AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey!  Hi!  How are you?  Are you stressed?  I am!

I cannot believe what I just saw.  There is this video clip of a Dr. of Psychology telling people that there is no such thing as stress, that the stress is caused by YOUR reactions.

Dang it!!!  I use to say that all the time, like a few weeks ago.  IT'S A LIE!!!

There are some seriously stressful situations.  That's right!  I was wrong and I am changing my thoughts and theory about stress. 

Recently, I have talked to people who are seriously stressed out and some of them are freaking out because of their situation.  These particular situations are legitimately stressful.  Losing a loved one, like a child or a spouse, that is stressful.  Losing your job, home, and car, that is stressful.  Losing the feelings and use of your legs and arms, that is stressful.

Holy shizzz!!!

After watching that video I said to myself, "How could that Dr. go around telling people that their thoughts cause their stress?"  In some situations, it is true that our thoughts and reactions cause our stress, like the habits on the stress test.  But, when it comes to devastating situations, it is the circumstances that provokes the stress.  I REALLY BELIEVE THAT!

What I am saying is that there are legitimately stressful situations. 

Do you remember the D's?  Death, destruction, devastation, dismemberment, divorce, and dying. 

If you experience any of these D's, I think it is absolutely normal to experience severe stress, and even critical stress.  There is no doubt about it!  These are stressful situations. 

As I think about the people I have helped through their stress, I have realized that when it comes to everyday situations like work, relationships, school, family, and finances we do create our stress by our reactions, by our habitual way of thinking.  Especially if it is full of doubt, fear, and worry.

AND!!!  This is the big AND ;), I realize that some situations, like the D's, certainly can, and will, provoke our stress.

I gotta be honest with you, I am going through a shizola load of devastation right now.  The reason I don't share is because I am not ready to talk about it.  Me!  The destress Queen!  HA!

Maybe I do handle stress better than most, maybe I don't ;), I still have my stress.  How am I handling it?  Some moments, very well, and other moments I cry my eyes out.

But, this is what I know, and these are the beliefs that are helping me...

1.  I have a deep down conviction, deep deep in my heart and soul, that God is taking care of me every minute of every hour, and every hour of everyday.

2.  With every adversity comes an equal and opposite opportunity.

3.  When we have adversity, it is only a blessing if we look for the lesson in it, carry our faith through the adversity, and know, really believe, that every thing is going to be fine, because it always is.

4.  I must discover what I am going to do next by establishing what I want, setting goals, and just make consistent moves towards those goals.

5.  God is allowing adversity, and stress, because in order to be a destress specialist, I gotta know what the heck people are going through ;)

6.  Although, I want to curl up into a ball in my bed some days, I have to move forward.  I have to be diligent on making something happen for the good of me.

7.  Adversity can be a way God gets us to grow spiritually, move in another direction spiritually, and get closer to Him, if we carry faith.

8.  When I am under stress, I have to take care of myself because I could get sick and if I don't take care of myself, I can't take care of anyone else. 

9.  I can still enjoy this minute, the place I am at, the person I am with, and right here, right now.  Taking it not day by day but moment by moment.

Shew...

So any who...  I made a comment on this video to the Dr. chastising him for daring to say such things and what I should really do is reprimand myself.  Please believe me, I have seen the error of my ways ;)

FORGIVE ME ;)

That's all I got...

Have a great day!  Don't forget to have fun and be playful ;)

Elizabeth

DEEPEST MOMENTS OF DESPAIR PART II ;)

Hello there.

The other day I gotta a not-so-nice email. Well, I shouldn't say not so nice. I should declare an email from someone who disagreed with me about my last post. Someone who was really defending their despair, and that is okay because that is what we, as humans, do.

It is normal to defend unhappiness, grief, and/or feeling horrible, but when you want to feel better, and when you want to lighten the load on yourself, you can tell another story. That's all I was saying.

Reasoning either harm or heal. Positive ideas help, and negative thinking hurts.

When people are angry, anxious, or depressed, they may be unaware of the thoughts that make them mad, nervous, or sad because they are not aware of what they are thinking.

I know this is true because after I speak to someone and explore their mood, we discover what is really going on in their life when they are experiencing negative emotions. The conclusion always points to thoughts creating feelings.

An example of this is anxiety attacks. When someone has an anxiety attack, and I am speaking to them, calming them down, they often believe that they do not have any anxiety. They will say, "But I am not anxious about anything."  After exploring, we always discover their doubt, fears, and worries.

I talk about meditation and quieting the mind because it helps us relax and be more in tune with our thoughts. When we quiet our minds, we can be aware of our focus. When we are more aware of our focus, we can discover the mood of our mind.

If our mood is based on what we don't want, we are in a state of fear and possibly misery. These are the negative contemplations I am talking about. This can be a great discovery, so we may shift our contemplation to what we want, which can create faith, hope, and happiness. This is the positive consideration.

When we write down what we want, we can remind ourselves of what we should think or focus on.

So, your story, is it hurting you or helping you? That is the question.

The email I got talked about the horrible things this person is experiencing, and I know there is help in the story we tell.

You know?!? We all have horrible things happen to us, but how we handle what is given to us determines how we respond. I have heard the famous story, "Oh, you don't know what I have been through, and others haven't been through as much as I have."  Well, maybe, maybe not. Or maybe people just tell their story more positively, as a lesson learned or a positive outcome, rather than a dramatic tragedy.  

Life is not a competition; it is about creativity in changing your thoughts or story so you can shift your despair into comfort.

Many people tell the story, "There is a purpose for everything,"  and I don't really know about that, but I do know, "There is a lesson in EVERYTHING we experience."

Anywho, I got another email telling me that writing something down on a card, an idea from my last post, won't help, and I say, try it and then tell me if it doesn't help. Try it for at least 30 days, and if you are brave enough, 90 days or even a year.

The thing is... You gotta be willing to love yourself enough to do something for yourself. You gotta be inclined to believe in yourself enough to know your value and worth. You cannot and will not get your value and worth from anyone but yourself. You can and will get short-term, temporary feelings of significance, but you can and will only get permanent feelings of worthiness from yourself! Well, and God.

 

Consider it.

That's all the rambling I got ;)

Have the best day ever, and don't forget...

Have fun!!!

Be playful ;)

Elizabeth Stanfill

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