.  This is a very busy time of year for me but I love it!

In the Spirit of Thanks Giving, I wanted to say a little about giving thanks.  Many people gather around a table of food, on the fourth Thursday of November, and reflect on what they are thankful for.  It is my belief that we should do that everyday, all day long, and not just on Thanksgiving.

Many years ago, when I was a young Emergency Medical Technician (EMT), I responded on a 911 call to a 6 year-old pedestrian who was hit by a car while he was riding his bike to school.  This was just about the time my son, who was 8, started riding his bike to school.  For those of you who are in the Emergency or Medical field, you understand the significance of the association of a traumatic incident with similarities to your own life.

Any who...  This young boy did not survive.  Closely after this incident, I had a dream that my son fell down the stairs and died.  This particular incident and dream helped me realize how lucky I am to have my son in my life and therefore, from that time on, I rarely spoke, or speak, to him with anger, or with a tone of voice as if I don't like him, because I love him and I am grateful for him.

That particular incident and dream helped me to realize what life is all about.  Life is about happiness, joy, having fun, and being playful.

What I am trying to say is, we shouldn't wait for Thanksgiving, or a traumatic incident, to come around for us to be grateful for what we have. 

Be grateful everyday and show it by the way you think and act.  Think about all the things that you are grateful for and project gratitude towards others.

There are many people I work with who are anxious or sad and one of the biggest reasons is because they have not learned the attitude of gratitude, and that is exactly what I help them with.  The attitude of gratitude is nothing but a successful habit of focusing on what is right and good in your life, and can replace the unhealthy, and stressful habit, of focusing on what you don't have or how life could be better.

For all of you who focus on thinking life should be better than it is just think of what would happen, or how you would really feel, if you lost your ability to see, or hear, or walk, or speak.   Even yet, if you lost your home, or your spouse, or your child, or your job. 

I don't mean to be unkind, and I know of many people who have lost at least one of the things I just mentioned, but I am trying to motivate you, YES YOU!  to give thanks everyday, all day long, so that you may live with happiness, energy, and vitality, no matter what your circumstances are.

It is not our circumstances that stress us out, it is how we think about them that does.

If you can cultivate the habit of seeing all that is great in your life, meaning having the attitude of gratitude, all day, every day, you could and would be the happiest person no matter what your circumstances are.

And that's all I gotta say bout that!

I am grateful for you...

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

Elizabeth

HOW DO WE CREATE FAITH IN OURSELVES?

Excellent question!  How do we create faith in ourselves?  The answer?  Destress Yourself!

Faith is the confident belief or trust in something.  I just blurted that meaning out of my head, lol.  It is true, isn't it?  Faith is the confident belief or trust in something...  I like that.

If you have a lot of stress, stress at work, stress at home, stress with finances, stress in your relationships, or just difficulty coping with stress, chances are you do not have faith.

When I say faith, I mean faith in yourself, faith that things will be okay, or faith that you can handle your stress.

What is stress?  Stress is the consequences of our thoughts of doubt, fear, and worry.  Therefore, the opposite of stress is our consequences from our thoughts of faith or the confident belief or trust in something.

Let me just clarify that I am, in a general sense, talking about negative, everyday stress, which is distress.  Although, this can apply to eustress, as well, which is positive stress.  But, I am not speaking about cumulative stress (burnout), or critical (incident) stress, at this time.  With that said, if you have stress, chances are you have doubt, fear, and worry.

Stress at work is caused by thoughts of doubt, fear, and worry about work.  Stress at home is caused by doubt, fear, worry about home.  Stress with finances is caused by doubt, fear, and worry about finances.  Stress in relationships is caused by doubt, fear, and worry about relationships.  GET THE PICTURE???

Difficulty coping with stress is caused by a habit of doubt, fear, and worry about outcomes.  We can eliminate this habit by creating a habit of focusing on solutions, making these solutions our goals, and focusing on obtaining these goals.

How do we create faith in ourselves?

We create faith in ourselves by discovering what we want out of life, what our purpose is, and living what we want and living our purpose.  For example, I want to enjoy life (this has many meanings to me but I will save it for another post) and my purpose is to help create happiness, energy, and vitality by teaching people to find joy in their lives (destress yourself). 

Living with what we want is not a destination, it is a journey.  Therefore, we are constantly moving towards what we want by living our purpose.  We can create faith in ourselves by finding out what we want, finding out our purpose, and setting goals to constantly obtain this.

If you are living in the constant state of going nowhere, doing the same ole thing, living the same ole life, then you are not creating faith in yourself.  But, by moving forward, in life, setting your goals, having a vision, and living your purpose, faith in yourself will come naturally because of the great accomplishments you will make.

Right now, I know a lot of people who are out of work and they are not doing anything about it.  It is sad really.  If I had a lot of time on my hands, I would be working on the things I want out of life and if I didn't know what I wanted, I would spend all of my time searching.  It doesn't take money, it only takes the internet.  Google it!

Take a moment and look back one year ago, three years ago, or even five years ago.  Are you doing the same ole thing or are you moving forward in life? 

Discover what you want out of life, move towards it, and live it!  That, my friend is how we create faith!

Discover your purpose, move towards it, and live it!  That will create faith!

Set goals towards what you want, using your purpose, and keep moving forward, everyday!  That will create faith!

You can do it!  You got the power to be, do, have anything you want, you just have to think you can!  That my friend, is faith.

Have a great weekend!!!

Until next post...  Don't forget to have fun and be playful!

Elizabeth

WHY IN THE HECK DON'T WE DESTRESS???

Well, hello there, my friend!  How are you?  I hope that you are absolutely perfect today.

 

I have another question for you!  My question is, why in the heck don't we de-stress?

 

I know the question is broad and general.  Well, why don't certain people with stress learn how to handle stress better?  Is it because they don't want to?  Or is it because they don't know how to?  Or is it because they love being miserable?  Or is it because they do not believe they can?

 

The answer......................is........................YES!  

 

Yes to all of the above.

 

People don't learn to manage stress because they don't want to, don't know how to, love being miserable, or believe they cannot.

 

Oh, I cannot wait to get the emails on this one, he he he.

 

Let's start with why people don't want to manage their stress.  I believe people want to manage stress but do not want to do the work.  It is so easy not to do anything.  Call it laziness, lack of motivation, or inability to act.  Whatever you call it, it all boils down to not wanting it bad enough.  If you want 'it,' meaning a better life, happiness, energy, vitality, and joy, you will do something to manage your stress.

 

What could you do?  You could read a book on stress, Google stress management, talk to your Bishop or clergy, or seek professional help.  You could eat for energy, exercise vigorously, learn to have faith in yourself and others, and learn to relax to know how anytime and anywhere.

 

That takes care of wanting to and how to; now, let's talk about loving misery.  People will say, I don't love misery or being miserable, but I would argue, "If you don't do anything about it, you must love it."  Harsh, I know, but some people are so engulfed in drama and misery every day that they must love it.  People always come to me asking for help, and the people who always have an excuse as to why they can't improve this or that, I am convinced that they love misery.  Maybe it brings them attention or a purpose in life, I don't know, but they refuse to live without it.

 

I'll give you an example.  This individual came to me because of the stress in the business that they own.  This person was overwhelmed because employees were flaky, wouldn't hit deadlines, would call in sick or late, and would do whatever they wanted.  We discussed boundaries; this business owner had every excuse for why each boundary would not work.  We are discussing boundaries like disciplinary action if employees do not adhere to company policy.  We also discussed learning not to get upset when employees display this behavior, but there were more excuses.  This business owner suffered because of the unwillingness to do anything about the distress.

 

This person has to love suffering!

 

Lastly, I suggest that people do not manage their stress because they believe they cannot.  This is a consequence of a lack of self-confidence.  People have a fear of poverty, old age, criticism, loss of love, ill health, or death, and all of these fears cause low self-confidence.  Any fear causes low self-confidence.  

 

So, what can we do?  We can discover our fear and turn it into faith.  Yes, yes, yes, a lot easier said than done.  But you have a choice; you can choose to have fear, or you can choose to create faith, it's just a thought.

 

My friend, if you want to de-stress yourself and haven't taken the steps yet, maybe you need to evaluate why.  Is it that you don't want to?  Or is it that you don't know how?  Or is it that you love being unhappy?  Or is it that you do not believe you can?

 

Once you have evaluated your reason, work on that as a goal.  If you want happiness, energy, vitality, and joy in your life, then learn to want to de-stress yourself, learn how to de-stress yourself, learn how to love happiness instead of misfortune, or learn how you can believe you can.

 

IF YOU ARE UNHAPPY, SOMETHING MUST BE DONE!

 

If you are not living with happiness, energy, joy, and vitality, something must be done. You can learn to be happy by de-stressing yourself, and I can show you how for free. The only thing you gotta do is read my blog and apply the practices.

 

If you want to live your dream life, let me help you. Learn to de-stress yourself by me for free, and experience permanent stress relief. There are many de-stressing exercises throughout my blog, and you can apply them throughout your week or month. Practice can make permanent stress relief.

 

Praying for your success, and thank you for visiting my blog.

 

Remember to have fun and be playful.

 

Elizabeth Stanfill