Stress Test & Free eBook

Hello there my friend...

How are you doing this day?

Ever praying for your comfort and joy...

Have you ever taken my stress test?

I created this stress test to help raise awareness to some stressful habits a person may have.

This is not a diagnosis tool or a psychology test, it is a test I developed many years ago to help identify stressful behavior. 

This survey was not developed via hard research, and the stressful habits presented are not in any particular order.  These are THE STRESSFUL HABITS that have been brought to my attention via survey from the many classes I have taught to relieve stress.

This is for adventure, education, and enjoyment.

So, enjoy...

ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS BY CHOOSING A NUMBER BETWEEN 1 AND 5. (1)NEVER (2) ALMOST NEVER (3) OCCASIONALLY (4) FREQUENTLY (5) ALL THE TIME

1. Do you worry?

2. Do you experience a racing mind?

3. Are you angry moody or irritable?

4. Do you lose your temper or become impatient easily?

5. Do you have trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, or getting essential hours of sleep because you can't stop thinking of things you have to do or because you have too much going on in your life?

6. Do you binge on or are you addicted to a certain activity, food, caffeine, tobacco, alcohol, or any form of pharmaceutical, over the  counter, or illegal drug?

7. Are you in a hurry?

8. Do you set simple goals or continuously tell yourself you are going to do something and don't do it?

9. Do you feel like you are in a constant state of going nowhere?

10. Do you notice that it is important to you or you spend a lot of energy proving you are right, or things should be done the "right way", your way?

11. Do you frequently complain about people, places, and things?

12. Do you get offended easily and/or talk negatively about other people?

13. Are you unable to enjoy yourself even when you are doing something you enjoy?

Add up your results...

If you would like to utilize a truth scale, ask someone, who knows you really well, to take this test on your behalf, and then compare answers.

Okay...

1-13 a very destressed person

14-25 almost always destressed

26-38 more often destressed than stressed

39-52 you need to destress yourself

53- 65 you seriously need to destress yourself

If you chose 5 for any of the questions above, you may want to destress that particular habit.

For example, if you answered a 5 on number 6, you may want to overcome and eliminate the very stressful habit of addiction.

This stress test is part of my first book, "How to Destress Via Stress Test & Stress Relief". If you haven't read it, and would like to, Amazon is promoting the eBook free this Sunday, September 29, 2019.

Grab your free copy by clicking here.

Or

Stay tuned for updated posts on how to destress the stressful habits in the stress test. I've come a long way since I wrote that book in 2013, and I'd like to revisit each stressful habit with what I have learned since.

Wonderful day to you dear one...

Speak soon...

Elizabeth

Happy Birthday to Me

Hey! Hey!

How are you doing today?

It is my birthday, and I am 55, still alive. Double nickles!

At this very moment it is the day before my birthday but I'm compelled to write this post and send it out tomorrow, on my real birthday. But, I'll be on the beach meditating, napping, and swimming in the waves in between. The perks of living in Southern California.

Any who! I just wanted to share something dear and near in my heart that I have learned in my fifty five years of living and that is...

God is very real!

I know that this is so because I talk and walk with Him every single day of my life. I know Him because I know love.

"And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in Him," ~1 John 4:16, New Testament, Holy Bible, KJV

Another thing that is in my heart and I know for sure is it is absolutely possible to release the negative emotions like anger, anxiety, depression, and despair through this love, through God.

"But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible." ~Matthew 19:26, New Testament, Holy Bible, KJV

When a person releases their negative emotions that stem from the human conditioning, which teaches us fear, a person can live a life of calm, confidence, and connection to God through faith, which is very much love.

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love." ~1 John 4:18, The New Testament, Holy Bible, KJV

The opposite of fear is faith, and I believe that perfect faith is love, which casts out fear. I think the opposite of love is torment, which is felt through anger, anxiety, and depression.

Anger is fear that one will not be okay if he or she doesn't get his or her way. But that person can and will be okay if he or she connects to God, to love.

Anxiety is fear of the future; fear created by the thoughts of doubt, fear, and worry, of the worst thing that may happen. But a person can and will overcome anxiety if he or she connects to God, to love.

Depression is fear that a person is not, and will not be good enough. But everyone is good enough and can, and will see the truth of their value and worth when he or she connects to God, to love. 

It takes practice and prayer, daily practice of prayers, and in loving the self and others, to overcome the fears of the world.

When we put our energy into talking and walking with God, eternal things become more important than earthly things. The human conditioning gives us the illusion that earthly things will make us happy, when the truth is that eternal love, our connection to God, is pure bliss. 

Everyone is reaching for calm, confidence, and connection to God, which gives way to unconditional love. Everyone wants to feel unconditional love but we cannot find it in earthly things. It is an illusion of the human conditioning.

That's all I got for my birthday ramble and what I know and have learned in my fifty five years here on earth.

I have cried every day, all my life. The tears that flowed the first half of my life were to rid of the suffering that did not belong to me. The tears that flow now are from the overwhelming feelings of bliss from the love that I feel from my connection to God.

There is no greater thing than talking and walking with God. That is the purpose of life really, to reconnect with and know God. That is the spiritual expansion we are here to obtain.

I love you dear friend.

I love you with all my heart and soul.

I am ever praying for your connection to God and the blissful feelings of His unconditional love.

Take good care...

Speak soon...

Elizabeth

Leveling Up On Faith

Hoodie Hoo Boogaboo!

Leveling up on faith is what I'd like to discuss this day.

How are you doing? Did you read my last post, Increasing Habits of Faith? 

Hopefully you did because I issued a thirty day challenge on increasing habits of faith. 

If you didn't read it, and you'd really like to work on overcoming feelings of insecurity, I'd check it out and take the challenge.

If you did read it, and you aren't doing the work, maybe because you don't think it will work, I want to assist in a little persuasion. 

Please allow me to provoke some thoughts.

I'm about to say something that some people with anger, anxiety, depression, or despair won't like to hear, quite possibly because they disagree. 

Please forgive me in advance. 

Please have an open mind. 

Please know that I have been an agent in God's hands for healing and helping people for many, many, many years, and I come from a place of love. You know this is true especially if you've been reading this blog for a while, read one of my books, or we've talked in person.

So I begin...

First, and foremost, anger, anxiety, and depression are based on a conditioned and practiced fear, into insecurity. Therefore, these emotions have great momentum if we have practiced anyone of them everyday, and for many years.

We humans, much like animals, are conditioned with habits. The difference between the animals and humans is, we have the intellect to choose our actions, feelings, and thoughts over our training. 

Due to the fact that we aren't necessarily taught to choose our habitual behavior, much of it is done by default. 

Second, the practice of doubt, fear, and worry, for many years, which creates anger, anxiety, depression, and despair, is done in a similar way as the practice I presented in the last post. It's a conditioning exercise.

Doubt, fear, and worry are all about what a person does not want. 

Chronic stress is caused by many years of focusing on these unwanted things. This long term focus creates habitual feelings of insecurity.

The thirty day challenge presented is a way to evolve that focus on fear by default into focus on possibilities by desire, by using creativity, and the intellect.

We are not here to be afraid of the future, become more bitter, and lose our creativity of our mind by patterns and practices done by default.

We are here to focus on our desires so that we may discover our dreams and have passion and purpose in our life.

Living a happy, lovely life is all about the focus, and we can use the blessing of our mind to create patterns and practices of faithful, and hopeful thoughts, which will govern our performance here on earth.

"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." ~1 Timothy 6, The New Testament, The Holy Bible, KJV

One of my favorite scriptures!

Our power, love and a sound mind are gifts from God, and I issued a challenge, in my last writing, that will point a person in the direction of using these gifts.

Bam! Shockuh Lockuh!

Hoodie Hoo Booga Boo!

I know, I'm silly... 

But! I love you...

Have a great day, and please consider the challenge, won't you?

Speak soon...

Elizabeth

Destressing Insanity

Hello! Hello!

How are you my dear sweet friend?

Praying a special prayer that you are super duper allie ooper, and that you are having tons of fun!

I just wanna discuss insanity for a moment. Actually, my insanity...

When I was a younger me I use to complain, criticize, dramatize, and gossip. 

Yup! I did...

It was crazy because I didn't want people to complain about me or criticize me yet I was complaining about and criticizing others. 

What's even crazier is I did not want drama, and I did not want other people gossiping about me yet I was creating drama, and gossiping about others. 

In other words, I was doing to others what I didn't want others doing to me. I was doing what I did not love. Also, I was bringing myself, and others down because of this behavior.

Now I know that, and I know that those were habits of reaction. So, I changed focus, and I created habits to replace the crazy ones.

Another thing, I don't necessarily want people all up in my business, and so I try my hardest to stay out of other peoples' business. 

I know, with all my heart and soul that my business is between God and me. What I do, say, and think has everything to do with God, and me. Therefore, I try my hardest to behave accordingly.

So... I have changed those crazy habits with much more fun ones. That's right! Matter of fact, I'm still in the process of changing them because I am human, I am imperfect, and I just keep on a practicing. 

And... I'm still crazy, just a different funner kind, ask anybody who knows me.

Are you complaining, criticizing, dramatizing, and gossiping?

These are all very stressful habits because of the focus on things that are unpleasant. The opposites would be appreciating, complimenting, and living in the present moment with confidence, which not only provides relief from stress but also lifts the environment in which one stands. 

Do you believe in the necessity of focusing on the unpleasant? If you do, that is your human right, and it is very human of you. (wink)

Do you also believe that we have a choice on what we focus on?

Whether a person believes we can choose what to focus on or not, we can. Human nature begs to focus on the emotionally negative aspects of this life which provokes fear, aka stress. Spiritual nature begs for focus on the details that will pursue faithfulness and fearlessness, aka unconditional love.

Practiced fear supplies anger, anxiety, and depression. Practiced faith creates calm, confidence, happiness, joy, vitality, and well-being. When we are practicing faithful and fearless focus we are lifting the environment, and it is impossible to bring anyone down, including the self.

Which will you choose? Faith or Fear? Stress or Well-Being?

Just some thoughts I wanted to throw your way...

Have a wonderful day my dear sweet friend.

God bless you...

I love you...

Elizabeth

Releasing Negative Emotions

Hello!!!

How are you doing my dear sweet friend? I pray that you are having the most wonderful time in your life. That is my prayer for you...

It has been a looooooooong time since I've had negative emotions like anger, anxiety, depression, doubt, fear, irritability, moodiness, or worry. I'm not talking about the normal everyday glimpses of mild negative emotions. I am talking about the I want to kill you anger, anxiety attack anxiety, and the want to die depression.

I know, without a doubt, what negative emotions feel like, why we have them, and how to release them. I'm an expert on negative emotions because I lived with them for years, and I'm an expert at releasing them because I haven't had them for years. Not only have I NOT had them, I've helped thousands of people, if not more, release and relieve them. I don't say those things to brag, I say them to convince you that I quite possibly may help you release your negative emotions.

Do you believe, as I believe, that we are born innocent beings straight from God with the desire to grow by learning, listening, and loving? Think about that one for a sec. You know when you hold or see a baby there is pure unconditional love, so eager to learn.

When we are born, I do not believe we have an ounce of negative emotions. It is the human experience and existence that teaches them to us.

Think about the negative emotion that you feel the most often. Is it anger, anxiety, depression, frustration, irritability, moodiness, or maybe insecurity? I'd venture to say you could look at your life experience and figure out who taught you that particular emotion.

The greatest thing about life is we can, and many do, go back to that innocent unconditional love that we were born with, and with all the knowledge that we/he/she has gained in life thus far. It is my humble opinion that is why we are here... to gain spiritual enlightenment by returning to the love that we are.

Okay, okay, ramble, ramble, lol, getting to releasing negative emotions.

One of the best things to know when one begins to release the negative emotions that don't belong to us is that they don't belong to us. We are not our negative emotions. We are so much more than that. We are eternal, spiritual beings having a human experience to gain and grow.

Knowledge is very helpful to healing.

So, I gotta mission for you... if you choose to accept it.

This is so very simple but may not be easy.

Here we go...

This week, when you are experiencing anger, anxiety, depression, insecurity, or any other dominant negative emotion, say to yourself, "This does not belong to me! This negative emotion does not belong to me!" Then, take a deep breath in and exhale, imagining you releasing the negative emotion.

Side note: you may not want to do or say this out loud (wink~wink). Just do and say it inside your head, secret like.

Do it for a week, and if it works, keep on a doing it. Life is a science project... hypothesize, experiment, and keep on a doing what works. Practice into permanence. Practice into a habit that is healing and healthy.

Practice destressing you!!!

Too simple? Good! It ought to be easy. It is effective, trust me on this. I have years of experience soothing people out of negative emotions in several unique capacities, and I've become really, really, really good at it and I know you can too for you!

Got it? 

Great! 

I've got a prayer held tight in my heart for you that you will venture this journey so that you may heal. 

I believe you can heal!

I know you can heal! My personal opinion because I know your value and your worth as a human and a spiritual being!

You Got This!!!

I LOVE YOU!!! (singing in my not so in tune opera voice)

God bless you Sugar!

Big Hugs!!!

Speak soon...

Elizabeth Stanfill 

If you love what you read here, you may find my books by clicking, books by Elizabeth Stanfill.

Letting Go of Stress

Hey! Happy New Year!

How was it? Did you enjoy bringing in the New Year? Did you start your New Year off right?

Well, I pray that your experience in bringing in the new year was perfect, and if not, let it be water under the bridge. That's an old saying for letting it go.

Stress is provoked by fear. Did you know that?

Doubts and worry about the future are fear, provoking stress.

Anger is the fear that one will not be okay if things don't go their way, and it provokes stress.

Anxiety is severe worry about future events, and it provokes stress.

Depression is practiced fear of not being good enough. Stress!

I understand that many people would disagree with my theories about emotions and fear, and that's alright.

I also understand that people don't want to hear certain things about themselves because it makes it seem like it's their fault, but it's not.

Negative emotions are never anyone's fault. Negative emotions are normal human behaviors and conditions.

So, if you're not mad at me for saying those things, I'd like to give you a way to release your negative emotions or at least minimize them if you'd like to.

A great way to minimize stress is practicing appreciation because when we are thankful, we focus on what is right in our lives rather than what is going wrong.

The scriptures say to be thankful for all things, which is one of the most brilliant pieces of advice.

It is my humble opinion that if God were to speak to us, He would tell us how great we are doing because He would focus on all the good we do. He would also tell us we are too hard on ourselves, which is the foundation of our negative emotions.

So! Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to practice appreciation more often and watch how things feel better. Just focus on what's right in others, your environment, and yourself.

That's it, except Happy New Year, my wonderful friend! And I pray you will have the most abundant and happy year yet!

God bless you!

I love you!

Take care. 

Elizabeth Stanfill 

If you love what you read here, please find my books by clicking, books by Elizabeth Stanfill.

Are You Happy?

Happiness is what I'd like to discuss this day...

Hello, my friend! How are you? Are you alright? My prayer, for you, is that you are happy and enjoying your life.

If you are not happy or enjoying life, I pray that this post will help you!

In my younger years, my emotional pain was like constant physical pain, always there, and I was unable to think about anything else.

You see... I had PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), and I had it for many, many years.

Before I began to heal my PTSD, I use to cry often because of my sorrows, and I use to get so angry over the littlest things. We are talking seriously violently angry, over the littlest things, and sometimes over things that weren't even there except for in the made-up story in my mind.

Now that I am older, more aware, better rather than bitter, and I specialize in destressing people, I see what use to be my younger miserable self in others. 

That anger, irritation, and moodiness that people have? Ya! That was me but now, I do not have an ounce of anger, anxiety, or depression. Matter of fact, I live without emotional pain 99.999% of the time.

You may not believe me when I say that I do not have anger, anxiety, or depression, and that is alright, I understand that because, in my younger painful years, I would have never believed anybody who said that either.

My declaration of the absence of negative emotions is not intended to boast of myself, it is intended, however, to convince you, the one that may be miserable that it is totally possible to live free of negative emotions.

When I was younger, I was so very good at anger, anxiety, and depression because I practiced it all day long, and every day.

When I began to meditate in 1999, I cultivated awareness, which ultimately showed me my negative thoughts and vocabulary. As I discovered my practiced negativity with awareness, I began to replace it with more meaningful thoughts and words.

Think about that for a minute...

First of all, long endured practice does make nearly perfect, doesn't it?

Everyone crawled until we walked, and then we walked until we ran. All of the people who run every day are nearly perfect at it, aren't they?

Just as with physical practice, emotional and mental practice cultivates near perfection as well.

What I am trying to say is... If you are unhappy, you may be practicing it frequently, and therefore you may be very good at it.

If you would like to create a happier life begin to practice being happy.

How do you practice happiness you ask? The answer is awareness. Are you aware of your unhappiness? Could you become more aware of intentionally being happier?

One of the best ways to design a happier life is to focus on what you are grateful for.

When I work with individuals who have depression or sadness, I tell them to write a list of thirty things they are happy about, every morning, for thirty days.

If you find that you are not happy about anything then write a daily list, first thing in the morning, of thirty things you are grateful for, and do it for thirty days. 

Everyone I know that has tried this has proclaimed not only a drastic change in their demeanor but, new great energy levels.

Try it! Especially if you do not believe me. Try it, find out for yourself, and watch yourself live in a much happier place.

The other thing I would suggest to you is developing awareness, true awareness, by starting a meditation practice. 

I want to teach the world to meditate! Meditation has not only made me better, rather than bitter, but it has also made my life amazing. Living an amazing life is the best, and it is all about the focus. Meditation will create the focus that anyone needs. 

Try it! You are worth it! It's as easy as deciding.

Alrighty then... Enjoy your weekend! 

Practice happiness! 

Have fun! 

Be playful!

Love you...

Elizabeth Stanfill

Ungrateful me...

Hello my friend. How are you this fine lovely Sabbath Day?

My prayer is that you are doing super duper alley ooper.

What I wanna blog about this day is being ungrateful.

When I was younger I use to be so ungrateful. That's right, the ungrateful me.

Now, at the age of fifty, I am so grateful that I cry on a daily basis when I have gratitude in my heart. Quite often I cry two or three times a day. Some say it is hormones but I say that I finally know what gratitude is.

For many years I have found several things to be grateful for but my heart has been completely full of gratitude for the last two or three years. I have no idea what happened to me but something touched me where I just fell in love with people, places, things, and life.

It is my humble opinion that this love and thankfulness is from my meditation practice.  I have been meditating since 1999 and the more I meditate the more aware I become.

My meditation has allowed me to be aware of my ungratefulness, or my thanklessness, and to be more grateful.

My meditation has allowed me to focus on the better things in life.

When I was so ungrateful I was always focusing on what was wrong, I was caught up in my anxiety and that didn't allow me to be fully present right here, right now.

Now I am so grateful, everywhere I go people are so loving, so kind to me, and they didn't use to be that way so it must be my gratitude.

Nearly everyday, I get free things all the time, I swear.

The other day I went to a sandwich shop and the guys gave me three free chocolate cookies.  The day before that I was at this facility, which had this coffee machine, I put my money in it to get a hot coco, and the money came back out so I got a free hot coco.

I don't know if you wanna call that karma or what but, you can ask anybody who hangs out with me, or has known me for a long time, and they will tell you that people give things to me A LOT, like all the time.

This free stuff never use to happen for me but I believe it's because I live in a place of gratitude. The emotion of gratitude is so close to the emotion of love, and this emotion has given to me the openness to fall in love with everything and everybody.

This love allows me to always have a big smile on my face, and to nearly always be very playful.

I do not say this to brag, I say this because I want to teach the world to meditate.

I want to teach the world to meditate because before my meditation practice I was the most angry, anxious, and ungrateful person but now I am just the opposite.

The reason my life has evolved is because I did the work! In order to be who you want to become, you must do the work on you, and your life.

Meditation is a mental exercise.

When we practice awareness, we become aware of our thoughts.

When we become aware of our thoughts we can choose them more wisely and govern them.

When we govern our thoughts we govern our emotions.

When we do not govern our emotions we are on autopilot with the habitual emotions we have, which often have momentum. The emotions I am talking about are the unhealthy ones like anger, irritability, moodiness, and sadness.

All emotions on autopilot can develop great momentum to where they put us in bliss or in burnout.

The reason I am sharing this is, I was crying this morning because I was so grateful for the kindness that people show me and I am so grateful to be able to serve The Lord everyday.

When I was crying this morning, I was thinking about how I cry two or three times a day because my heart is full of gratitude when before I started meditating I use to cry two or three times a day because of anxiety and depression.

I know that I do not have anxiety or depression anymore. I don't even have nervousness or sadness anymore. I don't have anger, anxiety, frustration, or any of that and it is because I meditate, which is my mental exercise that allows me to release the negative emotions that do not belong to me.

If there was anything I could tell you to help you destress yourself it would be, learn to meditate, learn to relax, and practice it everyday.  This learning and practicing will develop a calm, certain, and confident you.

This practice will give you much more faith in life and others versus doubt, fear, and worry, which is anxiety.

I would love to teach the world to meditate so that everyone can know gratitude so much that they are crying everyday like me.

I just wanted to share these thoughts with you because I know that there is a lot of crisis, despair, and devastation out there, I have lived crisis, despair, and devastation, and I have been assisting people with crisis, despair, and devastation for many years.

When the crisis, devastation, and despair come, I know everything is going to be okay, I know that it is all a part of life, I know I can be grateful for the things that are going right rather than the things that are going wrong, and I know this through the practice of meditation.

If you are having a hard time, learn to meditate. You will be so grateful you did but don't believe me! Try it yourself and see how it will evolve your safety, satisfaction, and security for life.

That's all I got...

I love you, I truly do.

Elizabeth

DEEPEST MOMENTS OF DESPAIR PART II ;)

Hello there.

The other day I gotta a not-so-nice email. Well, I shouldn't say not so nice. I should declare an email from someone who disagreed with me about my last post. Someone who was really defending their despair, and that is okay because that is what we, as humans, do.

It is normal to defend unhappiness, grief, and/or feeling horrible, but when you want to feel better, and when you want to lighten the load on yourself, you can tell another story. That's all I was saying.

Reasoning either harm or heal. Positive ideas help, and negative thinking hurts.

When people are angry, anxious, or depressed, they may be unaware of the thoughts that make them mad, nervous, or sad because they are not aware of what they are thinking.

I know this is true because after I speak to someone and explore their mood, we discover what is really going on in their life when they are experiencing negative emotions. The conclusion always points to thoughts creating feelings.

An example of this is anxiety attacks. When someone has an anxiety attack, and I am speaking to them, calming them down, they often believe that they do not have any anxiety. They will say, "But I am not anxious about anything."  After exploring, we always discover their doubt, fears, and worries.

I talk about meditation and quieting the mind because it helps us relax and be more in tune with our thoughts. When we quiet our minds, we can be aware of our focus. When we are more aware of our focus, we can discover the mood of our mind.

If our mood is based on what we don't want, we are in a state of fear and possibly misery. These are the negative contemplations I am talking about. This can be a great discovery, so we may shift our contemplation to what we want, which can create faith, hope, and happiness. This is the positive consideration.

When we write down what we want, we can remind ourselves of what we should think or focus on.

So, your story, is it hurting you or helping you? That is the question.

The email I got talked about the horrible things this person is experiencing, and I know there is help in the story we tell.

You know?!? We all have horrible things happen to us, but how we handle what is given to us determines how we respond. I have heard the famous story, "Oh, you don't know what I have been through, and others haven't been through as much as I have."  Well, maybe, maybe not. Or maybe people just tell their story more positively, as a lesson learned or a positive outcome, rather than a dramatic tragedy.  

Life is not a competition; it is about creativity in changing your thoughts or story so you can shift your despair into comfort.

Many people tell the story, "There is a purpose for everything,"  and I don't really know about that, but I do know, "There is a lesson in EVERYTHING we experience."

Anywho, I got another email telling me that writing something down on a card, an idea from my last post, won't help, and I say, try it and then tell me if it doesn't help. Try it for at least 30 days, and if you are brave enough, 90 days or even a year.

The thing is... You gotta be willing to love yourself enough to do something for yourself. You gotta be inclined to believe in yourself enough to know your value and worth. You cannot and will not get your value and worth from anyone but yourself. You can and will get short-term, temporary feelings of significance, but you can and will only get permanent feelings of worthiness from yourself! Well, and God.

 

Consider it.

That's all the rambling I got ;)

Have the best day ever, and don't forget...

Have fun!!!

Be playful ;)

Elizabeth Stanfill

If you love what you read here, you may find my books by clicking, books by Elizabeth Stanfill.

EMAIL RESPONSES TO "HOW DO I DESTRESS MYSELF?"

Holey Moley Guacamole Avocado Sauce. 

I have received several emails in response to the last post, "HOW DO I DESTRESS MYSELF?"

I have received emails regarding job loss, unable to get a job, losing a home, losing a loved one, having a hard time with the boss, depression, anxiety, chronic fatigue, anger towards a spouse, anger towards an ex-spouse, problems with a child, having a hard time with weight control, and...even...sexual frustration.

As I read these emails, I was going to answer them each individually but, the main theme was that these individuals disagreed with me.  They either disagreed with me on that they cannot control their thoughts, they do not have a choice in their thinking, they do not think their stress comes from their thoughts, or that they don't need to change their thoughts.

So, basically, I have been disagreed with on each one of the points I made last post.

What it all boils down to is this, if you do not or cannot believe or wrap your mind around the concept that you are the boss of you, that you are the only thinker of your thoughts, or that you have a choice to choose the way you think, then you will have to live in the state that you are living until you do.

I don't know what else to say.  The thing is, the reason I am not a therapist, or a counselor anymore is because I cannot help people who do not want to be helped, which are, in my opinion from experience, many of the people who are in therapy. 

I am not knocking therapy, it has helped so many people.  What I am saying is, that I help people who want help.  I help people who are willing to open their mind and let new ideas in.

This is education, not therapy, and so if you want to learn more about stress, you can learn it here. 

Stress is NOT caused by your situation or the people you are upset with.  Stress is caused by your thought process about what is happening to you. 

Yes, stress is a part of life and I don't know anyone who lives stress free, not even me, but you can reduce any stress you have by changing habitual stressful reactions, which begins with your thought process.

It is not my intention to be unkind, I am trying to be a loving confronter.  If you know me now, you know that I have nothing but love for you or anyone I meet.  I love you!  I love people!  I have nothing but love in my heart.

Please, if you want help, it has to start with you.  With you choosing to open your mind to a new way of thinking.  Listen to your destress yourself specialist, and I say that with a wink and a smile.  I have helped and help thousands of people, all over the world, and I know I can help you.

Have a great day and don't forget to have fun and be playful.

Speak soon...

Elizabeth

ps  thanks for the emails, I LOVE IT!!!

HOW ARE YOU DOING ON YOUR NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS?

Hey there, how are you?  Happy Monday!

How are you doing on your New Year's Resolutions? 

Well, it is mid January, and many people give up on there New Year's Resolution by now.  But, I am here to tell you to NEVER GIVE UP!  CONTINUE THE GOAL!

Obviously, if you made the New Year's Resolution, whatever it is, it is important for you to accomplish.

So...  When you fall back a lil just start a new.  Like, if you are dieting, and you eat something that is not on your plan, start all over again.  That's what we gotta do you know?

Never ending goal setting is never giving up.  I know people who are struggling with smoking, drinking, eating, anxiety, depression, anger, and all sorts of stressful habits and we all fall back but we just have to be our own cheerleader and pep talk ourselves back into the game.

When we mess up, we may have the tendency to beat ourselves up and say, "I will never be able to stop smoking, stop drinking, lose weight, control my anxiety, overcome my depression, or manage my anger." 

When we beat ourselves up, we feel bad, and we diminish our faith in our ability to do it.

A couple things that we can do to increase our chances to obtain our goals are one, we can NOT beat ourselves up and be more encouraging.  It's a choice you know?  We can choose to beat ourselves up or we can choose to cheer ourselves on.  Choose to cheer yourself on, tell yourself, "you can do this!"  "I have faith that I can do this."

Even if you don't believe it, say it until you do, and you will be glad you did.  You will create a habit of faith because you will see the results.

Okay, the second thing you can do to help is to create a reminder, an affirmation.  For example, if you want to lose weight, you can create a statement, an affirmation, like, "I am losing weight."  Or, "I am getting lighter as I eat healthier." 

Create an Affirmation, so that you can have a statement to remind yourself on what you are working towards. 

To a lot of people, creating affirmations will sound silly because it is silly.  It's silly but it works, and you will laugh at yourself on several occasions when you say it.  Life is suppose to be fun anyway, so why not make this process of change fun? 

By the way, when we make the statements like, "I can't do this."  Or, "I'll never be able to do this."  You are telling yourself you can't so, why not tell yourself you can with an affirmation.

Your affirmation can simply be, I can stop smoking, or I can stop drinking, or I can lose weight, or I can control my anxiety, or I can overcome my depression, or I can manage my anger. 

YOU CAN DO IT, I KNOW YOU CAN, YOU GOT THE POWER!!!

Any who...  Have a great week, and don't forget to have fun and be playful.

Speak soon...

Elizabeth

DESTRESS YOURSELF IN 2011

Are you ready for permanent stress relief in 2011?

Do you have stress at work or at home?

Maybe you have anxiety or depression and you need a little help to relieve stress and relax.

Maybe you are burned out and need to regenerate.

Whatever it is that is stressing you out, it is time to make a new life of destressing yourself.

Do you create New Year's Resolutions?  I do, every year.  I believe in never ending goal setting.

If you are not moving forward, you are stagnant, and if you are stagnant things usually do not improve.

So...

If you haven't made any New Year's Resolutions, let's do that now.

Take a piece of paper and write down all the things you want.

Do you want to get healthier?

Do you want to create more energy?

Do you want a better relationship, job, or home?

Whatever it is, write it down because that is the first step to destressing yourself.

The first step is knowing what you want that will improve your life. 

Improvement will help you feel better about your life and better about yourself. 

So, make a list, NOW!!!

Do it now!!!

Just thinking about a better life will make you feel good, I promise you.

Until next post, don't forget to have fun and be playful...

Speak soon...

Elizabeth