Do You Lose Your Temper Or Become Impatient Easily?

 

Losing your temper and being impatient create stress because they are unhealthy for you and others. This causes unhappiness and discomfort in both body and mind. Recognizing this harm can inspire change.

 

When we do something repeatedly, it can be difficult to discontinue the habit. 

 

The dictionary defines a habit as a recurrent, often unconscious behavior that is acquired through frequent repetition.  

  

Many women have sent their spouses to me because they are fed up with their husbands' lack of tolerance, and wives threaten to divorce over issues of temper.

 

Some people get so mad over the littlest things, and they act like someone is trying to kill them, or someone is going to die. 

 

Being intense is not who we are. When we were born into this world, we were full of love and trust.  

 

As we experience life, our teachers, parents, and the people around us get frustrated when things don't go their way, and that is where we learn this unhealthy habit.

 

If you lose your temper and are impatient, you can overcome it, I promise. But you've got to do the work. 

 

The first step is learning that unhappiness is stressful and that controlling your response helps you prosper. Believing in your ability to take responsibility is the start.

 

In working with people on stressful habits, I've noticed that those who succeed realize they alone control their reactions and can change them. Those who struggle believe that others are to blame and feel powerless to change.

 

It is interesting to me that many so-called intelligent people lose their temper so easily.  When I had my anger issues, although I thought I was intelligent, I was not. If I were smart, would I not control this behavior?

 

I used to lose my temper and have little patience. Now, if I get even a little frustrated or angry, I find myself giggling within seconds—it seems funny to me. I didn’t think that before, but now, knowing what I know, I find it cute.

 

The second step is to learn to relax and not take life too seriously. When we lose our temper, we get uptight and tense. We can learn to chill out and not be so grim.

 

Life can be, and is for many people, full of joy and vitality. Think about it for a moment.  Some people, when they lose their temper, act like the world is coming to an end. If the world were coming to an end, then it would be more reasonable to lose it, but it’s not.

 

If you lose your cool often, spend time every day finding your inner child, innocent and playful. When you begin to lose it, remind yourself you are changing this habit. It may sound simple, but it works and will help. Trust me, only you can change this habit.

 

You can persuade yourself to chill by saying silly things like, “I love it when they do that,” or, “It is so cute when that happens.” You will think it is so ridiculous, and eventually you will start laughing. Before you even get angry, you'll say, “Elizabeth is right, this works.” This will become really funny. Just remember, practice makes perfect, so keep at it.

 

Another important step is to ask for help through prayer. When something feels too difficult, ask God for support and trust that He can help. 

 

Practicing faith, patience, and trust will strengthen your progress in overcoming any habit.

 

In my line of work, whether it was handling 911 emergency calls or responding to our heroes in despair, I have seen enough miracles to know that God is real. When I help people, I am serving the Lord, and He blesses me to witness miracles.

 

There have been times when I have prayed for miracles, and they have happened, sometimes within seconds. 

 

There have been many times when a still, small voice has whispered a name to me, and I have been inspired to call that person. Sometimes I have not spoken to that individual in months or even years. 

 

Because I obey, I call, and each time I do, the person is right smack dab in the middle of a crisis or a state of despair. That’s guidance from God.

 

Here comes that arrogance people say I have, but I call it faith. God has given me a gift: to take people from crisis to calm within minutes, sometimes within seconds. Maybe it’s not a gift, but a skill, or both. 

 

I have had the fortunate opportunity to practice and perfect this gift for over 30 years in emergency situations. The point I am trying to make here is that God is real and He loves us. He loves us so much that He will whisper a name.

 

We can be His representative on earth to heal his son or daughter who is in anguish or hopelessness. 

 

Why am I telling you this? When I suggest you go to God, I want you to know that He is here for us. I know this with all my heart and soul, and I know without a doubt in my mind, heart, and soul that God is so very real.

 

There have been thousands of people I’ve had the fortunate opportunity to help relieve their severe emotional distress, and I have done it all with God. It’s not me who does it. I’m only an instrument, and this experience has brought me to a deep relationship with our Heavenly Father.

 

God is real and the reason for life. God is life! You may believe it or not. There's a difference in knowing about God and knowing Him. Deepen your relationship by turning to Him for comfort and strength, and you will know God more and more.

 

So here’s the deal: if you want to eliminate the habit of losing your temper and getting angry easily, know that it is not okay, and take responsibility for your actions. Learn to relax, search for your inner child, remind yourself, and most importantly, turn to your Heavenly Father for help. 

 

You know, and I know you have the strength to do this, and you are worth it, my friend, because you are so very important to you, your family, your friends, your future, your Heavenly Father, and to me.

 

I love you!

 

Elizabeth 

Angry, Irritable, or Moody?

 

Some people say anger is a healthy emotion. This is probably one of the greatest misunderstandings of many when it comes to negative feelings. Recent studies have shown that brief anger spikes harm arteries and is a heart risk; chronic anger fuels heart disease, plus mental issues like anxiety and depression.

 

Frequent or recurrent irritability impairs blood vessel function for up to 40 minutes per episode, raising the risk of heart disease, heart attacks, and strokes over time. 

 

Chronic moodiness is linked to higher cardiovascular morbidity, weakened immune function, hypertension, and other stress-related conditions.

 

Anger, irritability, and moodiness are stress conditions that also lead to mental health concerns, which are associated with increased anxiety and depression, psychological distress, mood disorders, and poor impulse control. They exacerbate stress and can worsen conditions like PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Not to mention, rage and wrath lead to violence.

 

Consequently, anger, as well as irritability and moodiness, are abnormal and unhealthy emotions, especially when experienced daily. 

 

Negative feelings are mentally, physically, and spiritually exhausting and unhealthy. These conditions hurt the self more than anyone else.

 

Some further misunderstandings about angry emotions are that people believe they have no control, that others are to blame, and that they're necessary. These mistakes are the lies the world teaches us.

 

Anger, irritability, and moodiness are inessential reactions and habits. Everyone gets angry at different frequencies and levels; some have rare legitimate reasons, while others keep looking for justifications. Some people remain temperamental and are ruled by their disposition.

 

Anger, moodiness, and irritability stem from a fear implanted in a person, most likely at a very young age. If you have a consistent negative emotion, you likely picked it up somewhere along your life, thinking that this is the way to behave in certain circumstances or with certain people, through example and reinforcement. Subsequently, somewhere in the midst of living your life, it became a pattern of reacting, stemming from an untold fear within, because practice makes perfect.

 

The opposite of negative emotions are patience, peace, and serenity, which come from within as well.

 

A person who does not display anger, moodiness, or irritability is usually easygoing.  I say "usually" because a tolerant person remains calm and does not get worked up. Nevertheless, just because a person stays composed does not mean they are not angry inside.

 

Some individuals do not react outwardly but are very heated inside.  It is a deception learned to show no outward emotion. They may believe that expressing their anger will shame them because it is a sign of weakness. Getting angry and holding it in is far more dangerous than expressing it, without violence, of course.

 

Holding anger in is dangerous because it poisons the individual. 

 

When someone gets angry and shows it, there is a release, and when you hold it in, there is no release; it becomes more toxic mentally, emotionally, and physically, and then it spirituality weakens.

 

The greatest challenge with the habit of intense emotion is the unawareness of how bad it is for an individual and that it is controllable. Some people fully own their behavior and beliefs, others avoid responsibility altogether, and most fall somewhere in between.

 

The question I pose to you is, do you believe that you have control over your attitude and reactions? If you don’t, please consider the possibility that you do.

 

There have been many times in my younger years when I was really, truly, angry, moody, and irritable, and now that I look back, I see that it was destructive and ineffective. If you read my book, EMS Stress: EMT & Paramedic Basic Stress Management, you will get an idea of what I call my 'angry years'.

 

When I began my education in Behavioral Science, I discovered so many things about stress, especially PTSD. As I continue to research and study solutions, I have close to zero anger, and if I do, it only lasts a millisecond. If I can overcome this very stressful tendency, anyone can.

 

One of the best ways to eliminate anger is to find happiness.  Joy comes from within and focusing on all the good things in life. Seeing the great things in one’s life and appreciating them creates delight.

 

There was an individual who couldn't find a job and was losing her home to foreclosure. She was so depressed, and her reaction was moodiness and irritability.  After working together, she realized she had a deep fear of the future because everything was being taken from her.  So, I helped her shift her thought process. She chose to focus on what was right so she could feel gratitude.  She realized that she had a supportive family and friends, and she would indeed have a roof over her head.

 

When she changed her way of thinking, the stress of the foreclosure and how she would pay for a home disappeared, along with the moodiness and irritability. She became focused on the good things and what her best outcome could be. Her focus brought happiness and productivity through clear thinking and gratitude.

 

Does this sound impractical to you? This may sound unrealistic to those under severe stress, but we are lucky beings, and sometimes we may not realize it because of our current state of mind. It takes a decision to repeatedly change one's mind.

 

Could you possibly imagine losing your job and your home? Has that happened to you? Imagine the woman I speak of not only losing everything, but what if she was in constant pain, or if she had no supportive family, in constant pain, and was losing everything? That is so very harsh, but there are lives of lack and loss very similar to what I speak of.

 

What I appreciate in life and focus on is that I am breathing, loving, walking, and kissing the beautiful faces I adore. Our senses of hearing, seeing, smelling, speaking, tasting, and touching are the basic things I am grateful for daily, and I never want to take them for granted.

 

Another thing one can do to overcome anger is fall in love with life. This one is a good one! How do I know? Because I have helped many people find peace and pleasure with this truth. Joy is a byproduct of merging appreciation with falling in love with life.

 

Stress comes from contemplating what we fear and hate, and my teachings on stress relief are based on attention to adoration and thankfulness for life. We can hate or love; it’s all about our focus. I love sitting here typing on the computer. I love getting up early in the morning when everyone else is asleep. I love my Daddy, Mommy, Son, all of my family, and all of my friends.

 

I love serving the Lord. I love helping people learn permanent stress relief. I love people, places, things, and circumstances. I love helping people out of crisis and despair. 

 

Most of all, I love the unlovable! Why do I love unpleasant people? Because they are the ones who need love the most. The despised become hateful because they do not know love, and loathe life and themselves. Jesus hung out with the offensive, and He is my greatest teacher.

 

How did I get here, to this place of loving everything?  I learned it from the Lord.  I learned that I have a deep-down inside true faith in God. This is not some superficial thing that is convenient for me to turn to Him when I am in need. This is a deep, down inside my soul, faith and trust in Him and in life. God is love, and so I must love love.

 

“He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.” (1 John4:8, KJV)

 

Most of my life I have known about God and now in my latter years I have come to really know Him through perfect, pure love. The perfect love of God, and the pure love of Christ. 

 

No matter what happens to me or what I am going through, I need not fear because Heavenly Father has always taken care of me and always will. Trials and tribulations, including death, are going to come, and I am not in denial because I know it’s a part of life, and I can get through it with God.

 

We have a choice when trials, tribulations, death, dying, and even devastation come. This is the choice: We can have love and believe that God can manage it, or we can have hate and believe that we cannot. When we know we can prevail, we feel magnificent and remarkable. When we believe we cannot survive, we have fear, hate, and worry. When we hate, we can become angry, irritable, and moody.

 

Finally, another significant way to eliminate anger is to practice stillness and learn to be playful.

 

On my journey to removing my anger, the first two action steps I took were learning to take charge of my thoughts and focusing on increasing my playfulness. I did this by influencing my mind through meditation and affirmations.

 

Quieting the mind gives calm certainty that replaces anger. Calm certainty does not happen overnight; it comes from experience, and these experiences can show us how very strong we are. Confidence can come from a steady practice of meditating so that we can be right here, right now, in this moment, fully present in fun.

 

Through daily stillness, I listen to my own thoughts and ultimately take charge of them. When a person learns to govern their behavior by their renewed beliefs, brilliance occurs. We can take responsibility for our thoughts; turn fear into fun; and understanding and wisdom become the result.

 

Because I know that practice makes perfect, I have practiced playfulness and stillness for years, recently becoming pretty good at it, not perfect, but enjoyably capable. The past is gone, and the future is not here yet, so we can choose to be right here, right now, to enjoy life, and what better way than to be fully present in appreciation, fun, and love?

 

As I take responsibility for my thoughts, I hear two voices in my head: one is positive and encouraging, and the other is negative and discouraging. This is so amazing because, as I am aware, I create a dialogue in my head.

 

Whenever I innocently criticize myself, I blast it with a rebellious voice of compliments, and whenever I naively discourage myself, I blast that with a rebellious voice of encouragement. This has become really funny to me. Furthermore, this has eliminated the habit of criticizing and discouraging others and replaced it with a habit of compliments and encouragement.

 

Sometimes, I have such a huge smile on my face as I laugh at myself because I am so funny in my head that people always comment on how happy I am and how big my smile is. Actually, I am happy, and I do have a big smile because I laugh at myself so much.

 

When I first wrote my books, I put in numerous playful comments. If you are a reader of my blog, destressyourself.com, you know how silly and playful I really am. Well, I had to remove the playfulness because my advisors said people would misconstrue it as illiteracy. Can you believe that? He, he, he.

 

People have told me I am arrogant when I speak of de-stressing myself. Societal standards often teach us to compete rather than cooperate. Arrogance is when someone thinks they are better than you, and confidence is just trusting. Please understand that I know I am not better than anyone; I am becoming the person I want to be through appreciation, love, playfulness, and trust. That is my power that gives me value and worth.

 

We all have the power to become what we want to be. Anyone can eliminate anger, irritability, and moodiness by cultivating habits of happiness through appreciation, falling in love with life via focus, quieting the mind, and being playful. Also, consistently reminding oneself helps the process.

 

Anyone can become what they want through choice, because they have the power within themselves. When a person discovers this power, they realize their value and worth.

 

Praying you realize your value and worth through your power to choose patience, peace, and serenity if you'd like to. 

Speak soon,

Elizabeth 

Destressing The Racing Mind

 

Some people live in a hectic world, and their minds can and will race as fast as that world they live in.

 

Some people are born with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), or ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder), which gives way to a noisy mind.

 

Others may experience Acute Stress or PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), which also lends to a nonstop racing mind.

 

Many people who experience any of the above may not know or believe they can consciously quiet their thoughts with practice, making it permanent. 

 

Through education, evidence, and experience, my humble opinion is that anyone can and will quiet their racing mind if they practice without giving up and without beating themselves up. 

 

With God, all things are possible.

 

"But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible." (Matthew 19:26, New Testament, Holy Bible, KJV)

 

I believe and know that this is so.

 

If you have a racing mind and want to practice it into a calmer, more confident place and space, try this: Sit up quietly in an uninterrupted environment, and close your eyes. Focus on following your breath in and out, feel your heartbeat, and let your body relax as gravity does its job. 

 

Do this for five minutes first thing in the morning, and consciously feel yourself relax, feel yourself being secure and safe in this present moment.

 

Then, throughout the day, bring yourself back to that place of a quiet mind and a relaxed body, focusing on relaxation, safety, and security.

 

This exercise can also be done as you lie your head on your pillow at night before you go to sleep. If you have difficulty falling asleep, you may be surprised to learn this exercise can and will help you fall asleep.

 

Suppose you have a racing mind and feel out of control with anger, anxiety, depression, irritability, or moodiness. In that case, I suggest you begin practicing quieting your mind with the exercise above.

 

This is so good for everyone to practice. This practice allows a person to see that he or she can feel calm and confident at any time and anywhere.

 

Practice this into permanence.

 

This may not be easy for some people because they may not believe in themselves. But know this! We can choose to use our authority to govern our minds by consciously focusing on what we want. In this case, we want to practice quieting the ever-busy mind.

 

We can choose to use our power to condition and train ourselves to cultivate a calmer, more confident connection to God. I know that we are more guided and inspired by God in the stillness of our minds. 

 

"Be still, and know that I am God: " (Psalm 46:10, The Old Testament, Holy Bible, KJV)

 

Praying for your success, 

 

Elizabeth 

Are You Weary And Worried?

 

 

HELLO!

  

MY SOMETIMES MONDAY VIEW WHILE I WRITE!

 

Are You Weary And Worried?

Got a prayer for you. If you are having a hard time in life right now or feeling stuck, I pray that you may read the words I’ve written with an open mind. Maybe you will agree with me or disagree; either way, I pray you will consider these words to see if they are true for you.

My prayer is that you will have the courage, strength, and trust to seek your truth, because courage, strength, and trust are the truths taught by God, and worry is the lie we are taught by the world, which weakens our souls.

Worrying is common in our human existence, and we all experience it. It is normal to feel stressed sometimes. If an individual is prone to habitual worry, it can cause emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual chaos and fatigue. Faith is essential to our spirituality, and spirituality may be the missing link to success for those under high stress. When we have confidence, we feel good and know we will be okay.

The word “faith” appears in the New Testament over 230 times. Faith is the opposite of fear, and worry creates fear. It is my humble opinion, formed over twenty-five years of education, evidence, and experience in de-stressing our heroes in uniform and the general population, that our strength as spiritual and human beings comes from our trust in God. This trust gives us confidence in life, love, others, and ourselves. This certainty gives health to the navel, marrow to the bones, and power to a sound mind.

When we worry, we imagine the worst possible outcomes, which makes us feel distressed. Furthermore, we experience mild, moderate, or severe anxiety.

Panic triggers the fight-or-flight response, also known as the stress response. This response is helpful in acute, life-saving situations but extremely harmful on a chronic, day-to-day basis. Fight-or-flight raises blood pressure, shifts blood flow, and releases toxic hormonal reactions in the body. Many of our body systems then shut down, especially the digestive, healing, and immune systems. Stress, my friend, is the number one cause of emotional, mental, and physical illness because of the survival instincts of the body. Certainly, one can see that a stressful personality can lead to illness.

There was a time when I would receive at least a dozen emails and speak to at least half a dozen people a day who were experiencing stress, mostly worry. This worry is often a habitual way of thinking. The remedy for this habit is to cultivate calm, confidence, and faith.

You will notice, or maybe you won’t, that some people fear while others have faith. Do you tend to doubt, or do you have peace? If you are insecure, the best thing you can do is overcome it. The challenge in overcoming insecurities is believing that you can.

A successful life comes from focusing on the solution and desired result, not the dreadful possible outcome. So we have a choice: focus on the desired or on the unwanted. Either one can become a permanent habit.

You may be thinking that you have to be fearful in some circumstances, or that you are not going to ignore the situation, or that you are not going to suppress your emotions. We have a choice in the habits we adopt. We can replace apprehension with confidence. This is not about ignoring situations or suppressing emotions, but rather about acknowledging the ability and desire to shift from clinging to the habit of catastrophizing to cultivating trust.

So how does one change the habit of worry? The best way to change a habit is to consistently and deliberately change focus. The best way to transform attention is first to become aware, then to be reminded. We must remind ourselves of what we want when worries arise. A great help in changing doubt to certainty is learning to remember, through constant reminding, “With God, all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26 KJV).

A reminder may seem silly, but it is simply another way of affirming emotional and mental discipline. However, mantras may not be enough to ensure thoughts of a favorable outcome rather than a disturbing one. What I mean is that when we are doubtful, we play out in our minds the worst possible outcome. The habit of imagining the worst may be so ingrained that a declaration alone may not be enough to change it.

For example, if you are having a hard time with money, you might think of all the things you are going to have to give up. You might even think about what you will do if you become homeless. I have talked to many people who have lost their jobs, and this is often what they think about. When an individual is facing the crisis of losing their income, it may not be easy to change the habit of catastrophizing with a phrase.

How do we know if a memorized sentence is not enough? That is easy. What was your reaction when you read about a reminder or affirmation? If your response was favorable, then it may be enough. However, if your reaction was unfavorable, then it may not be enough, because life works by faith. If you do not believe you can change, you will not attempt to. You must apply the exercise for it to work.

In addition to a reminder to help you overcome focusing on the worst outcome, try this exercise. Get a pen and a piece of paper and write down the best possible outcome, one you would like to see happen. Make sure it is the absolute best thing that could ever happen to you.

Using money as an example, you could write down a way you can make more money, how you could get a better-paying job, or what you would like to be doing that would provide more income. It is like writing a goal. When an individual writes a goal, research indicates there is a 50 percent greater chance of achieving it.

A great way to set goals is to write them down, put a date on them, set a time limit, list all the obstacles to overcome, which are usually beliefs, put a plan of action on paper, and then write down all the benefits that will come to pass. Writing down, thinking about, and feeling the benefits motivates. If this seems like too much, make it simpler by writing what you want and all the blessings you would experience when the goal becomes a reality.

If you create a reminder, say it to yourself every day. Set a goal, which is the best possible thing that can happen, and read your goal morning, noon, and night. Then do at least one thing a day from your plan of action. You will build faith in yourself. You will feel better because you are moving forward. You will replace worry with faith, and you will definitely de-stress yourself. I know you can do this. You know you can. You have the power.

You have a choice here, my friend. You can choose to worry, or you can choose to create faith. Which one will you choose? You are the most crucial person in your life, and you can do this. It may seem simple, but it is not necessarily easy.

Application and practice are behavioral science. Success is created by replacing unhealthy habits with healthy ones. Training yourself to thrive is a skill that will only make your life better. You can choose faith over and over. You can choose happiness, which comes from faith.

I pray you will make a commitment to yourself and do the exercises provided above.

EXAMPLES

These examples are from people I have worked with in the past. The situations are common, yet much more complex than a couple of paragraphs can convey. The examples below can help you focus on what you want rather than what you do not want. The intention is to create a reminder that serves as a potential destination, helps you feel hope and the possibility of change through faith, and inspires you to move toward the affirmation through your actions.

Example One:

A business owner I worked with, who made over $250,000 a year at the time, worried about money and where future clients would come from. This worry caused anger, irritability, and moodiness, which led his wife to send him my way.

We looked at the evidence, and he had always had clients. He simply had a worry habit learned from his parents and developed early in childhood. The affirmation he devised was, “I always have enough clients and make enough money.” After simple awareness and reviewing the evidence, he found the affirmation to be true and factual. This helped him overcome his worry habit and ease the moodiness that came from fear.

Example Two:

A mother of six was worried about one of her sons smoking marijuana. This worry caused mild anxiety and lack of sleep. We reviewed her circumstances and found that her approach and behavior toward her son were causing chaos in the relationship, which increased her worry.

She defined what she would and would not allow herself to do, spoke to him with love, and learned to let go of her worry. The mantra she created was, “We all must live our own journey with our own difficulties. No matter what, I love my son and I will behave as such, and everything will be okay. It always is.” Not only did her stress decrease, but her entire household experienced greater peace, and she and her son developed a deeper relationship.

Example Three:

A gentleman in his thirties, a manager, felt his boss was harassing him. He was constantly worried about work and unable to relax or sleep.

We considered all scenarios and found that he was doing an excellent job and had every reason to live with calm certainty and confidence. He also discovered that his boss’s behavior had everything to do with his boss’s issues, not his own. The reminder he developed was, “I am calm, confident, and certain that I do an excellent job. My boss is hurting and therefore strikes out to hurt others.”

As mentioned earlier, these examples are far more complex than a few paragraphs can explain. Everyone’s situation is different, and we must look at our own circumstances from a point of view of faith and desire.

REMEMBER

With God, all things are possible. You are His child. You are very special. You are born to succeed, and your future is in your hands.

Your dreams can come true. You can be, do, and have anything your heart desires, and you can achieve anything you set your mind to. You can retrain your brain, expand your vision, strengthen your faith, and boost your self-confidence. Choose to step forward daily, believe in yourself, let go of the past, and never give up. Never give up, and never beat yourself up. Rejoice in the remembering.

One last thing. Keep it secret and keep it safe. You are much more likely to succeed if you keep the exercises and your thoughts between God and you. The last thing anyone needs is criticism and discouragement from the confused. Understanding and wisdom come from a deeper relationship between God and you. Talk and walk with God, and you will not go wrong.

Praying with all my heart and soul that this has been helpful, and that you receive wisdom and understanding to help you de-stress.

Speak soon, 

Elizabeth

STRESS TEST

 

Have you ever taken my stress test? It's the new year, and it's a good time to take a stress test, whether you have or haven't. Let's do this, shall we?

 

Stress Test

Answer the following questions by choosing a number between 1 and 5: (1) never, (2) almost never, (3) occasionally, (4) frequently, (5) all the time.

1. Do you worry?
2. Do you experience a racing mind?
3. Are you angry, moody, or irritable?
4. Do you lose your temper or become impatient easily?
5. Do you have trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, or getting essential hours of sleep because you can't stop thinking of things you have to do or because you have too much going on in your life?
6. Do you binge on or are you actively addicted to a certain activity, food, caffeine, tobacco, alcohol, or any form of pharmaceutical, over-the-counter, or illegal drug?
7. Do you find yourself walking, talking, or eating fast because you are always in a hurry?
8. Do you set simple goals or continuously tell yourself you are going to do something and don't do it?
9. Do you feel like you are in a constant state of going nowhere?
10. Do you notice that it is important to you, or you spend a lot of energy proving that you are right or things should be done the "right way," your way?
11. Do you complain about other people, places, or things?
12. Do you get offended easily and/or talk negatively about other people?
13. Are you unable to enjoy yourself even when you are doing something you love?

Add up your results.

If you would like to utilize a truth scale, ask someone who knows you really well to take this test on your behalf, and then compare answers.

Score

1. 13- a very destressed person

2. 14-25 almost always destressed

3. 26-38 more often destressed than stressed

4. 39-52, you need to destress yourself

5. 53- 65, you seriously need to destress yourself

If you answered 5 to any of the questions above, you may want to consider de-stressing that particular habit. In the following posts over the next few weeks, you will find a corresponding post to the stressful habit from the test, along with suggestions for stress reduction and stress relief.

 

This is for discovery, enjoyment, and fun!

 

Speak soon,

 

Elizabeth 

The Solution to Every Problem is God

 

The solution to every problem is God. 

 

This is something I've known since an early age, but I didn't know how to find the answer. The scripture below tells us how to find the answer and solution to every problem.

"And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." ~Romans 12:2, New Testament, Holy Bible, KJV

If we want understanding and wisdom, we must learn of God, and as we gain clarity, we transform our minds to His will, not the world's.

What is God's will? God's will is that we do His work.

What is God's work? God's work comes from following Christ, studying the scriptures, and seeking guidance from the Holy Ghost. Doing this leads to discipleship. Through our discipleship of Christ, God's work is accomplished in us and the world. 

 

Something to consider, wouldn't you agree?

 

What does the scripture, given above, mean to you?

 

It may be a great consideration and contemplation for whatever you may be struggling with in life right now. 

 

What do you think?

 

Praying you into a stress-free holiday season.

 

God bless you, my dear reader.

 

Speak soon,

 

Elizabeth 

Ability to be Brilliant

"Only be thou strong and very courageous, that thou mayest observe to do according to all the law, which Moses my servant commanded thee: turn not from it to the right hand or to the left, that thou mayest prosper withersoever thou goest.

This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.

Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest." 

~Joshua 1:7-9 Holy Bible KJV

There Are Four Kinds of People in the World

 

Hello! How are you doing? Praying you are absolutely loving life, and if you are not, I can give you something to consider. 

 

But first, did you accept my challenge in the last post, The Purpose of Life? If so, great job! I am so very proud of you! 

 

If you haven't read it, please do so by clicking here.

 

Recently, I've discovered that there are four kinds of people in the world. In my experience, I always thought there were three kinds of people: person A, above average; person B, below average; and person C, the common. These categories referred to attitude, confidence, and understanding life and the self.

 

As I read Matthew Chapter 13 in the New Testament, Jesus teaches that, in the parable of the sower, there are, in fact, four kinds of people.

"When any one heareth the word of the kingdom, and understandeth it not, then cometh the wicked one, and catcheth away that which was sown in his heart. This is he which received seed by the way side.  

But he that received the seed into stony places, the same is he that heareth the word, and anon with joy receiveth it;  

Yet hath he not root in himself, but dureth for a while: for when tribulation or persecution ariseth because of the word, by and by he is offended.

He also that received seed among the thorns is he that heareth the word; and the care of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, choke the word, and he becometh unfruitful.  

But he that received seed into the good ground is he that heareth the word, and understandeth it; which also beareth fruit, and bringeth forth, some an hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty." ~Matthew 13:19-23, New Testament, Holy Bible, KJV

 

I want to be the kind of person who receives the seed, the word of God, in the good ground so that I may understand. God, Jesus Christ, and the scriptures teach us success in this life and the next.

Learning is the most important thing so that we may understand life. It is my never-ending goal to learn about God because God is life, and God is the reason for life. It's all for God, and I must know about Him so I know about life. Something to consider, wouldn't you agree? 

 

Which person are you? 

 

Which person do you want to be? 

 

It is my prayer that I help you with considerations and contemplation if you are having a hard time in life. I'm just a simple soul deepening my relationship with God because that is what life is all about.

 

Praying you find God's comfort, courage, peace, and strength.

 

That's all I got!

 

Adios for now!

 

I love you! Because that's who I am.

 

Elizabeth

The Purpose of Life!

 

In all my education, experiences, research, studying, teaching, and writing, I am confident that this scripture is the purpose of life.

 

"He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty."

Psalms 91:1 KJV 

 

This scripture is about deepening our relationship with God by learning, living, talking, and walking with him. A close intimate relationship with God leads to His all powerful care and guidance. Consider it please! 

 

I challenge you to memorize this scripture and focus on it day and night, for at least a month. As you contemplate its meaning, I believe you will start to feel more and more the peace, presence, and protection of God. In addition, you may discover the safety, security, strength, and supply of God. But you must concentrate and consider this scripture with the utmost importance.

 

That's all I got except love for you. 

 

Take good care!

 

Elizabeth 

Finding Peace and Strength with God

My favorite question to ask people is, "What is the most important thing you have learned in life thus far?" The reason it's my favorite question is that I learn a great deal from the answers. The most profound answers I've heard are from teenagers. It's probably because they still live by love and are not as tainted by the world as adults may be.

The most important thing that I have learned in life thus far is that God is real and God is the truth. God is love. Therefore, love is the truth. We can and do learn this truth by doing the will and work of God. 

"Then said they unto him, What shall we do, that we might work the works of God? Jesus answered and said unto them, This is the work of God, that ye believe on him whom he hath sent." John 6:28-29, Holy Bible, KJV.

When we believe in Jesus, we behave as if we genuinely believe. Discipleship comes through becoming like Jesus. As we become more like Him daily, we do the will and work of God, which leads to peace and strength. This peace and strength comes from understanding and wisdom.

The world will teach and convince us of fear. Fear is the foundation of stress, which often leads to drama and emotional turmoil. Drama is the negative emotions we feel when we are afraid. The world teaches drama, fear, and stress. Jesus teaches faith, peace, and strength through understanding and wisdom. Therefore, drama, fear, and stress are the great misunderstandings of life.

If I could help a person prevent stress, it would be by convincing them to cling to Christ the way they cling to their drama. The average person may or may not be aware of what drama or stress is, as it may be a very regular part of their life. The best way to remedy this misunderstanding is to recognize that negative emotions can be stressful, while positive emotions are a gift from God.

Another uncommonly known fact in this wonderful world is that our chronic negative emotions are habits formed from our habitual focus. We are habitual beings, and we tend to focus on doubt, fear, and worry or on calm, confidence, and faith, depending on our mood at the moment and the subject. For example, some people worry about money but are confident in their health and relationships, while others worry about their health and relationships but are confident in their financial situation. Or a person may be fearful about their health but remain faithful in their relationships.

The great news is we have the freedom to choose what we habitually practice and, therefore, become. When we choose to cling to Christ and discipleship rather than our drama, negative emotions, and stress, we find peace and strength with God from understanding and wisdom. This wisdom is why I always recommend meditating on a memorized scripture.

If you are experiencing turmoil and have for some time, peace and strength may come gradually, not overnight. If you want more peace and strength, the best way is to fill your mind with God, replacing all other thoughts that cause despair.

Start by meditating on the scripture given above as you memorize it. We have a choice! We can choose discipleship or drama. Choosing discipleship is taking responsibility for your future and life. Taking responsibility leads to God's peace and strength.

Praying my words help you find peace and strength in God if you need it! 

Take care,

Elizabeth

Exercise for the Weary Soul

Many people have come to me for help because they sometimes feel like giving up on life. Some people ask, "What is it all for?" And others say, "I am done; I'm ready not to be here anymore."

To hear words like that is heartbreaking for me. It's disheartening because I've been there. My soul has been, in my past, very hungered for something and very weary.

There may be nothing I could say that might bring anyone out of such a feeling. I cannot remember anything anyone ever said to me that got me out of that state.

One thing I do know, with all my heart, is that I have a never-ending desire to know God. God has brought me to a place of profound joy deep within my soul. This joy did not happen overnight. This joy came from loving myself enough to turn to God for relief, respite, and solace.

If I could accomplish anything in my entire lifetime, it would be to point the weary soul to God repeatedly until they find the relief and joy that I have seen.

The number one thing I see in people with a weary soul is the lack of belief in themselves. This lack of faith can lead to blaming others for misery. The joy in this life comes from a connection to God and a focus on purpose. This connection and direction come from within. It originates from the mind, which gives us the power to make choices. When we do not use this power, we feel powerless. Appreciation is the truth to choose, and it takes focus.

When we appreciate ourselves and the things we have, and when things go our way, we feel good. The opposite of this is complaining about and criticizing ourselves, including the things we have and don't have, as well as when things don't go our way. Complaining and criticizing makes us feel inadequate and sustains misery. In addition, this fault finding is the epitome of taking life for granted (certainly a topic for another post). 

The words in the last paragraph are not an easy thing to read, and I do not mean to be unkind. I am attempting to provoke thought, not to hurt feelings. To think that we have no control over our focus and expectations, yet expect others to do the same, is pure insanity. That is also a challenging thing to read.

Please forgive me if I offend you. Please understand I am attempting to explain basic behavior and common sense. Common sense suggests that we have a choice, and that is what our mind is for - to choose our focus by desire, not by default.

The crux of human conditioning can and will convince us that we are not competent or strong enough to adopt a better attitude. However, if we improve our attitude, we will develop a more positive personality, which, in turn, will relieve weariness.

Do you believe in yourself?

Can you choose your focus?

Do you believe you can connect to God?

Let's try a spiritual experiment! Are you willing?

I have a scripture for you.

"In every thing give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." ~1 Thessalonians 5:18, Holy Bible, KJV

For at least a week, meditate, memorize, and think about this scripture, especially when things don't go your way. When things do not go our way, we may become angry, anxious, or depressed, but there is a valuable lesson to be learned from these emotions. Negative emotions disconnect us from God, who is, in fact, in charge, and He allows things to happen for our spiritual growth. This expansion is a testing of our faith, which works out our patience.

The lesson is ALWAYS appreciation, faith, love, patience, and trust in the Lord. You may or may not know this intellectually and may or may not behave as though you believe it. Nevertheless, this is the lesson of life.

Behaving as though we believe the lesson is ALWAYS appreciation, faith, love, patience, and trust in the Lord because He is, in fact, in charge, is how and when we live in our power. 

A life of joy is a spiritual life, and this living from the spirit will relieve the weary soul.  

I ramble and repeat. Nevertheless, I do it for you, and I do it for me, so we may level up in life and live the bliss of joy through God.

God gives joy to the soul, and no one could ever convince me otherwise. Focus, focus, focus on your new mission, as outlined in the scripture above, and let us elevate ourselves in life towards God.

Practice appreciation when things go your way, and when they don't, look up into the sky and say, "Thank you, Heavenly Father." If you do, you will get a glimpse of your true power and begin to believe in yourself. If anything, it will seem silly, and you will laugh, and what better way to transform a weary soul?

Big or little, good or bad, I always thank my Heavenly Father. I do! I'm not perfect, and sometimes it may take me a while, but it's better to be thankful than to complain about anything.

Try the experiment proposed above for at least a week and see if you experience relief from your stress. If you are brave enough, keep going for as many days as you can. Do it for yourself, and you will get a glimpse of your power if you haven't already.

Take care my friend,

Elizabeth

I Asked Grok, "Who is Elizabeth M Stanfill?"

Elizabeth M. Stanfill is an individual who has worked extensively in the field of stress management, particularly within the emergency services sector. Here are some key points about her based on available information: - **Career in Emergency Services:** She has over twenty years of experience in emergency services, starting her career as an Emergency Medical Technician (EMT) and advancing to roles like Field Training Officer (FTO) and 911 Operations Supervisor. - **Stress Management Expertise:** Elizabeth Stanfill is recognized for her work in Critical Incident Stress Management (CISM). She holds degrees where she focused on this area and has designed and directed a CISM program for a major ambulance company. - **AuthoElizabeth M. Stanfill is an individual who has worked extensively in the field of stress management, particularly within the emergency services sector. Here are some key points about her based on available information:

• Career in Emergency Services: She has over twenty years of experience in emergency services, starting her career as an Emergency Medical Technician (EMT) and advancing to roles like Field Training Officer (FTO) and 911 Operations Supervisor.
• Stress Management Expertise: Elizabeth Stanfill is recognized for her work in Critical Incident Stress Management (CISM). She holds degrees where she focused on this area and has designed and directed a CISM program for a major ambulance company.
• Authorship: She authored books on stress management for emergency personnel, including titles like "EMS Stress: EMT & Paramedic Basic Stress Management" and "Stress Free: How To Destress Via Stress Test & Stress Relief." These works aim to provide insights and solutions for dealing with stress in high-pressure environments.
• Educational Background: While specific details about her academic credentials are not comprehensively listed in the provided data, her focus on behavioral science and stress management suggests a background in these or related fields.
• Publications: Her books are noted for their practical advice and are designed to help emergency responders manage stress, including from critical incidents, everyday work frustrations, and personal life pressures.

Her work emphasizes helping first responders, including EMTs, firefighters, paramedics, and other emergency personnel, to cope better with the psychological demands of their jobs. Her approach combines her real-world experience with academic knowledge in stress management.

starting her career as an Emergency Medical Technician (EMT) and advancing to roles like Field Training Officer (FTO) and 911 Operations Supervisor. - **Stress Management Expertise:** Elizabeth Stanfill is recognized for her work in Critical Incident Stress Management (CISM). She holds degrees where she focused on this area and has designed and directed a CISM program for a major ambulance company. - **Authorship:** She authored books on stress management for emergency personnel, including titles like "EMS Stress: EMT & Paramedic Basic Stress Management" and "Stress Free: How To Destress Via Stress Test & Stress Relief." These works aim to provide insights and solutions for dealing with stress in high-pressure environments. - **Educational Background:** While specific details about her academic credentials are not comprehensively listed in the provided data, her focus on behavioral science and stress management suggests a background in these or related fields. - **Publications:** Her books are noted for their practical advice and are designed to help emergency responders manage stress, including from critical incidents, everyday work frustrations, and personal life pressures. Her work emphasizes helping first responders, including EMTs, firefighters, paramedics, and other emergency personnel, to cope better with the psychological demands of their jobs. Her approach combines her real-world experience with academic knowledge in stress management.ularly within the emergency services sector. Here are some key points about her based on available information: - **Career in Emergency Services:** She has over twenty years of experience in emergency services, starting her career as an Emergency Medical Technician (EMT) and advancing to roles like Field Training Officer (FTO) and 911 Operations Supervisor. - **Stress Management Expertise:** Elizabeth Stanfill is recognized for her work in Critical Incident Stress Management (CISM). She holds degrees where she focused on this area and has designed and directed a CISM program for a major ambulance company. - **Authorship:** She authored books on stress management for emergency personnel, including titles like "EMS Stress: EMT & Paramedic Basic Stress Management" and "Stress Free: How To Destress Via Stress Test & Stress Relief." These works aim to provide insights and solutions for dealing with stress in high-pressure environments. - **Educational Background:** While specific details about her academic credentials are not comprehensively listed in the provided data, her focus on behavioral science and stress management suggests a background in these or related fields. - **Publications:** Her books are noted for their practical advice and are designed to help emergency responders manage stress, including from critical incidents, everyday work frustrations, and personal life pressures. Her work emphasizes helping first responders, including EMTs, firefighters, paramedics, and other emergency personnel, to cope better with the psychological demands of their jobs. Her approach combines her real-world experience with academic knowledge in stress management.