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| MY SOMETIMES MONDAY VIEW WHILE I WRITE! |
Are You Weary And Worried?
Got a prayer for you: if you are having a hard time in life right now or feeling stuck, I pray that you may read the words I’ve written with an open mind. Maybe you will agree with me or disagree; either way, I pray you will consider these words to see if they are true for you.
My prayer is that you will have the courage, strength, and trust to seek your truth because courage, strength, and trust are the truth taught by God, and worry is the lie we are taught by the world, which weakens our souls.
Worrying is common in our human existence, and we all experience it. It's normal to feel stressed sometimes. If an individual is prone to habitual worry, it can cause emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual chaos and fatigue. Faith is essential to our spirituality, and spirituality may be the missing link to success for those under high stress. When we have confidence, we feel good and know we will be okay.
The word "faith" appears in the New Testament over 230 times. Faith is the opposite of fear, and worry creates fear. It is my humble opinion, formed over twenty-five years of education, evidence, and experience in de-stressing our heroes in uniform and the general population, that our strength as spiritual and human beings comes from our trust in God, which gives us confidence in life, love, others, and ourselves. This certainty gives health to the navel, marrow to the bones, and power to a sound mind.
When we worry, we imagine the worst possible outcomes, which makes us feel distressed. Furthermore, we experience mild, moderate, or severe anxiety.
Panic triggers the fight-or-flight response, also known as the stress response, which is helpful in acute life-saving situations but extremely harmful on a chronic, day-to-day basis. Fight-or-flight raises blood pressure, shifts blood flow, and releases toxic hormonal reactions in the body. Many of our body systems then shut down, especially the digestive, healing, and immune systems. Stress, my friend, is the number one cause of every emotional, mental, and physical illness because of the survival instincts of the body. Certainly, one can see that a stressful personality can lead to illness.
There was a time when I’d get at least a dozen emails, and I'd speak to at least half a dozen people a day who were experiencing stress, mostly worry, and this worry is often a habitual way of thinking. The remedy for this habit is to cultivate calm, confidence, and faith.
You will notice, or maybe you won’t, that some people fear, while others have faith. Do you tend to doubt, or do you have peace? If you are insecure, the best thing you can do is overcome it. The challenge in overcoming insecurities is believing that you can.
A successful life comes from focusing on the solution and desired result, not the dreadful possible outcome. So, we have a choice: focus on the desired or on the unwanted; either one can become a permanent habit. You may be thinking that you have to be fearful in some circumstances, or that you are not going to ignore the situation, or that you are not going to suppress your emotions. We have a choice in the habits we adopt. We can replace apprehension with confidence, and this is not about ignoring situations or suppressing emotions, but rather about acknowledging the ability and desire to shift from clinging to the habit of catastrophizing to cultivating trust.
So how does one change the habit of worry? The best way to change a habit is to consistently and deliberately change focus. The best way to transform attention is first to become aware, then be reminded. We must remind ourselves of what we want if we have worries. A great help in changing doubt to certainty is learning to remember, through constant reminding, "With God, all things are possible." ~Matthew 19:26, Holy Bible, KJV
A reminder may seem silly, but it is just another way of affirming emotional and mental discipline. However, mantras may not be enough to ensure thoughts of a favorable outcome rather than a disturbing one. What I mean is that when we are doubtful, we play out in our minds the worst possible outcome, and the habit of worst may be so ingrained that a declaration may not be enough to change it.
For example, if you are having a hard time with money, you might think of all the things you are going to have to give up. You might even think about what you are going to do when you are homeless. I’ve talked to a lot of people who have lost their jobs, and this is what they think about. When an individual is facing the crisis of losing their income, it may not be easy to change the habit of catastrophizing with a phrase.
How do we know if a memorized sentence is not enough? That’s easy! What was your reaction when you read about a reminder or affirmation? If your response was favorable, then it may be enough. However, if your reaction was unfavorable, then it may not be enough because life works by faith. If you have no belief that you can change, you will not attempt to. You must apply the exercise for it to work.
In addition to a reminder to help you overcome focusing on the worst outcome, try this exercise: get a pen, a piece of paper, and write down the best possible outcome, one you would like to see happen. Make sure it is the absolute best thing that could ever happen to you.
Using the money as an example, you could write down a way you can make more money, or how you can get a better-paying job, or what you would like to be doing that would provide more income. It's like writing a goal. When an individual writes a goal, research indicates there is a 50% greater chance of achieving it.
A great way to set goals is to write them down, put a date on them (set a time limit), list all the obstacles to overcome, which are usually beliefs, put a plan of action on paper, and then write down all the benefits that will come to pass. Writing down, thinking about, and feeling the benefits motivates. If this seems too much, then make it simpler by writing what you want and all the blessings you’d experience when the goal becomes a reality.
If you create a reminder, say the reminder to yourself every day, all day, set a goal, which is the best possible thing that can happen, and read your goal morning, noon, and night, then do at least one thing a day on your plan of action, you will build faith in yourself. You will feel better because you are moving forward; you will replace worry with faith, and you will definitely de-stress yourself. I know that you can do this, you know you can! You have the power!
You have a choice here, my friend: you can choose to worry, or you can choose to create faith! Which one will you choose? You are the most crucial person in your life, and you can do this. It may seem so simple, but it is not necessarily easy.
Application and practice are behavioral science. Success is creating healthy habits by replacing the unhealthy ones. Training yourself to thrive is a skill that will only make your life better. You can choose faith over and over. You can choose happiness, which comes from faith.
Praying you will make a commitment to yourself and do the exercises provided above.
EXAMPLES
These examples are from people I have worked with in the past, and the situations are common yet much more complex than a couple of paragraphs can convey. The following examples can help you focus on what you want rather than what you don’t want. The intention is to create a reminder that serves as a potential destination, to feel the hope and possibility of change with faith, and to be inspired to move towards the affirmation in your actions.
Example one:
A business owner I worked with, who made, at the time, over $250,000 a year, worried about money and where the future clients were going to come from. This worry was causing anger, irritability, and moodiness, which provoked his wife to send him my way.
We looked at the evidence, and he always had clients; he just had a worry habit that was learned from his parents and developed as early as childhood. The affirmation he devised was, “I always have enough clients, and make enough money.” After simple awareness and evidence, he found the affirmation was true and a statement of fact, which helped him overcome his worry habit and ease his moodiness, which came from fear.
Example two:
A Mother of six was worried about one of her sons smoking marijuana, and this worry caused mild anxiety and lack of sleep. We reviewed the evidence and found that her approach and behavior towards her son were causing chaos in the relationship, which heightened her worry.
She defined what she would and would not allow herself to do, spoke to him with love, and learned to let go of her worry. The mantra she created was, “We all must live our own journey with our own difficulties. No matter what, I love my son and I will behave as such, and everything will be okay, it always is.” Needless to say, not only did her stress decrease, but her entire household experienced greater peace, and she and her son developed a deeper relationship.
Example three:
A gentleman in his thirties, a manager, felt his boss was harassing him, was constantly worried about work, and was unable to relax or sleep.
We looked at the evidence and found that he was doing an excellent job and had every reason to live with calm certainty and confidence. In addition, he discovered his boss’s behavior had everything to do with his boss’s issues, not his.
The reminder he developed was, “I am calm, confident, and certain that I do an excellent job. My boss is hurting, and therefore strikes out to hurt others.”
As I mentioned above, these examples are much more complex than a few paragraphs can explain. Everyone’s situation is different, and we must look at our own circumstances from a point of view of faith and desire.
REMEMBER!
With God, all things are possible. You are His child; you are so very special. You are born to succeed, and your future is in your hands.
Your dreams can come true, you can be, do, and have anything your heart desires, and you can achieve anything you set your mind to. You can retrain your brain, expand your vision, strengthen your faith, and boost your self-confidence. Choose to step forward daily, believe in yourself, let go of the past, and never give up! Never give up, and never beat yourself up! Rejoice in the remembering.
One last thing, keep it secret and keep it safe. You are much more likely to succeed if you keep the exercises and your thoughts between God and you. The last thing anyone needs is criticism and discouragement from the confused. Understanding and wisdom will come from a deeper relationship between God and you. Talk and walk with God, and you will not go wrong.
Praying with all my heart and soul that this has been helpful, and for your wisdom and understanding to help you de-stress.
Speak soon,
