STRESSFUL EMOTIONAL HABITS

Hey, hey! How are you doing today? Hope and pray you are alright.

Gonna talk about stressful, emotional habits today.

When we think of habits, we think of food, cigarettes, alcohol, or drugs. We can also add caffeine, shopping, and sex to that list. These are apparent habits that we are well aware of, and we know the consequences if we continue.

Another habit that may be evaluated is our emotions. When we are presented with a stressful situation, it may be a habit to feel fear or worry.

Some people may even react to stressful situations with anger, frustration, or irritability. These emotions are the cause of our stress. For example, when we work on the car or the house and the job gets complicated, we may get angry, frustrated, or irritable. Sound familiar? This habit of reacting to certain situations is the source of our stress.

Another example may be when we have something big that breaks down, like a car, washer or dryer, air conditioner, or water heater, and we don't have the money to pay for it, we may feel fear or worry. That is another habit we may have of reacting to circumstances that are the culprit of our stress.

When we become aware of the habitual reactions of our emotions, we can take responsibility and change these habits for the better. If we get angry or irritable often, we may have created patterns of anger and irritability, which can be changed through education.

Awareness is the number one key. If we are aware of these adverse emotional reactions, we can take responsibility and change these emotions to the opposite.

We can change anger, frustration, or irritability to patience and tolerance.

We can change doubt, fear, and worry to confidence, security, and hope.

It is not necessary to get angry, frustrated, or irritable. It is not required to have doubt, fear, or worry. We can take control of our reactions.

Sounds simple but is not necessarily easy. The hard part is the 20, 30, 40, or more years of the tendency to react this way.

What can we do to destress our negative habits of reacting?

The first key is awareness. Like an addict, we cannot get help unless we think we need help.

The next step is to talk to a professional or read a book on anger or stress. Bibliotherapy is one of the best ways to change.

Another great way of being aware of our emotions is being aware of our thoughts because it is the thoughts we are having that causes our feelings.

And finally, never-ending goal setting of changing our habits. If we want to change behavior that we have had for years, it may take some time and hard work. Never-ending goal setting is the way to move forward. If we don't move forward, we are stagnant; if we are fixed, our problems get bigger, and if our problems get bigger, that causes an increase in our stress.

If you get angry, frustrated, or irritable frequently, or even once in a while, you are creating great stress on yourself mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Make it a goal to stop negative emotions and replace them with positive ones like calmness, happiness, satisfaction, and cheerfulness.

You can discover your stressful habits by destressing yourself. When you destress yourself, you learn to change your stressful thoughts, feelings, actions, and attitudes to more successful thoughts, feelings, actions, and attitudes, which means changing stressful habits into successful practices.

Have a super duper week, and don't forget to have fun and be playful.


Elizabeth Stanfill If you love what you read here, you may find my books by clicking, books by Elizabeth Stanfill.

WHAT IS THE MOST STRESSFUL HABIT?

Hello there...

Gotta question for you!  What do you think is the most stressful habit?  When we say the word habit, often times we think of drinking, smoking, doing drugs, or eating too much.  Although these are stressful habits, not one of them is the most stressful habit.

So, what do you think the most stressful habit is?  Before I answer, I just would like to say that this is stress according to her Majesty Elizabeth, heh heh...

The most stressful habit is thoughts of doubt, fear, and worry.  Yuppers, that's it!

There are many different stressful situations like death, dying, divorce, or dismemberment, and yet the situation is not the stress but how we think about the situation that creates the stress. 

So why do I say that thoughts of doubt, fear, and worry is the most stressful habit?  I say it because the way we think is habitual.  If we habitually think sad thoughts, we have depression.  If we habitually worry about anything, we have anxiety.  If we habitually focus on what we don't have and how horrible our life is instead of focusing on what is great in our lives, we have despair. 

Do you have the most stressful habit?  If you do, you can turn it around, it's just a thought you know! 

I know, I know, habits are hard to break and they are hard to even know that we are doing the habit.  So, what do you do?

You take that habit, of doubt, fear, and worry, and you change it into confidence, faith, and hope. 

How do you do that?  The best way is to just recognize that you do it.  Recognize that you are worrying.  There is no reason to worry.  If you have a situation that is less than the 'D'S' (death, dying, divorce, or dismemberment) life is pretty good, wouldn't you say? 

Start there and look at how good life is for you and then remind yourself, when you do have doubt, fear, and worry, that it's just a thought, and then change the thought into confidence, faith, and hope.

No matter what is going on for you, you either have control over what is happening or you don't.  There is no reason to worry if you have control over a situation and there is no reason to worry if you don't have control.  Just accept and allow.  Accept that life is not, and never will be, without 'situations'.  That's all life is, 'situations'.  And the more you accept that the better your life will be.

Have a great day and don't forget to have fun and be playful.


Elizabeth

OF COURSE IT'S STRESS!!!

If something is wrong with your physical body, there is a high probability that you are stressed.  Stress is the number one cause of EVERY illness.  Stress lowers the immune system.

What causes stress?  Most people think that stressful events cause our stress but actually, what causes stress is how we react to and think about the event.


For example, death is a very stressful event, wouldn't you say?  What causes the level of stress, in this situation, really depends on how a person reacts to and thinks about death.  If one person thinks that there is no life, NOTHING, after death and he or she will never see their deceased loved one again, their stress level will be significantly high.  If another person thinks that there is life after death and they will see their deceased loved one again, after their own death, their stress level will be significantly lower than the first individual.  We must also take into account how well the person deals with stress.

I have recently seen this particular reaction.  Recently, two friends of mine have experienced the death of a close loved one.  The first person, we will call him Fort (I don't know anyone named Fort, he he he), lost his spouse, and the second person, we will call him Hub (I don't know anyone named Hub either, ha ha ha), lost his long-time significant other (never married in other words).  Fort has a strong faith in the plan of salvation, believes in eternal marriage, and handles stress very well.  Hub, on the other hand, has faith in God, but not a very strong faith, and is horrible at handling stress. 

Immediately during and after each funeral service Fort was strong and happy, celebrating his deceased spouse's life and Hub was very miserable, and displaying illnesses like headaches and abdominal problems.  There is a lot more to these stories than what I have shared but the foundation of it all is this; Fort has faith and handles stress well therefore, his stress was very low.  Hub has not so strong faith and handles stress not so well therefore, his stress level is high and he sustained illnesses.

The purpose of this post is to show you that 1) your level of stress is not caused by your situation 2) your level of stress is caused by how you think about your situation (FAITH) and how you react to your situation and 3)  stress does, and will, cause severe illnesses if you do not learn how to destress yourself. 

If you are dealing with a physical illness, I know that if you learn how to destress yourself (which just means to think and react differently than you do to stressful situations) you can overcome your illness, I know this because I have seen it happen time and time again.  Many people have come to me with headaches, stomach problems, muscle aches, anxiousness, sadness, neck pain, back pain, and many many other problems, and once they learned to destress they overcame them!  On the same note, many people never learn to overcome their stressful habits of doubt, fear, and worry and they continue to sustain their illnesses and they get worse.

YOU GOT THE POWER!  YOU CAN LEARN TO DESTRESS YOURSELF AND CREATE GREAT HEALTH, HAPPINESS, ENERGY, AND VITALITY!  I AM A WITNESS TO THAT!

Until the next post, don't forget to have fun and be playful...

Elizabeth 

GIVING THANKS!

Hey everyone!  How are you this Holiday Season?  I hope you are doing FANTABULOUS!

Did you miss me?  I missed you!  It's been nearly four weeks since I've posted.  This is a very busy time of year for me but I love it!

In the Spirit of Thanks Giving, I wanted to say a little about giving thanks.  Many people gather around a table of food, on the fourth Thursday of November, and reflect on what they are thankful for.  It is my belief that we should do that everyday, all day long, and not just on Thanksgiving.

Many years ago, when I was a young Emergency Medical Technician (EMT), I responded on a 911 call to a 6 year-old pedestrian who was hit by a car while he was riding his bike to school.  This was just about the time my son, who was 8, started riding his bike to school.  For those of you who are in the Emergency or Medical field, you understand the significance of the association of a traumatic incident with similarities to your own life.

Any who...  This young boy did not survive.  Closely after this incident, I had a dream that my son fell down the stairs and died.  This particular incident and dream helped me realize how lucky I am to have my son in my life and therefore, from that time on, I rarely spoke, or speak, to him with anger, or with a tone of voice as if I don't like him, because I love him and I am grateful for him.

That particular incident and dream helped me to realize what life is all about.  Life is about happiness, joy, having fun, and being playful.

What I am trying to say is, we shouldn't wait for Thanksgiving, or a traumatic incident, to come around for us to be grateful for what we have. 

Be grateful everyday and show it by the way you think and act.  Think about all the things that you are grateful for and project gratitude towards others.

There are many people I work with who are anxious or sad and one of the biggest reasons is because they have not learned the attitude of gratitude, and that is exactly what I help them with.  The attitude of gratitude is nothing but a successful habit of focusing on what is right and good in your life, and can replace the unhealthy, and stressful habit, of focusing on what you don't have or how life could be better.

For all of you who focus on thinking life should be better than it is just think of what would happen, or how you would really feel, if you lost your ability to see, or hear, or walk, or speak.   Even yet, if you lost your home, or your spouse, or your child, or your job. 

I don't mean to be unkind, and I know of many people who have lost at least one of the things I just mentioned, but I am trying to motivate you, YES YOU!  to give thanks everyday, all day long, so that you may live with happiness, energy, and vitality, no matter what your circumstances are.

It is not our circumstances that stress us out, it is how we think about them that does.

If you can cultivate the habit of seeing all that is great in your life, meaning having the attitude of gratitude, all day, every day, you could and would be the happiest person no matter what your circumstances are.

And that's all I gotta say bout that!

I am grateful for you...

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

Elizabeth

How Can Parents Destress?

Parents can have high-stress levels, especially when they have a child with special needs or a diagnosis. Parents can also have high-stress levels by filling their schedule to the point that there is not enough time in the day to do all that is required of them. Another stressor for parents is having super duper high expectations for themselves and their children.

With all the stress that parents deal with, asking how they can destress is a valid question.

The number one way parents can destress is through prevention. Preventing stress is a tall order; it just takes a little pro-action.

Stress prevention is preparing yourself for what is to come. So, how does one prepare?

We can prepare by taking care of ourselves. We can take care of ourselves emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually.

How do we take care of ourselves emotionally? We learn how to be happy. Sounds silly, I know, but many people, especially parents, have the habit of anger or irritation over the most minor things. 

One of the best ways to learn to be happy is to focus on all that you love and all that is great in your life. A nasty habit people have learned from their parents is concentrating on the negative. Children do a thousand things correctly, all day long, and if they do one or two things wrong, it is focused on. For example, if a child gets, let's say, 3 A's and 3 C's on their report card, the parent may focus on the C's and how they can make the C's, A's. What should be done to help the child empower themselves and develop the habit of focusing on the good is that parents should magnify the A's. In other words, celebrate the A's, even if the child has C's or F's.

Parents should compliment them at least one hundred times if children do a thousand things right all day. Praising a child just a couple times a day would make that child very confident and happy. A secure and comfortable child makes a happy parent. Pretty cool, eh?

How do we take care of ourselves mentally? We think good thoughts. Have you ever heard the term auto-pilot? Well, many people have their minds on auto-pilot and what that does is it allows us to think randomly. When we think randomly, we may think about what we don't have and how we are not what we want to be, which is very human. 

What kind of good thoughts can we think? We can think of all of the blessings we have in our lives. 

If I were to tell you a story about a woman who lost all four of her children, one at a time, you would think how lucky you are to have all of your children. Guess what? It is not necessary to hear a sad story of a woman who lost her children tragically to know how lucky we are to be able to hug and kiss our kids every day. In other words, know your blessings. 

How can we take care of ourselves physically? Eating right, getting plenty of rest, and exercising are how we take care of ourselves physically. This small but essential list will help us create energy, and it takes energy to manage stress.

How do we take care of ourselves spiritually? We fill ourselves with God's love and love for others. This can be done every day. Going to church really helps to refill us spiritually too. If I miss going to church on just one Sunday, I feel it.

So, how can parents destress? Here is your list of stress prevention, in short.

Take care of yourself emotionally by learning to be happy all the time. TOTALLY POSSIBLE!

Take care of yourself mentally by thinking good thoughts all the time. TOTALLY POSSIBLE!

Take care of yourself physically by eating right, exercising, and getting plenty of rest. TOTALLY POSSIBLE!

Take care of yourself spiritually by filling yourself with the love of God and loving others. TOTALLY POSSIBLE!

I believe this because I live it and know it is TOTALLY POSSIBLE!

You can do it! You have the power. All you have to do is think you can.

Have a great week, and don't forget to have fun and be playful.

Love you lots ;0)

BIG HUGS...

Elizabeth Stanfill 

If you love what you read here, you may find my books by clicking, books by Elizabeth Stanfill.

WHY IN THE HECK DON'T WE DESTRESS???

Well, hello there, my friend!  How are you?  I hope that you are absolutely perfect today.

 

I have another question for you!  My question is, why in the heck don't we de-stress?

 

I know the question is broad and general.  Well, why don't certain people with stress learn how to handle stress better?  Is it because they don't want to?  Or is it because they don't know how to?  Or is it because they love being miserable?  Or is it because they do not believe they can?

 

The answer......................is........................YES!  

 

Yes to all of the above.

 

People don't learn to manage stress because they don't want to, don't know how to, love being miserable, or believe they cannot.

 

Oh, I cannot wait to get the emails on this one, he he he.

 

Let's start with why people don't want to manage their stress.  I believe people want to manage stress but do not want to do the work.  It is so easy not to do anything.  Call it laziness, lack of motivation, or inability to act.  Whatever you call it, it all boils down to not wanting it bad enough.  If you want 'it,' meaning a better life, happiness, energy, vitality, and joy, you will do something to manage your stress.

 

What could you do?  You could read a book on stress, Google stress management, talk to your Bishop or clergy, or seek professional help.  You could eat for energy, exercise vigorously, learn to have faith in yourself and others, and learn to relax to know how anytime and anywhere.

 

That takes care of wanting to and how to; now, let's talk about loving misery.  People will say, I don't love misery or being miserable, but I would argue, "If you don't do anything about it, you must love it."  Harsh, I know, but some people are so engulfed in drama and misery every day that they must love it.  People always come to me asking for help, and the people who always have an excuse as to why they can't improve this or that, I am convinced that they love misery.  Maybe it brings them attention or a purpose in life, I don't know, but they refuse to live without it.

 

I'll give you an example.  This individual came to me because of the stress in the business that they own.  This person was overwhelmed because employees were flaky, wouldn't hit deadlines, would call in sick or late, and would do whatever they wanted.  We discussed boundaries; this business owner had every excuse for why each boundary would not work.  We are discussing boundaries like disciplinary action if employees do not adhere to company policy.  We also discussed learning not to get upset when employees display this behavior, but there were more excuses.  This business owner suffered because of the unwillingness to do anything about the distress.

 

This person has to love suffering!

 

Lastly, I suggest that people do not manage their stress because they believe they cannot.  This is a consequence of a lack of self-confidence.  People have a fear of poverty, old age, criticism, loss of love, ill health, or death, and all of these fears cause low self-confidence.  Any fear causes low self-confidence.  

 

So, what can we do?  We can discover our fear and turn it into faith.  Yes, yes, yes, a lot easier said than done.  But you have a choice; you can choose to have fear, or you can choose to create faith, it's just a thought.

 

My friend, if you want to de-stress yourself and haven't taken the steps yet, maybe you need to evaluate why.  Is it that you don't want to?  Or is it that you don't know how?  Or is it that you love being unhappy?  Or is it that you do not believe you can?

 

Once you have evaluated your reason, work on that as a goal.  If you want happiness, energy, vitality, and joy in your life, then learn to want to de-stress yourself, learn how to de-stress yourself, learn how to love happiness instead of misfortune, or learn how you can believe you can.

 

IF YOU ARE UNHAPPY, SOMETHING MUST BE DONE!

 

If you are not living with happiness, energy, joy, and vitality, something must be done. You can learn to be happy by de-stressing yourself, and I can show you how for free. The only thing you gotta do is read my blog and apply the practices.

 

If you want to live your dream life, let me help you. Learn to de-stress yourself by me for free, and experience permanent stress relief. There are many de-stressing exercises throughout my blog, and you can apply them throughout your week or month. Practice can make permanent stress relief.

 

Praying for your success, and thank you for visiting my blog.

 

Remember to have fun and be playful.

 

Elizabeth Stanfill

Gotta Have Faith Faith Faith...

Hello there my friend!  How are you this fine day?  I hope you are having the best day ever!

Got a couple questions for you! 

Do you believe in yourself?

Do you believe you can accomplish your goals?

Well???  Do you???  Do you have faith in yourself?

A stressful habit we may have, at times, is lack of faith in ourselves.  This is a stressful habit because we worry about if we will be able to accomplish what we set out to achieve.  This worry causes stress.

You can believe that you can obtain any goal you set your heart and mind to.  Whether you believe it or not is just a thought, and we have free agency to choose our thoughts.

When I help individuals overcome serious stress, the majority of the stress is caused because of the thoughts that we have about the future.

I know a man who is very successful.  He is successful in that he makes over $250,000 a year, he has a great relationship with his wife and child, and he has all the luxuries that most people dream about.  His wife sent him to me because his stress at work was getting out of hand and intruding on his personal life.  After talking to him for about an hour, I spent three hours with him, we discovered that his stress was coming from a belief that he would not be able to sustain his business and his income. 


As we talked more, we discovered that there was no evidence to support that he would not be able to continue to be financially successful.  Matter of fact, all the evidence pointed to him always having clients waiting for his service.  What it all boiled down to was the belief that he would not achieve and lack of faith in himself.  This lack of faith was generated through a habit of his thought process, a belief that he could not obtain his goals.

My friend has the power to obtain anything he sets his heart on.  We all have this power!  I may not know you but I know the power within you.  You can achieve all that you want.  How do I know this?  I know this because you are successful.  If you have made it this far in life (no matter how far that is), you are successful.  Look at all the things you have accomplished thus far.  Look at the relationships you have created, look at the jobs/careers you have or had, and look at all your successes so far.

You, my friend, are capable of doing anything you set your heart and mind to, all you have to do is set your heart and mind to it.

If you are having a hard time with having faith in yourself, then do this exercise.

List all of your accomplishments and mile stones in your life.  Include elementary school, Jr. high school, high school, sports, band, chorus, church, arts, relationships, vacations, careers, purchases, and anything else you can think of.  After you make this list, look back at these times and see how you did it.  Chances are you will see that you had ambition, desire, and drive.  I guarantee if you make this list and ponder these accomplishments they will remind you how great you really are and how great you continue to be.

Sometimes, as we get older, we stop setting goals, and then we become stagnant.  This may be happening to you and stagnation may increase doubt in yourself.

Remember all the goals you have set and accomplished so far in your life and ponder them.  This will increase your faith in yourself.

Detress yourself by having faith in yourself and that you can accomplish your goals.  When you do this you will discover what you can create in your life.

When you destress yourself, you change your thoughts, feelings, and actions, and attitude.  You change your thoughts, feelings, actions and attitude from stressful to successful.

IF YOU ARE UNHAPPY, SOMETHING MUST BE DONE!

If you are not living with happiness, energy, joy, and vitality, something must be done.  You can learn to be happy by destressing yourself and I can show you how, for free.

Subscribe to this blog, right there, at the top of the left column.  Enter your email and receive an email every time I post.

If you would like to live the life you dream of, let me help you.  Learn to destress yourself, by me, for free, and learn what permanent stress relief truly is.

Thank you for visiting my blog.

Until next post...don't forget to have fun and be playful.

Elizabeth

Destress Your Day!

Well, hello there my friend!!!  How are you this wonderful day?  I hope you are super duper!  ;-)

I hope you are not too busy!

Life can be very busy.  We can be in a hurry, starting with the moment we wake up.

A very stressful habit we may have is getting up and then rushing to go to or get to whatever it is we have for the day.  A successful practice, the opposite of a stressful habit, may be waking up with an attitude of gratitude, instead of an attitude of rush.

We, my friend, can destress ourselves by creating a habit of waking up grateful.  Rather than waking up, and jumping up, we can wake up, take a deep breath, and think of how grateful we are for things in our life.

Do you love your life? If you love your life, ignore any of my advice because, if you love your life, there is no reason to destress yourself.  

I love my life! I am exhilarated and excited about every day.

Every morning, I wake up, take a deep breath, and recognize that I love my life.  I love my bed, my sheets, my pillows, my room, my home, my town (well it's more like a village which is smaller than a town, lol), my family, my friends, my business, and what I do, every day.

The reason I do this is that appreciation is the truth, and if I am not appreciating, I am taking all of my benefits and blessings for granted.

I know people who are extremely grateful and have abundant lives and I know people who have everything who blame, complain, and criticize, and they are miserable and unhealthy.

Appreciation does wonderful things.  It creates thoughts and feelings that make lives joyful!

What a wonderful way to start the day.  It is my belief that we should always start our day off on the right foot.  We can start the day off by getting up on the right side of the bed.

We are totally capable of starting our day off with intention versus starting our day off on autopilot.

My friend, let's take responsibility for our lives by taking responsibility for our days.  Let's begin our day with intention and wake up grateful every day.

There are so many things we can be grateful for.  We can be grateful for the little things like our bed, our sheets, and our pillows.  We can be grateful for the bigger things like the air that we breathe, the legs we walk on, the eyes that we see with, the nose that we smell with, the fingers that we touch, the mind that we think with, and the heart that we love with.

We can be grateful for the things like the faces that we get to kiss, the people that we get to love, and the people who love us.

I am so very grateful for you, this blog, the internet, and all the good things in this world.

There are so many great things in this world!

I am grateful to help thousands of people destress themselves because when you destress yourself you change your thoughts, feelings, actions, and attitudes of stressful habits to successful practices.

If you are unhappy, something must be done.  If you are not living life with happiness, joy, energy, and vitality then you could do something about it, if you want to.

Appreciation is the truth and this reality can be anyone's choice, first thing in the morning to destress one's day.

God bless you, my dear reader... Take good care...

Thank you for visiting my blog and until the next post...don't forget to have fun and be playful.

Elizabeth Stanfill

Advanced Stress Management

Hey there!!!  How are you today?  I hope that you are doing absolutely perfect.

I thought I would talk a little about Advanced Stress Management today.  There are many things we can do that fall under the category of Basic Stress Management. We know that we can eat right, exercise, get plenty of rest, and eliminate addictive habits like caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, and drugs.

These types of behaviors will create energy and it takes energy to manage stress.

So what do we know about Advanced Stress Management?

Advanced Stress Management is evolving our stressful habits into successful practices by evolving the mind.

In order to evolve our mind we must take responsibility for our thoughts, feelings, actions, and attitude.

Frequently we live our lives while our thoughts are on autopilot. When our mind is on autopilot we are not necessarily thinking but reacting from our habits.

We get up in the morning, without intention, get ready for the day, go to work or school, get home, watch TV, go to bed, and then we do it all over again.

In order to evolve our mind we must remove ourselves and our thoughts from autopilot and take responsibility for our thoughts, feelings, actions, and attitude by living with intention.

We can start our day with intention, live our day with intention, and end our day with intention.

How do we live with intention? One way is we can take our worries and turn them into faith.

For example, we may be worried about not having enough money. When we worry about not having enough money we may feel doubt and fear about our situation. When we feel doubt and fear we start to make decisions based on this doubt and fear. Some decisions may be to cut back on our expenses and luxuries.

When we evolve our mind we take responsibility for our thoughts, become aware of our worry, and then focus on a what we want. We focus on a solution, move towards that solution, and that will create faith.

When we are worried about not having enough money, the opposite would be having more than enough money. This goal of having more than enough money is our intention.

We should then wake up in the morning with intention, asking ourselves, "how can I make more money?" We should go through our day thinking, "What can I do today, right now to make more money?" And then we can go to sleep with intention by thinking about what we would like to do to make more money.

When we think like this we feel desire and make decisions based on the feelings of desire. Some decisions may be to start a business or look for a better job or career.

This intentional behavior is taking responsibility for our thoughts, feelings, actions, and attitude.

We take responsibility for our thoughts by taking them off autopilot and the habit of worry, and focus them on goals.

We take responsibility for our feelings by removing the doubt and fear and replacing it with intention, expectation, and hope.

We take responsibility for our actions because we take action towards our goals versus taking action in the direction of our troubles. This behavior creates faith, the opposite of worry.

Finally, we take responsibility for our attitude by having faith rather than fear.

Advanced Stress Management is truly evolving the mind by taking responsibility for our thoughts, feelings, actions, and attitude. These successful habits create desire, faith, and confidence by becoming aware of and eliminating thoughts of doubt, fear, and worry.

If you are a worrier evolving your mind might take some serious dedication. But, when we become accountable for our thoughts, feelings, actions, and attitude, we truly become experts at managing our stress.

If you are having a hard time and are unhappy something must be done.

Thank you for visiting my blog.

I hope this is helpful.

Have a great day and until next post...

Don't forget to have fun and be playful!

Elizabeth

HOW I DESTRESS MYSELF

 Hey!!!  Hi!!!  How are you this wonderful day?

Just want you to know that I am so grateful for you and I appreciate all you do!!!

There is a question that has been handed to me over and over via email and that is, "Elizabeth, what do YOU do to destress yourself?"

Well, I try my hardest to practice everything I preach, and every morning I do specific things for my stress prevention.

Every morning I wake up, the first thing I do, when I get out of bed, is get on my knees and pray.  I pray with gratitude, I pray for forgiveness, and I pray for blessings upon those who are in need.  The gratitude helps me remember all the wonderful things I am blessed with, the forgiveness helps me remember the weaknesses that I need to improve on, and the blessings for others are something that is very important to me.

After my morning prayer, I do four things to help destress and prevent stress in my life and they are clean, exercise (yoga), meditate, and read my scriptures.

These are my morning habits, every morning, and they help me prevent stress by starting the day right and feeling good.

The cleaning helps me keep my house decent.  My house is not immaculate but, I am not embarrassed to invite guests in when they pop by.  When I have a dirty house, I do not feel good about myself. 

Our lives are busy and sometimes a clean house is not a priority, I understand that.  But for me, what joy it brings to have a decent home because my home is my Heaven on earth. 

After I clean, I do yoga, which has been a part of my life for about nine to ten years.  Although I use to attend classes, I now know enough to do a routine of poses that stretch nearly every part of my body.  This practice helps me feel 25 years young.  People my age (which is 45 btw), or younger, are always complaining about their aches and pains and yoga is a great cure.

After my yoga, I meditate.  Meditation is absolutely the most important thing we can do for our minds.  When we practice meditation, we quiet our racing thoughts and find joy in the moment, no matter how stressed we are. 

Just about every person, who comes to me about their stress, or other related problems, I encourage them to meditate.  Unfortunately, this is the hardest thing to get people to do.

Finally, the last thing I do is read my scriptures.  This is a spiritual practice that keeps me and my faith alive.  All of the other things I do before I read my scriptures, I do for at least 15 minutes but, I read my scriptures, usually, for 20 to 30 minutes a day.  I want to be close to Heavenly Father and I love having the spirit with me as much as possible.

Now, I understand some of you may say, all of this sounds a bit silly and why would I want to start my day with so many things?  I ask you, what is the alternative?  Getting up, getting ready, and going to work, school, or where ever you have to go? 

Doing all of these things helps me create and start my day with focus and intention.  Yes, I love to live my life with intention.  I intend on having a healthy and clean home, body, mind, and spirit. 

Just getting up and going lets us run our lives on auto-pilot and remain in the constant state of going nowhere. 

The goal is to find things that will help us feel good.  When we create habits that help us feel good about ourselves and life, we are much better at handling stress that comes our way.  Healthy habits replace stressful ones and when we have habits they become a part of our blueprint for our life.

There you have it!  The things I do, every day, that destress me.  Every day, I take care of the most important things to me, my home, my body, my mind, and my spirit.  All of these things keep me emotionally stable and it helps me help others. 

Have a wonderful week!

Until the next post, don't forget to have fun and be playful.

Elizabeth Stanfill

Destress Yourself With Solution Focused Thinking

 

Greetings, my friend!  I hope you are having a great day!

Are you stressed?

One of the reasons we become so stressed and overwhelmed is that we worry about a particular problem or situation, become obsessed with it, and are unable to think of anything else.

There are many reasons we do this; instead of asking why, we can evolve our thinking and become solution-focused. To become solution-focused, we must identify the best resolution and make it a goal.

When we figure out an answer and create a goal, we can replace our incessant worry with solution-focused behavior.

Here are three easy steps to creating a goal.

1. Decide on a solution to your problem, in other words, figure out the best remedy to your current dilemma.

2. Write the solution down as a goal.

3. Focus on this goal diligently and effortlessly by replacing your obsession with worry with an obsession for this goal.

One of the greatest things that we can do for ourselves when we become overwhelmed and stressed out is to focus on what we want. By focusing on our desire, we create a habit of solution-focused thinking rather than worrying. And this, my friend, is truly de-stressing yourself.

 

The science of habit is that practice makes permanent. 

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to figure out what you want and turn it into your purpose. Keep practicing this habit into permanence.

Until next post, don't forget to have fun and be playful.

 

I love you, 

 

Elizabeth

Seriously Stressful Habits

Stress is a peculiar thing, and I see it everywhere. I see it everywhere because I have been studying it for years. Sometimes I wish I could just say to people, "don't you know that what you are doing is causing you stress?" But I don't say that because it is not that easy. Stress is very complex. Astonishingly complex.

I have taught stress management to thousands of people, and in the formal teaching environment, I always issue a survey at the end of the class. The information in this survey has provided me with about a dozen different stressful habits that people have. I would even venture to say that these stressful habits could be classified as some of the uppermost stressful habits that people experience.

I bet you would like to know what these habits are. Well, I will tell you what they are. But, be advised that these habits are in no specific order of importance because I have not determined that just yet. 

Here are some seriously stressful habits

Living life without specific goals

Having an apathetic attitude

Being stubborn and unteachable

Having a racing mind

Worrying

Moodiness

Focusing on faults, yours as well as others

Low self-esteem, lack of faith in self and others

Getting offended frequently and easily

Lack of focus on goals- lack of focus

Believing in lousy luck and thinking life is against you.

Being too serious about life

There you have it, Elizabeth's list of stressful habits.

Look at it and just notice if you have any of these habits. Yes, they are habits.

Until the next post, don't forget to have fun and be playful!

Elizabeth Stanfill 

If you love what you read here, you may find my books by clicking, books by Elizabeth Stanfill.

A Very Stressful Habit

Greetings my friend...Happy Monday ;-)

I hope you had a wonderful Weekend.

Today, I want to talk about a very stressful habit.

A very stressful habit is not paying attention to and creating our thoughts. Often times, we allow our thoughts to run on autopilot. When our thoughts are on autopilot we may think about the worst thing that could happen, in any situation, and that can cause us stress, rather than focusing on what we want. When we focus on what we want we are more focused, organized, and productive.

So, living our lives with our mind on autopilot can be a stressful habit, and paying attention to and creating our thoughts is a successful practice.

Practice paying attention to and creating your thoughts.

When we pay attention to our thoughts we can notice the mood of our mind. Our mood may be doubt in ourselves, fear about the future, or worry about outcomes.

When we create our thoughts we can think about our goals and what we want, we can think about having faith in ourselves and others, we can think about faith in the future and confidence in our outcomes.

We have a choice! We can allow our minds to run on autopilot and let our stress run our lives or we can pay attention to and create our thoughts and build confidence, certainty, and faith.

Decide what you want! Always think about what you want and move towards that!

The goal is to get better and better, at life, as we age, and that includes getting better at what we think about.

The goal is to get better and better, at life, as we age, and that includes getting better at what we think about.

If you would like help at creating and paying attention to your thoughts please check out my 'HOW TO DESTRESS YOURSELF AUDIO'
Thank you for all of the emails.

I am so very grateful for you!!!

Have a wonderful week!

Until next week, don't forget to have fun and be playful!
Please email me if you have any questions, I would love to hear from you.

If you have not, please add me as a friend on facebook, Elizabeth M. Stanfill.

Elizabeth Stanfill
destressyourself.com
destressyourself.blogspot.com
661-877-7800
elizabeth@destressyourself.com

Gratitude

Hello!!!

I hope you are having the best day ever. 

The reason so many people are stressed out, anxious, depressed, or angry is because of what they focus on.  So many people focus on what they don't have instead of what they do have.  So many people compare themselves to others and it makes them feel not so good about themselves and life.

I feel very happy and grateful everyday of my life because I try to focus on what is good. 

I am grateful for my son, the most handsomest, most intelligent, most fun person in the world.

I am grateful for my parents who are the most loving people in the world.

I am grateful for my home, my brothers, their wives, and their children.

I am grateful for my many many friends all over the world.

I am grateful for the fun I have each and every day.

Sure, there are lots of things that I can point out that are wrong about the people and things on my list, that I am grateful for, but I try not to because then it would make me not so happy as I am.

Today, my friend, choose gratitude!  Choose to focus on the things you are grateful for!  Choose to wake up grateful every morning, remind yourself through out the day, and go to sleep grateful and watch yourself become an expert at destressing yourself.

Have a super duper day!!!  Don't forget to have fun and be playful!!!

Until next post...

Elizabeth 

How To Destress Yourself; The First Step Cont...

From the last post, How To Destress Yourself; The First Step, you should have looked at the stressful habits, or characteristic, and determined which ones you are sustaining.  When you discover which stressful trait you are maintaining then you have begun the awareness, which is the first step to destress yourself.

So, now that you know your stressful habits what do you do with them.

Well, I will tell you.  You must learn to eliminate your stressful characteristic and replace it with the successful practice, which is the opposite behavior.

STRESSFUL HABIT VS. SUCCESSFUL PRACTICE (AKA OPPOSITE BEHAVIORS)

Angry vs Peaceful

Irritable vs Easy Going

Frustrated vs Composed

Sad vs Happy

Anxious vs Relaxed

Uptight vs Calm

Drinking vs Sober

Smoking vs Nonsmoker

Over Eating vs Eating for Energy

Reacting to situations with doubt, fear, and worry vs having confidence, faith, and hope

Being closed minded (unteachable) vs being open minded (teachable)

Being apathetic and indifferent about others and self vs being loving and caring towards others and self

Having a racing mind vs having a quiet mind

Having very negative thoughts vs having very positive thoughts

Experiencing negative emotions vs experiencing positive emotions

Being very critical vs being very complimentary

Mastering doubt vs mastering faith in life, others, and self

Getting offended easily vs being more understanding towards people's imperfections

Not intentionally setting goals vs Never Ending Goal Setting

Looking at what is wrong vs looking at what is right

Too serious about life vs having fun and being playful

Accepting illness vs eliminating illness

The awareness is knowing your stressful habits, discovering the opposite, successful behavior, and setting the goal to eliminate the bad and replace it with the good.

This is the first step to destress yourself.

I hope that this is helpful.

Have a great day and don't forget to have fun and be playful.

Elizabeth

How To Destress Yourself; The First Step

The very first step to Destress Yourself is creating awareness.

The most stressed out people I know (and believe me when I say I know some seriously stressed out people. I am not trying to be unkind, it's just the nature of my business) are the one's who say, "I am not stressed." 

These individuals, even though they say that they are not stressed, are always either angry, irritable, frustrated, sad, anxious, uptight, drinking, smoking, eating, and especially unhappy (to just name a few).   

Besides the moods mentioned above, these individuals have several things in common but the number one thing they have in common is the lack of awareness.

Some other very mutual characteristics that they display are:

They live their life with habitual stressful habits of reacting to situations with doubt, fear, and worry.

They are very closed minded (in other words, they know everything so they are unwilling to learn anything new or listen and learn about their weaknesses so that they may improve their lives).

They are very apathetic and indifferent about others and themselves.

They have a racing mind.

They have very negative thoughts.

They experience very negative emotions.

They are very critical of life, others, and themselves.

They are masters of doubt in life, with others, and with themselves (which means they have no faith in life, others, or themselves).

They get offended easily.

They do not intentionally plan goals.

Everything always goes wrong (in their eyes).

And they are too serious about life.

Oh ya, and I guarantee they have at least one illness (stress is the number one cause of every illness).

How do I know all of this?  Well, I have taught, and teach, thousands of people to destress and these are the most common traits that have been derived through a survey I have (and still do) administered.

So, back to the first step to destress yourself.  If you would like to destress yourself, in other words create happiness, energy, vitality, and true joy in your life, you must become aware of what is causing your stress. 

You, my friend, are causing your stress due to the reactions, that are frequently habitual, to your situations.  Your habits of reacting are causing your unhappiness.  And if you disagree with me then you can remain in your unawareness (aka ignorance). 

Shew, that was harsh.  It is harsh and it is true.  The truth hurts!

Look at the characteristics above and just notice if you have any of these behaviors.  If you do, especially if you have more than a few, you have just created awareness and that is the first step to destressing yourself. 

How can you find the solution to the problem if you do not know the problem?  Now that you know the problem, we can work on a solution, together.

Take the first step and create some awareness as to what is causing your stress so that you may destress yourself.

Have a great day and don't forget to have fun and be playful.

Elizabeth