Are You Weary And Worried?

 

 

HELLO!

  

MY SOMETIMES MONDAY VIEW WHILE I WRITE!

 

Are You Weary And Worried?

Got a prayer for you. If you are having a hard time in life right now or feeling stuck, I pray that you may read the words I’ve written with an open mind. Maybe you will agree with me or disagree; either way, I pray you will consider these words to see if they are true for you.

My prayer is that you will have the courage, strength, and trust to seek your truth, because courage, strength, and trust are the truths taught by God, and worry is the lie we are taught by the world, which weakens our souls.

Worrying is common in our human existence, and we all experience it. It is normal to feel stressed sometimes. If an individual is prone to habitual worry, it can cause emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual chaos and fatigue. Faith is essential to our spirituality, and spirituality may be the missing link to success for those under high stress. When we have confidence, we feel good and know we will be okay.

The word “faith” appears in the New Testament over 230 times. Faith is the opposite of fear, and worry creates fear. It is my humble opinion, formed over twenty-five years of education, evidence, and experience in de-stressing our heroes in uniform and the general population, that our strength as spiritual and human beings comes from our trust in God. This trust gives us confidence in life, love, others, and ourselves. This certainty gives health to the navel, marrow to the bones, and power to a sound mind.

When we worry, we imagine the worst possible outcomes, which makes us feel distressed. Furthermore, we experience mild, moderate, or severe anxiety.

Panic triggers the fight-or-flight response, also known as the stress response. This response is helpful in acute, life-saving situations but extremely harmful on a chronic, day-to-day basis. Fight-or-flight raises blood pressure, shifts blood flow, and releases toxic hormonal reactions in the body. Many of our body systems then shut down, especially the digestive, healing, and immune systems. Stress, my friend, is the number one cause of emotional, mental, and physical illness because of the survival instincts of the body. Certainly, one can see that a stressful personality can lead to illness.

There was a time when I would receive at least a dozen emails and speak to at least half a dozen people a day who were experiencing stress, mostly worry. This worry is often a habitual way of thinking. The remedy for this habit is to cultivate calm, confidence, and faith.

You will notice, or maybe you won’t, that some people fear while others have faith. Do you tend to doubt, or do you have peace? If you are insecure, the best thing you can do is overcome it. The challenge in overcoming insecurities is believing that you can.

A successful life comes from focusing on the solution and desired result, not the dreadful possible outcome. So we have a choice: focus on the desired or on the unwanted. Either one can become a permanent habit.

You may be thinking that you have to be fearful in some circumstances, or that you are not going to ignore the situation, or that you are not going to suppress your emotions. We have a choice in the habits we adopt. We can replace apprehension with confidence. This is not about ignoring situations or suppressing emotions, but rather about acknowledging the ability and desire to shift from clinging to the habit of catastrophizing to cultivating trust.

So how does one change the habit of worry? The best way to change a habit is to consistently and deliberately change focus. The best way to transform attention is first to become aware, then to be reminded. We must remind ourselves of what we want when worries arise. A great help in changing doubt to certainty is learning to remember, through constant reminding, “With God, all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26 KJV).

A reminder may seem silly, but it is simply another way of affirming emotional and mental discipline. However, mantras may not be enough to ensure thoughts of a favorable outcome rather than a disturbing one. What I mean is that when we are doubtful, we play out in our minds the worst possible outcome. The habit of imagining the worst may be so ingrained that a declaration alone may not be enough to change it.

For example, if you are having a hard time with money, you might think of all the things you are going to have to give up. You might even think about what you will do if you become homeless. I have talked to many people who have lost their jobs, and this is often what they think about. When an individual is facing the crisis of losing their income, it may not be easy to change the habit of catastrophizing with a phrase.

How do we know if a memorized sentence is not enough? That is easy. What was your reaction when you read about a reminder or affirmation? If your response was favorable, then it may be enough. However, if your reaction was unfavorable, then it may not be enough, because life works by faith. If you do not believe you can change, you will not attempt to. You must apply the exercise for it to work.

In addition to a reminder to help you overcome focusing on the worst outcome, try this exercise. Get a pen and a piece of paper and write down the best possible outcome, one you would like to see happen. Make sure it is the absolute best thing that could ever happen to you.

Using money as an example, you could write down a way you can make more money, how you could get a better-paying job, or what you would like to be doing that would provide more income. It is like writing a goal. When an individual writes a goal, research indicates there is a 50 percent greater chance of achieving it.

A great way to set goals is to write them down, put a date on them, set a time limit, list all the obstacles to overcome, which are usually beliefs, put a plan of action on paper, and then write down all the benefits that will come to pass. Writing down, thinking about, and feeling the benefits motivates. If this seems like too much, make it simpler by writing what you want and all the blessings you would experience when the goal becomes a reality.

If you create a reminder, say it to yourself every day. Set a goal, which is the best possible thing that can happen, and read your goal morning, noon, and night. Then do at least one thing a day from your plan of action. You will build faith in yourself. You will feel better because you are moving forward. You will replace worry with faith, and you will definitely de-stress yourself. I know you can do this. You know you can. You have the power.

You have a choice here, my friend. You can choose to worry, or you can choose to create faith. Which one will you choose? You are the most crucial person in your life, and you can do this. It may seem simple, but it is not necessarily easy.

Application and practice are behavioral science. Success is created by replacing unhealthy habits with healthy ones. Training yourself to thrive is a skill that will only make your life better. You can choose faith over and over. You can choose happiness, which comes from faith.

I pray you will make a commitment to yourself and do the exercises provided above.

EXAMPLES

 

These examples are from people I have worked with in the past. The situations are common, yet much more complex than a couple of paragraphs can convey. The examples below can help you focus on what you want rather than what you do not want. The intention is to create a reminder that serves as a potential destination, helps you feel hope and the possibility of change through faith, and inspires you to move toward the affirmation through your actions.

Example One:

A business owner I worked with, who made over $250,000 a year at the time, worried about money and where future clients would come from. This worry caused anger, irritability, and moodiness, which led his wife to send him my way.

We looked at the evidence, and he had always had clients. He simply had a worry habit learned from his parents and developed early in childhood. The affirmation he devised was, “I always have enough clients and make enough money.” After simple awareness and reviewing the evidence, he found the affirmation to be true and factual. This helped him overcome his worry habit and ease the moodiness that came from fear.

Example Two:

A mother of six was worried about one of her sons smoking marijuana. This worry caused mild anxiety and lack of sleep. We reviewed her circumstances and found that her approach and behavior toward her son were causing chaos in the relationship, which increased her worry.

She defined what she would and would not allow herself to do, spoke to him with love, and learned to let go of her worry. The mantra she created was, “We all must live our own journey with our own difficulties. No matter what, I love my son and I will behave as such, and everything will be okay. It always is.” Not only did her stress decrease, but her entire household experienced greater peace, and she and her son developed a deeper relationship.

 

Example Three:

A gentleman in his thirties, a manager, felt his boss was harassing him. He was constantly worried about work and unable to relax or sleep.

We considered all scenarios and found that he was doing an excellent job and had every reason to live with calm certainty and confidence. He also discovered that his boss’s behavior had everything to do with his boss’s issues, not his own. The reminder he developed was, “I am calm, confident, and certain that I do an excellent job. My boss is hurting and therefore strikes out to hurt others.”

 

As mentioned earlier, these examples are far more complex than a few paragraphs can explain. Everyone’s situation is different, and we must look at our own circumstances from a point of view of faith and desire.

REMEMBER

With God, all things are possible. You are His child. You are very special. You are born to succeed, and your future is in your hands.

Your dreams can come true. You can be, do, and have anything your heart desires, and you can achieve anything you set your mind to. You can retrain your brain, expand your vision, strengthen your faith, and boost your self-confidence. Choose to step forward daily, believe in yourself, let go of the past, and never give up. Never give up, and never beat yourself up. Rejoice in the remembering.

One last thing. Keep it secret and keep it safe. You are much more likely to succeed if you keep the exercises and your thoughts between God and you. The last thing anyone needs is criticism and discouragement from the confused. Understanding and wisdom come from a deeper relationship between God and you. Talk and walk with God, and you will not go wrong.

Praying with all my heart and soul that this has been helpful, and that you receive wisdom and understanding to help you de-stress.

 

Speak soon, 

 Elizabeth

STRESS TEST

 

Have you ever taken my stress test? It's the new year, and it's a good time to take a stress test, whether you have or haven't. Let's do this, shall we?

 

Stress Test

Answer the following questions by choosing a number between 1 and 5: (1) never, (2) almost never, (3) occasionally, (4) frequently, (5) all the time.

1. Do you worry?
2. Do you experience a racing mind?
3. Are you angry, moody, or irritable?
4. Do you lose your temper or become impatient easily?
5. Do you have trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, or getting essential hours of sleep because you can't stop thinking of things you have to do or because you have too much going on in your life?
6. Do you binge on or are you actively addicted to a certain activity, food, caffeine, tobacco, alcohol, or any form of pharmaceutical, over-the-counter, or illegal drug?
7. Do you find yourself walking, talking, or eating fast because you are always in a hurry?
8. Do you set simple goals or continuously tell yourself you are going to do something and don't do it?
9. Do you feel like you are in a constant state of going nowhere?
10. Do you notice that it is important to you, or you spend a lot of energy proving that you are right or things should be done the "right way," your way?
11. Do you complain about other people, places, or things?
12. Do you get offended easily and/or talk negatively about other people?
13. Are you unable to enjoy yourself even when you are doing something you enjoy?

Add up your results...

If you would like to utilize a truth scale, ask someone who knows you really well to take this test on your behalf, and then compare answers.

Score

1. 13- a very destressed person

2. 14-25 almost always destressed

3. 26-38 more often destressed than stressed

4. 39-52, you need to destress yourself

5. 53- 65, you seriously need to destress yourself

If you answered 5 to any of the questions above, you may want to consider destressing that particular habit. In the following posts over the next few weeks, you will find a corresponding post to the stressful habit from the test, along with suggestions for stress reduction and stress relief.

 

This is for discovery, enjoyment, and fun!

 

Speak soon,

 

Elizabeth 

The Solution to Every Problem is God

 

The solution to every problem is God. 

 

This is something I've known since an early age, but I didn't know how to find the answer. The scripture below tells us how to find the answer and solution to every problem.

"And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." ~Romans 12:2, New Testament, Holy Bible, KJV

If we want understanding and wisdom, we must learn of God, and as we gain clarity, we transform our minds to His will, not the world's.

What is God's will? God's will is that we do His work.

What is God's work? God's work comes from following Christ, studying the scriptures, and seeking guidance from the Holy Ghost. Doing this leads to discipleship. Through our discipleship of Christ, God's work is accomplished in us and the world. 

 

Something to consider, wouldn't you agree?

 

What does the scripture, given above, mean to you?

 

It may be a great consideration and contemplation for whatever you may be struggling with in life right now. 

 

What do you think?

 

Praying you into a stress-free holiday season.

 

God bless you, my dear reader.

 

Speak soon,

 

Elizabeth 

Ability to be Brilliant

"Only be thou strong and very courageous, that thou mayest observe to do according to all the law, which Moses my servant commanded thee: turn not from it to the right hand or to the left, that thou mayest prosper withersoever thou goest.

This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.

Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest." 

~Joshua 1:7-9 Holy Bible KJV

There Are Four Kinds of People in the World

 

Hello! How are you doing? Praying you are absolutely loving life, and if you are not, I can give you something to consider. 

 

But first, did you accept my challenge in the last post, The Purpose of Life? If so, great job! I am so very proud of you! 

 

If you haven't read it, please do so by clicking here.

 

Recently, I've discovered that there are four kinds of people in the world. In my experience, I always thought there were three kinds of people: person A, above average; person B, below average; and person C, the common. These categories referred to attitude, confidence, and understanding life and the self.

 

As I read Matthew Chapter 13 in the New Testament, Jesus teaches that, in the parable of the sower, there are, in fact, four kinds of people.

"When any one heareth the word of the kingdom, and understandeth it not, then cometh the wicked one, and catcheth away that which was sown in his heart. This is he which received seed by the way side.  

But he that received the seed into stony places, the same is he that heareth the word, and anon with joy receiveth it;  

Yet hath he not root in himself, but dureth for a while: for when tribulation or persecution ariseth because of the word, by and by he is offended.

He also that received seed among the thorns is he that heareth the word; and the care of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, choke the word, and he becometh unfruitful.  

But he that received seed into the good ground is he that heareth the word, and understandeth it; which also beareth fruit, and bringeth forth, some an hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty." ~Matthew 13:19-23, New Testament, Holy Bible, KJV

 

I want to be the kind of person who receives the seed, the word of God, in the good ground so that I may understand. God, Jesus Christ, and the scriptures teach us success in this life and the next.

Learning is the most important thing so that we may understand life. It is my never-ending goal to learn about God because God is life, and God is the reason for life. It's all for God, and I must know about Him so I know about life. Something to consider, wouldn't you agree? 

 

Which person are you? 

 

Which person do you want to be? 

 

It is my prayer that I help you with considerations and contemplation if you are having a hard time in life. I'm just a simple soul deepening my relationship with God because that is what life is all about.

 

Praying you find God's comfort, courage, peace, and strength.

 

That's all I got!

 

Adios for now!

 

I love you! Because that's who I am.

 

Elizabeth

The Purpose of Life!

 

In all my education, experiences, research, studying, teaching, and writing, I am confident that this scripture is the purpose of life.

 

"He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty."

Psalms 91:1 KJV 

 

This scripture is about deepening our relationship with God by learning, living, talking, and walking with him. A close intimate relationship with God leads to His all powerful care and guidance. Consider it please! 

 

I challenge you to memorize this scripture and focus on it day and night, for at least a month. As you contemplate its meaning, I believe you will start to feel more and more the peace, presence, and protection of God. In addition, you may discover the safety, security, strength, and supply of God. But you must concentrate and consider this scripture with the utmost importance.

 

That's all I got except love for you. 

 

Take good care!

 

Elizabeth 

Finding Peace and Strength with God

My favorite question to ask people is, "What is the most important thing you have learned in life thus far?" The reason it's my favorite question is that I learn a great deal from the answers. The most profound answers I've heard are from teenagers. It's probably because they still live by love and are not as tainted by the world as adults may be.

The most important thing that I have learned in life thus far is that God is real and God is the truth. God is love. Therefore, love is the truth. We can and do learn this truth by doing the will and work of God. 

"Then said they unto him, What shall we do, that we might work the works of God? Jesus answered and said unto them, This is the work of God, that ye believe on him whom he hath sent." John 6:28-29, Holy Bible, KJV.

When we believe in Jesus, we behave as if we genuinely believe. Discipleship comes through becoming like Jesus. As we become more like Him daily, we do the will and work of God, which leads to peace and strength. This peace and strength comes from understanding and wisdom.

The world will teach and convince us of fear. Fear is the foundation of stress, which often leads to drama and emotional turmoil. Drama is the negative emotions we feel when we are afraid. The world teaches drama, fear, and stress. Jesus teaches faith, peace, and strength through understanding and wisdom. Therefore, drama, fear, and stress are the great misunderstandings of life.

If I could help a person prevent stress, it would be by convincing them to cling to Christ the way they cling to their drama. The average person may or may not be aware of what drama or stress is, as it may be a very regular part of their life. The best way to remedy this misunderstanding is to recognize that negative emotions can be stressful, while positive emotions are a gift from God.

Another uncommonly known fact in this wonderful world is that our chronic negative emotions are habits formed from our habitual focus. We are habitual beings, and we tend to focus on doubt, fear, and worry or on calm, confidence, and faith, depending on our mood at the moment and the subject. For example, some people worry about money but are confident in their health and relationships, while others worry about their health and relationships but are confident in their financial situation. Or a person may be fearful about their health but remain faithful in their relationships.

The great news is we have the freedom to choose what we habitually practice and, therefore, become. When we choose to cling to Christ and discipleship rather than our drama, negative emotions, and stress, we find peace and strength with God from understanding and wisdom. This wisdom is why I always recommend meditating on a memorized scripture.

If you are experiencing turmoil and have for some time, peace and strength may come gradually, not overnight. If you want more peace and strength, the best way is to fill your mind with God, replacing all other thoughts that cause despair.

Start by meditating on the scripture given above as you memorize it. We have a choice! We can choose discipleship or drama. Choosing discipleship is taking responsibility for your future and life. Taking responsibility leads to God's peace and strength.

Praying my words help you find peace and strength in God if you need it! 

Take care,

Elizabeth

Exercise for the Weary Soul

Many people have come to me for help because they sometimes feel like giving up on life. Some people ask, "What is it all for?" And others say, "I am done; I'm ready not to be here anymore."

To hear words like that is heartbreaking for me. It's disheartening because I've been there. My soul has been, in my past, very hungered for something and very weary.

There may be nothing I could say that might bring anyone out of such a feeling. I cannot remember anything anyone ever said to me that got me out of that state.

One thing I do know, with all my heart, is that I have a never-ending desire to know God. God has brought me to a place of profound joy deep within my soul. This joy did not happen overnight. This joy came from loving myself enough to turn to God for relief, respite, and solace.

If I could accomplish anything in my entire lifetime, it would be to point the weary soul to God repeatedly until they find the relief and joy that I have seen.

The number one thing I see in people with a weary soul is the lack of belief in themselves. This lack of faith can lead to blaming others for misery. The joy in this life comes from a connection to God and a focus on purpose. This connection and direction come from within. It originates from the mind, which gives us the power to make choices. When we do not use this power, we feel powerless. Appreciation is the truth to choose, and it takes focus.

When we appreciate ourselves and the things we have, and when things go our way, we feel good. The opposite of this is complaining about and criticizing ourselves, including the things we have and don't have, as well as when things don't go our way. Complaining and criticizing makes us feel inadequate and sustains misery. In addition, this fault finding is the epitome of taking life for granted (certainly a topic for another post). 

The words in the last paragraph are not an easy thing to read, and I do not mean to be unkind. I am attempting to provoke thought, not to hurt feelings. To think that we have no control over our focus and expectations, yet expect others to do the same, is pure insanity. That is also a challenging thing to read.

Please forgive me if I offend you. Please understand I am attempting to explain basic behavior and common sense. Common sense suggests that we have a choice, and that is what our mind is for - to choose our focus by desire, not by default.

The crux of human conditioning can and will convince us that we are not competent or strong enough to adopt a better attitude. However, if we improve our attitude, we will develop a more positive personality, which, in turn, will relieve weariness.

Do you believe in yourself?

Can you choose your focus?

Do you believe you can connect to God?

Let's try a spiritual experiment! Are you willing?

I have a scripture for you.

"In every thing give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." ~1 Thessalonians 5:18, Holy Bible, KJV

For at least a week, meditate, memorize, and think about this scripture, especially when things don't go your way. When things do not go our way, we may become angry, anxious, or depressed, but there is a valuable lesson to be learned from these emotions. Negative emotions disconnect us from God, who is, in fact, in charge, and He allows things to happen for our spiritual growth. This expansion is a testing of our faith, which works out our patience.

The lesson is ALWAYS appreciation, faith, love, patience, and trust in the Lord. You may or may not know this intellectually and may or may not behave as though you believe it. Nevertheless, this is the lesson of life.

Behaving as though we believe the lesson is ALWAYS appreciation, faith, love, patience, and trust in the Lord because He is, in fact, in charge, is how and when we live in our power. 

A life of joy is a spiritual life, and this living from the spirit will relieve the weary soul.  

I ramble and repeat. Nevertheless, I do it for you, and I do it for me, so we may level up in life and live the bliss of joy through God.

God gives joy to the soul, and no one could ever convince me otherwise. Focus, focus, focus on your new mission, as outlined in the scripture above, and let us elevate ourselves in life towards God.

Practice appreciation when things go your way, and when they don't, look up into the sky and say, "Thank you, Heavenly Father." If you do, you will get a glimpse of your true power and begin to believe in yourself. If anything, it will seem silly, and you will laugh, and what better way to transform a weary soul?

Big or little, good or bad, I always thank my Heavenly Father. I do! I'm not perfect, and sometimes it may take me a while, but it's better to be thankful than to complain about anything.

Try the experiment proposed above for at least a week and see if you experience relief from your stress. If you are brave enough, keep going for as many days as you can. Do it for yourself, and you will get a glimpse of your power if you haven't already.

Take care my friend,

Elizabeth

I Asked Grok, "Who is Elizabeth M Stanfill?"

Elizabeth M. Stanfill is an individual who has worked extensively in the field of stress management, particularly within the emergency services sector. Here are some key points about her based on available information: - **Career in Emergency Services:** She has over twenty years of experience in emergency services, starting her career as an Emergency Medical Technician (EMT) and advancing to roles like Field Training Officer (FTO) and 911 Operations Supervisor. - **Stress Management Expertise:** Elizabeth Stanfill is recognized for her work in Critical Incident Stress Management (CISM). She holds degrees where she focused on this area and has designed and directed a CISM program for a major ambulance company. - **AuthoElizabeth M. Stanfill is an individual who has worked extensively in the field of stress management, particularly within the emergency services sector. Here are some key points about her based on available information:

• Career in Emergency Services: She has over twenty years of experience in emergency services, starting her career as an Emergency Medical Technician (EMT) and advancing to roles like Field Training Officer (FTO) and 911 Operations Supervisor.
• Stress Management Expertise: Elizabeth Stanfill is recognized for her work in Critical Incident Stress Management (CISM). She holds degrees where she focused on this area and has designed and directed a CISM program for a major ambulance company.
• Authorship: She authored books on stress management for emergency personnel, including titles like "EMS Stress: EMT & Paramedic Basic Stress Management" and "Stress Free: How To Destress Via Stress Test & Stress Relief." These works aim to provide insights and solutions for dealing with stress in high-pressure environments.
• Educational Background: While specific details about her academic credentials are not comprehensively listed in the provided data, her focus on behavioral science and stress management suggests a background in these or related fields.
• Publications: Her books are noted for their practical advice and are designed to help emergency responders manage stress, including from critical incidents, everyday work frustrations, and personal life pressures.

Her work emphasizes helping first responders, including EMTs, firefighters, paramedics, and other emergency personnel, to cope better with the psychological demands of their jobs. Her approach combines her real-world experience with academic knowledge in stress management.

starting her career as an Emergency Medical Technician (EMT) and advancing to roles like Field Training Officer (FTO) and 911 Operations Supervisor. - **Stress Management Expertise:** Elizabeth Stanfill is recognized for her work in Critical Incident Stress Management (CISM). She holds degrees where she focused on this area and has designed and directed a CISM program for a major ambulance company. - **Authorship:** She authored books on stress management for emergency personnel, including titles like "EMS Stress: EMT & Paramedic Basic Stress Management" and "Stress Free: How To Destress Via Stress Test & Stress Relief." These works aim to provide insights and solutions for dealing with stress in high-pressure environments. - **Educational Background:** While specific details about her academic credentials are not comprehensively listed in the provided data, her focus on behavioral science and stress management suggests a background in these or related fields. - **Publications:** Her books are noted for their practical advice and are designed to help emergency responders manage stress, including from critical incidents, everyday work frustrations, and personal life pressures. Her work emphasizes helping first responders, including EMTs, firefighters, paramedics, and other emergency personnel, to cope better with the psychological demands of their jobs. Her approach combines her real-world experience with academic knowledge in stress management.ularly within the emergency services sector. Here are some key points about her based on available information: - **Career in Emergency Services:** She has over twenty years of experience in emergency services, starting her career as an Emergency Medical Technician (EMT) and advancing to roles like Field Training Officer (FTO) and 911 Operations Supervisor. - **Stress Management Expertise:** Elizabeth Stanfill is recognized for her work in Critical Incident Stress Management (CISM). She holds degrees where she focused on this area and has designed and directed a CISM program for a major ambulance company. - **Authorship:** She authored books on stress management for emergency personnel, including titles like "EMS Stress: EMT & Paramedic Basic Stress Management" and "Stress Free: How To Destress Via Stress Test & Stress Relief." These works aim to provide insights and solutions for dealing with stress in high-pressure environments. - **Educational Background:** While specific details about her academic credentials are not comprehensively listed in the provided data, her focus on behavioral science and stress management suggests a background in these or related fields. - **Publications:** Her books are noted for their practical advice and are designed to help emergency responders manage stress, including from critical incidents, everyday work frustrations, and personal life pressures. Her work emphasizes helping first responders, including EMTs, firefighters, paramedics, and other emergency personnel, to cope better with the psychological demands of their jobs. Her approach combines her real-world experience with academic knowledge in stress management.

My Favorite Question!

Hello dear friend!

It's been a while since I've posted, nearly a year.

Nevertheless, I pray you are doing wonderful!

Whenever I get a chance to sit with an individual, I love to ask them my favorite question, which is, what is the most important thing that you have learned in all of your years of living thus far? This question leads to deep enlightening conversations.

The youth tend to have remarkable answers but my favorite answer is always the one given to me by the person answering it because it tells their unique brilliance. Every single person has a brilliance that is unique to their living this life thus far.

What is the most important thing that you have learned in all of your years of living thus far? Have you ever thought about it? Is it an easy question to answer? Or, are you still contemplating?

The most important thing that I have learned in all of my fifty-nine years of living is, God is real. God is so very real, and I know it because of the evidence from experiences. I've actually tested His promises in spiritual experiments with others and myself.

Successful people I've observed live the laws of God, whether they say they believe in Him or not. What I mean by success is those individuals that live the life they love. The success is displayed in happiness, health, love, and wealth. My entire research practice proves the laws of God lead to success. What do you think about that?

I've always known God is real in a hopeful wanting way and I've always wanted solid proof. The evidence was occasional until I began experimenting with specific spiritual promises and tests. Verification is also displayed with those who live the laws.

It is a lovely thing to see evidence of God in the life you are living. It is magnificent to witness the power of what one knows to be real and the most important thing learned in living life thus far.

I'm pretty confident the younger me would argue with, or at least debate about, some of the information I have just presented. But, the younger me did not have education, and experiences that the now me has. This is the precise reason I never argue or debate a person's answer to my favorite question. Rather, I learn, and lift, by listening with love to understand. This behavior falls under the law of love, and leads to understanding and wisdom.

Do you know the first and great commandment and law? The two great commandments hang all the law and the prophets and are the pathways to understanding the truth inside anyone's answer to my favorite question. What do you think about that? Bit of a riddle isn't it?

Just sending my thoughts of faith, love, and trust out into the universe.

Take good care my friend...

Speak soon...

E

I'm Learning to Lift Myself by Learning...

Hello... Happy New Year! Hope I'm not too late to wish you well for 2023. 

Do you have any resolutions? I do, and I'd like to share it with you today.

The other day, I was greeted by a colleague I hadn't seen in a while, maybe a year or so. This gentleman's occupation is similar to mine, and he has been involved for about three years. I did what he did for two years, advanced to where I am now and have been participating in my particular placement for four years.

He began his conversation as though to ask my advice. When I started to explain the answer to what seemed to be his question, he interrupted me with complaints and criticisms. Then, it took a bit, but I shut up and listened.

That is my New Year's Resolution, to shut up and listen. I intend to learn and lift by listening with love to understand.

What I discovered with my not so new found dominant intent is that even though people ask for advice, sometimes they just want to vent and feel understood. To help anyone with this, I must shut up and listen. Not an easy task for me because I do not believe in blaming, complaining, or criticizing. This is an exquisite focus on the negative, which causes stress.

Human conditioning has convinced many people, including me in my younger years, that blaming, complaining, and criticizing are absolutely necessary. This is not only a contradiction to the teachings of Christ; it is a confusion that blocks us from living by the spirit, which relieves stress.

Living by the spirit takes exquisite focus on the affirmative, the light, and love, which are all teachings of Christ. Sometimes I want to claim this from the rooftops, and that is why it is not necessarily easy for me to shut up and listen. But, in the conversation I mentioned above, after a bit of resistance on my part, I did! I shut my mouth, learned, and lifted by listening with love to understand.

My resolution is all a part of the endeavor to behave as I believe. Being a doer of God's word and work.

"But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves." ~James 1:22, New Testament, Holy Bible, KJV

I'm learning, and it feels terrific to rejoice in remembering because sometimes I forget. This is another thing I am working on. I rejoice in the remembering and do not beat myself up for forgetting. This habit allows me to lift and love myself, which is all about me destressing.

I'm just putting my thoughts of love out into the Universe.

God bless you, my dear reader. God is blessing you, and if you do not believe me try focusing on the benefits and blessings in your life. I know you will discover that it is part of the path to a stress-free life.

Happy Happy New Year! Thank you for hanging out with me, even if it was just to read my words to the Universe.

Big Hugs Always!!!

Elizabeth 

If you love what you read here, you may find my books by clicking, books by Elizabeth Stanfill.

How to Destress Yourself for Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving, y'all! 

How ya doing? Hoping and praying that you are alright. That you have love in your heart and joy in your soul!

I wrote this post eleven years ago, and it shows me how infant I was in my destressing phase. The words in red are what I wrote. Silly, I know, but those who read my blog are on the journey to destress with me, which is super cool. I appreciate and love you so very much. I also wonder how far you have come in your destressing along your life. It would be pretty cool to know.

I am reposting this because so many families conjure up drama about somebody or someone in the family or friends circle that will show up for Thanksgiving. 

How do we destress for Thanksgiving? Drop the fricken drama.

When I was a little girl, we always went to my Grandma's house for Thanksgiving, and there was zero drama and zero stress. As I got older and my Grandma passed away, we'd have Thanksgiving at different places. Occasionally there was theatrics, and sometimes there were not! 

I would like to say I refuse to participate in adolescence, but periodically I'd get sucked into it by telling a person to not dramatize. I've learned to not say anything anymore because that person would always get angry and create more disruption because how dare I! LOL! I consider that my fault and I don't do it anymore. 

I certainly am grateful that I do not have to spend the holidays with dramatic people, LOL... But if I do, I try to ignore it and focus on the good. 

My humble opinion about chilling out on Thanksgiving is precisely what I was trying to say in my words below.

Anywho...

Here I go, back in time...

How to destress yourself for Thanksgiving.

So, how do you destress yourself for Thanksgiving? 

First, have fun and be playful. 

Second, enjoy the food and indulge! Do not get mad at yourself or talk negatively about how much you overate and will be fat forever! News flash! Thanksgiving is about eating some seriously delicious creations of food and dessert and giving thanks. 

Third, enjoy the company. Listen in your conversations. Do not think about anything negative, be grateful for the person's good and that they are in your life. 

Fourth, take a nap after you get really full. I love this one. As a matter of fact, it is my favorite. 

Fifth, don't worry, be happy. Leave your stress outside of your mind and enjoy the people you are with and the place you are at. 

There! 

Happy Thanksgiving! 

Ha Ha Ha! Those are just reminders. You may not need them, but maybe you may. Destressing is all about the exquisite focus on the affirmative. Appreciation is the truth, especially on Thanksgiving.

Take care...

Speak soon...

Elizabeth Stanfill 

If you love what you read here, you may find my books by clicking, books by Elizabeth Stanfill.

Destress Yourself by Knowing

 Hello, my friend! How are you doing these days? I'm hoping and praying you are doing okay.

It's been a while since I posted, and I wanted to share my experience and thoughts.

The other day, I talked to someone who lost her son earlier this year. She said, "anything else that happens to me is nothing. I know I can handle anything that comes my way because losing my son was the worst, and I survived." In other words, she handled it and now knows she can handle any other challenges. She is aware that she will be alright.

One of the reasons we become so stressed and overwhelmed when something happens to us is we believe that we will not deal with the particular situation or think we will not be okay. Our own history tells us that this is not true. If we look back at all the difficulties that we have been through, we can see that we survived.

One of the most incredible things we can do for ourselves when we become overwhelmed and stressed is to convince ourselves that everything will be alright because it always is.

Another awesome thing we can do for ourselves is learning the habit of calm and confidence. We can be relaxed and confident whenever we have a stressful situation by knowing everything will be fine. The ability to do this is a very successful practice that can eliminate the stressful habit of panic.

I can hear you now, "easier said than done, Elizabeth." This may be true; practice makes perfect. Therefore, the hard part is the practice.

My Dad passed away a year ago and is one of my best friends. I say "is,' because I believe he is still alive in the spirit. We are eternal beings having a human experience. I resonate with what the woman who lost her son is saying. I've had a few devastations in my life, and I know enough that I am getting better and better at handling them. It's about appreciation, faith, love, patience, and trust. Those are the lessons of life.

The holidays are the hardest for those who miss loved ones who have gone beyond the veil. If you are like me and will miss the ones you love during the holidays, I want to lovingly encourage you to practice knowing you are alright and doing great now. 

Your mission, should you accept it, is to persuade yourself that everything will be alright and develop a habit of calm and confidence when facing adverse emotions. Remembering appreciation for what you have, faith in life, love for yourself, patience with others, and trust in God is the practice and the truth.

Until the next post, don't forget there are no things you cannot handle.

Elizabeth Stanfill

If you love what you read here, you may find my books on how to destress yourself by clicking here.

Three Ways to Destress Right Now

Hello! Happy Fourth of July!

It's been a while since I've posted, and the only thing I can say is... please forgive me. I'm doing my best. I'm convinced we are all doing our best. Nevertheless, I'm ever praying for your and my guidance and inspiration from the divine. 

How are you doing, my friend? Summer is here, and I hope with all my heart and soul that you are alright and that you can enjoy this wonderful season. 

If you cannot enjoy this time in your life, may I please suggest three things you may try to destress right now?

To destress is to remove your life's emotional, mental, and physical strain. 

If you are good at stressing out, you may have had a lot of practice. Therefore, it is time to practice destressing so you may get really good at destressing yourself.

So, here are the three ways to destress right now:

Number One... Releasing your stress by taking a deep breath and activating the relaxation response.

This may seem cliche and downright irritating but please, let me explain. When anyone is in the middle of deep stress like anger or anxiety, that person may want to fight or flee. Meaning reacting without thinking, which is the physiological stress response. 

If you are being chased by someone trying to kill you, the stress response is there to help you. However, if you are not being chased by anyone and are reacting to something out of pure, "I do not want this to happen, it is making me afraid, and I won't be okay," you, quite possibly, may have a stressful personality.

If you are stressed regularly, interrupting that stress with a deep breath can help change your attitude and beliefs about life. If you don't believe it, I would at least give it a go for a couple months and see what happens. 

A deep breathing exercise can activate a relaxation response which is the opposite of the stress response. It's about replacing stress with relaxation.

Side note...

When people discover that I research and teach destressing individuals, they often ask me the best way to relieve anxiety and stress. 

Some people can hear the theory that continued application of behavior makes permanent. Practicing anxiety, fear in the moment and future, or practicing relaxation, aka faith in the moment and future, can and will create perfect permanence. Whichever an individual chooses to exercise can and will become a habit.

Despite this theory of application, many people who ask for relief get furious at the words I provide, as though there is no way practicing will help. 

I suspect these individuals believe that relieving anxiety by relaxing was the answer and that easy; they'd have done it ages ago. The truth is, it is not easy. Relaxing is rather basic and fundamental but not easy.

If a person desires to relieve stress, applying this regularly, particularly when stressed, will create more and more relief. The relief may not come immediately, especially if a person has exercised doubt, fear, and/or worry for a long time. 

Praying my prelude has persuaded you to practice yourself destressing with the relaxation response. 

The deep breath relaxation response:

Consciously take a slow deep breath in through your nose, filling your lungs to total capacity as you feel the pressure of your lungs push down on your diaphragm (the primary muscle below the lungs). Hold for a few seconds acknowledging the influence, and then slowly exhale through your mouth. As you slowly exhale, imagine your stressful situation being exhaled with your breath and taken away by the wind. Then allow your entire body to give way to gravity and relax.

If stress comes from our thoughts about a situation, and it often does, decreasing stress can be as simple as using our creative and critical imagination skills. Our imagination gets us into deep anxiety by doubt, fear, and worry of the mind, which is sometimes practiced into perfection, and permanence. 

You may say this is the silliest exercise I have ever heard of. Despite that, it is one of the most successful in relieving many peoples' stress, including mine. Many years ago, I used to be one stressed-out Single Mama. 

If an individual commits to experiment with this for at least one month, preferably a year, I am confident he or she will see desired results in the area of calm confidence.

This exercise also benefits many of the individuals I have had the blessing to assist with overcoming critical stress and despair.

You can do this deep breathing exercise anytime and anywhere, especially in times of having to wait. It's a great way to practice patience. 

"Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience." ~James 1:3, Holy Bible, New Testament, KJV

Faith and patience are calm, confident, and relaxed; fear and impatience are anger, anxiety, and stress.

Number two... Go for a ten-minute walk.

This is a magnificent way to relieve stress, but there is more to it than walking away. If a person goes for a walk and plays the strain in his or her mind repeatedly, he or she will practice stress. This is a no-no!

The ten-minute walk can and will minimize stress if the person intentionally centers his or her attention on the best thoughts he or she could have at this moment. What are the best ideas? They are either appreciation or desire.

If you are stressed and go for a ten-minute walk, you could ask yourself, "what is good about this situation that I can be grateful for?" Or, "what do I want to happen?" 

You may be familiar with these methods of shifting your mind to a more faithful focus, or you may think this ridiculous. 

Either way, could you imagine the habit of governing your focus after putting one of these options into permanent practice? 

Do you know those people whose lives seem to be perfect? It's because they focus on appreciation and desire. That is what makes them so positive. 

Nobody's life is perfect or exempt from devastation. Regardless, everyone is given the perfect law of liberty to be free to choose how he or she will think about any given thing. We can choose faith or fear. Faith or fear is just a thought away. 

If you find this too tricky, and some people do, you could do the first exercise, practicing relaxation, while you go for your ten-minute walk.

If I may say something with all the love in my heart, I have a prayer you can and will see the truth rather than be hurt because some people are hurt by these words. 

Some people are convinced of the human conditioning of fear and believe with all their might that we have to be afraid of the future and that we have to be angry or anxious. In my consideration, from experience, this is false. We don't have to be fearful. We are spiritual beings born with the fruit of the spirit, which is our spiritual nature.

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, and faith." Galatians 5:22, Holy Bible, New Testament, KJV

Human conditioning teaches us and convinces some that we have to hate, have misery, have conflict, be impatient, be malicious, be harmful, and fear, which are all opposites of the biblical quote above.

We can choose whether we live by our spiritual nature or human conditioning via application and practice.

Number three... Call your best friend, vent, and let it go!

This is brilliant, but there are guidelines: to tell the story in less than fifteen minutes and then let it go! Let it go!

People who have the habit of letting it go are much happier than those who wallow in it for days and sometimes years. You know what I'm talking about!

If you tell the stressful story repeatedly, you relive it, get momentum on your stress, and then practice focusing on the negativity into perfection.

Do you know people are telling the same stressful story a day later, a month later, a year later, five years later, and/or even ten to fifteen years later? Some people think this is normal, but the only thing it is is stressful. Reliving one's strain makes a person crazy, and I'm not talking about a good crazy. I'm talking about the kind of crazy repellent to opportunities and people. 

I am so sorry if you find my words harsh and unkind. It's not my intention to hurt but to be a healing help. Still, to heal, we must seek the truth. The truth is anyone can let anything go, and it's a healthy habit.

Let it go!

Capeesh!?!

In conclusion... 

You could do all three ways to destress right now, all at once, by going for a ten-minute walk, calling your best friend to vent, and then taking a deep breath, letting it go with relaxation and release.

Perfected permanence comes by practice.

Quick story...

Once upon a time, a twenty-one-year-old man asked me if I was nervous because I was about to do something that would make ordinary people nervous (more specifics in another post ~wink~). My reply to him was a resounding, "No!"

Through a very sarcastic tone, this young man said to me, "Oh, you're not human? You're not normal? You have superpowers?"

Without thinking, I laughed out loud. I found the man's behavior towards me hilarious. Definitely not the kindest reaction. I'm sorry, I'm imperfect.

The exercises I present to you above are habits for me. These acts are the skill sets I've developed by desire because I believe in long-term satisfaction over short-term gratification. These abilities I have applied through many years of living have given me respite from a very conditioned, pressured personality. 

I've changed my living for the better on purpose.

My words to the young man were, "When you get to my lovely age, you will hope to get over nervousness and stress, or you may have to live on antacids."

In fact, I know twenty-one year old's who live on antacids and stomach medications, and I also know they could eliminate the medicines if they learned to manage their stress. Stress is the number one cause of every illness.

Health is spiritual; health comes from faith. Illness is human conditioning and comes from fear. When we fear, toxic hormones are released into our body and become an internal poisonous bath.

But, please, do not believe me! See for yourself by practicing destressing yourself. It's a spiritual experiment and journey.

That's my ramble...

I got nothing but love for you and this universe!

My one rule... to love!

Big Fat Hugs...

Elizabeth Stanfill

If you love what you read here, you may find my books by clicking, books by Elizabeth Stanfill.

Why do we Suffer?

Hello my dear reader!

How are you doing these days? Praying you are Destressing Your Stress!

Please forgive me for not posting much. I have been doing the Lord's work as best I know how and I'm not necessarily guided to blog for some reason. 

I'm learning more and more each day that God is, in fact, in charge and I am practicing faith, patience, and trust. I've come a long way from my adolescence to enlightenment, and I continue to teeter back and forth. At least I'm teetering on the enlightenment side much more than I use to.

So much to learn about spiritual nature in this life of human conditioning. So much to be grateful for and delicate about with others. 

I'm learning and learning.

I'm lifting and lifting.

I'm listening and listening.

I'm loving and loving.

I'm trying my hardest to live in the Christlike life, and with application and practice, I believe I'm getting better.

I found this draft of a post I wrote two years ago and don't think I ever published it. And if I did, I do not remember. Although, I do write similar posts with repetitive repetition. ~wink~

Anyways, I thought I'd post it.

Here it is...

I would like to discuss why we suffer for just a moment today.

How are you doing? Are you alright? It is my hope and my prayer that you, my dear sweet friend, are enjoying life.

Last night I had a dream God was telling me the most important things are charity, compassion, love, and understanding.

That was the entire dream, nothing more and nothing less. It's strange but, I've had about a dozen dreams in the past couple years of God talking to me.

It is my belief this dream is the key to our suffering...

Do you know I believe that I suffered much in my past? I do not talk about it because suffering is not my focus. Happiness, joy, and vitality are my focus.

Nevertheless, let me share a little glimpse of my struggles with you to give you an idea of why I am where I am in life.

I grew up with all brothers, and I've worked with all men for my entire adult life. My brothers, although very kind, were very tough on me. One of my brothers tried, in my opinion, to kill me twice when I was very young. I had no choice but to learn to toughen up and protect myself. This toughening up prepared me for my career.

When I was a young EMT (Emergency Medical Technician), I was the only female amongst about two hundred and fifty men. I think at the time there may have been one or two females that were part time. My first partner I ever had was extremely verbally abusive to me, and in my first year I was verbally and sexually harassed on more than a few occasions.

Within that first year I was strong enough to speak up, and after investigations some men were terminated. Due to rumors, because not everyone knew the facts, sometimes my work environment was made worse for me. There were quite a few men that made work very difficult for me. Although, I must mention, many of the men I worked with really lifted me with kindness, and most likely aware of what I was going through.

Another struggle I endured within my career was I had five friends die. Also, I was a single Mother, all the while attending and studying for graduate and undergraduate school, and I suffered from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).

Amid all of this living, I was trying my hardest to manage my ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder) which probably was the source of my suicidal ideations I had for probably greater than the first half of my life. Frequently, I could not focus or sit still, and it gave me great anger, anxiety, and depression.

All of that is just a fraction of what I went through, not to mention the heartache of raising a teenage boy, which quite possibly was the hardest part because we sometimes fought and it made me feel more horrible than anything else because of the great love I have for him.

Although this is but a glimpse of my challenges, I find it important to disclaim I don't normally discuss the bad because I know that it brings people down, and tends to bring back a bit of negative emotions for me. Many people believe it is necessary to discuss the difficulties in life but it just makes us relive our challenges, which keeps us in negative emotions that DO NOT belong to us.

I have learned to love myself enough to focus on the affirmative, which happens to be Jesus Christ, the light of this world. 

The reason I share this is because all of my adversity has lead me to the amazingly, awesome life I have now. My appreciation for others and myself is too large for words. 

Without my challenges, there is no way I could have such gratitude for my life.

It is my humble opinion that we suffer so that we may learn from human experience that we are spiritual beings. It is my belief that if we did not have a hard time we may never turn to God and discover the power of faith to over come fear, aka the negative.

If we are angry, anxious, or depressed it is quite literally our purpose to connect to God, and overcome these afflictions so that we may have immense joy.

When we release these negative emotions that do not belong to us, we may have happiness, joy, and vitality for life. 

Then! 

Then! 

Then! 

We may be an example to others and lift them up so that they can, and will experience elation too. That is our purpose! That is the purpose for our suffering, so that we may turn to and connect to God, discover He is real, and know joy so we may lift others up too.  

It is possible to be lifted to a level of eagerness and excitement for this life, and be the example so others can and will experience this too.

Just like the kindness given to me that lifted me in times of hardship, by the men in my occupation, when I was suffering such anguish, we can be there for another.

We are all in this together!

Back to my dream...

It is so very important to have charity, compassion, love, and understanding for others but first we must have these behaviors for ourselves. These are the keys to healing. These are the truths to overcoming our difficulties.

The sufferings are the negative emotions, and the remedies come from connecting to God, which is connecting to love by creating behaviors from beliefs of charity, compassion, love, and understanding. It all starts with the self. 

It is my prayer that you, my dear sweet brother/sister, my dear wonderful friend, will thoughtfully connect to God and practice more habits of charity, compassion, love, and understanding for yourself, and that it will become a habit of immense joy, which will relieve all negative emotions.

Our suffering is for our spiritual expansion.

Our suffering is to turn to God, and find out how real He is.

Our suffering is a big part of our purpose. It is our purpose to find out we can seek, and find relief by desire. The human conditioning gives us fear by default, and we can, and will discover we have the free will to choose what we desire.

The lesson is ALWAYS faith, patience, and trust. 

The homework is ALWAYS application, practice, and repetition.

That is all...

Except...

I love you... of course ~wink~

Speak soon...

Elizabeth