WHAT IS THE MOST STRESSFUL HABIT?

Hello there...

Gotta question for you!  What do you think is the most stressful habit?  When we say the word habit, often times we think of drinking, smoking, doing drugs, or eating too much.  Although these are stressful habits, not one of them is the most stressful habit.

So, what do you think the most stressful habit is?  Before I answer, I just would like to say that this is stress according to her Majesty Elizabeth, heh heh...

The most stressful habit is thoughts of doubt, fear, and worry.  Yuppers, that's it!

There are many different stressful situations like death, dying, divorce, or dismemberment, and yet the situation is not the stress but how we think about the situation that creates the stress. 

So why do I say that thoughts of doubt, fear, and worry is the most stressful habit?  I say it because the way we think is habitual.  If we habitually think sad thoughts, we have depression.  If we habitually worry about anything, we have anxiety.  If we habitually focus on what we don't have and how horrible our life is instead of focusing on what is great in our lives, we have despair. 

Do you have the most stressful habit?  If you do, you can turn it around, it's just a thought you know! 

I know, I know, habits are hard to break and they are hard to even know that we are doing the habit.  So, what do you do?

You take that habit, of doubt, fear, and worry, and you change it into confidence, faith, and hope. 

How do you do that?  The best way is to just recognize that you do it.  Recognize that you are worrying.  There is no reason to worry.  If you have a situation that is less than the 'D'S' (death, dying, divorce, or dismemberment) life is pretty good, wouldn't you say? 

Start there and look at how good life is for you and then remind yourself, when you do have doubt, fear, and worry, that it's just a thought, and then change the thought into confidence, faith, and hope.

No matter what is going on for you, you either have control over what is happening or you don't.  There is no reason to worry if you have control over a situation and there is no reason to worry if you don't have control.  Just accept and allow.  Accept that life is not, and never will be, without 'situations'.  That's all life is, 'situations'.  And the more you accept that the better your life will be.

Have a great day and don't forget to have fun and be playful.


Elizabeth

ANOTHER IDEA FOR PARENTS TO DESTRESS!!!

Here is another idea for parents to destress! 

GIVE LOVE!  Give love in everything you do!  Especially to your children.

One thing I noticed about parents, who seem stressed, is they are on their child's/children's case over very, very minor things.  Now, I am talking about family, friends, and total strangers in public.  What I notice is anger, irritability, and sweating the small stuff.  I don't really know the whole story but I do know that anger, irritability, and sweating the small stuff is a habit just like giving love is and can be a habit.

What happens when you change these negative emotions into a positive one, like love, is the parent feels better about themselves and they teach their child how to love.  This in turn will assist your child/children to feel better about themselves and all kinds of positive outcomes will follow like better behavior at home and at school.

If you are angry and irritable, especially when under stress, look back at who raised you.  Was that person, your primary caregiver, angry or irritable too?  If so, you may have learned that habit from them.

Emotional states are much of habits, I know because my emotional state is very playful and loving.  That statement may seem like I am bragging but it is true.  You can ask anyone who knows me now, I am the happiest person they know.  Of course, it didn't use to always be that way but I don't wanna get into that, lol.

Back to giving love!  In order to give love you have to have love in your mind and emotions more often.  One way to do this is to be grateful for all you have especially your children.  There is so much to be grateful for. 

Every morning I get up, the first thing I think is how grateful I am for my bed.  Oh boy do I love my bed.  It is cozy, soft, and warm.  I get up every morning grateful for all I have.  The first thing I do is get down on my knees, next to the bed I love, and thank Heavenly Father for all that I have.  This takes a long time because I am truly grateful for His love, my family, my friends, and the list goes on and on.  This state of gratitude fills my soul with joy.

If you choose to live your life focusing on what you are grateful for you choose to live your life full of love.  The emotions of gratitude and love are very similar.

Another way you can feel love more often is to consciously think and feel love when you are spending time with and talking to your child, your family, and your friends.

When you feel love you feel good.  When you feel anger you feel bad.  Take the time to replace the anger (or any negative emotion you have) with the habit of feeling gratitude and love. 

If you are stressed out you are not enjoying life and if you learn to replace that stress with love and gratitude by giving it and making it a habit, I promise you will enjoy life. 

Try it!  Try to consciously hold gratitude and love in your mind and emotions as often and as long as you can and I promise that you will be so happy you did.  See how long it lasts and when it disappears or dissipates, come back to this post and read it again.

Parents!  Give love!!!  I know this will increase your happiness, energy, and vitality for life!

Have a super duper week and don't forget to have fun and be playful!

Elizabeth

How Can Parents Destress?

Parents can have high-stress levels, especially when they have a child with special needs or a diagnosis. Parents can also have high-stress levels by filling their schedule to the point that there is not enough time in the day to do all that is required of them. Another stressor for parents is having super duper high expectations for themselves and their children.

With all the stress that parents deal with, asking how they can destress is a valid question.

The number one way parents can destress is through prevention. Preventing stress is a tall order; it just takes a little pro-action.

Stress prevention is preparing yourself for what is to come. So, how does one prepare?

We can prepare by taking care of ourselves. We can take care of ourselves emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually.

How do we take care of ourselves emotionally? We learn how to be happy. Sounds silly, I know, but many people, especially parents, have the habit of anger or irritation over the most minor things. 

One of the best ways to learn to be happy is to focus on all that you love and all that is great in your life. A nasty habit people have learned from their parents is concentrating on the negative. Children do a thousand things correctly, all day long, and if they do one or two things wrong, it is focused on. For example, if a child gets, let's say, 3 A's and 3 C's on their report card, the parent may focus on the C's and how they can make the C's, A's. What should be done to help the child empower themselves and develop the habit of focusing on the good is that parents should magnify the A's. In other words, celebrate the A's, even if the child has C's or F's.

Parents should compliment them at least one hundred times if children do a thousand things right all day. Praising a child just a couple times a day would make that child very confident and happy. A secure and comfortable child makes a happy parent. Pretty cool, eh?

How do we take care of ourselves mentally? We think good thoughts. Have you ever heard the term auto-pilot? Well, many people have their minds on auto-pilot and what that does is it allows us to think randomly. When we think randomly, we may think about what we don't have and how we are not what we want to be, which is very human. 

What kind of good thoughts can we think? We can think of all of the blessings we have in our lives. 

If I were to tell you a story about a woman who lost all four of her children, one at a time, you would think how lucky you are to have all of your children. Guess what? It is not necessary to hear a sad story of a woman who lost her children tragically to know how lucky we are to be able to hug and kiss our kids every day. In other words, know your blessings. 

How can we take care of ourselves physically? Eating right, getting plenty of rest, and exercising are how we take care of ourselves physically. This small but essential list will help us create energy, and it takes energy to manage stress.

How do we take care of ourselves spiritually? We fill ourselves with God's love and love for others. This can be done every day. Going to church really helps to refill us spiritually too. If I miss going to church on just one Sunday, I feel it.

So, how can parents destress? Here is your list of stress prevention, in short.

Take care of yourself emotionally by learning to be happy all the time. TOTALLY POSSIBLE!

Take care of yourself mentally by thinking good thoughts all the time. TOTALLY POSSIBLE!

Take care of yourself physically by eating right, exercising, and getting plenty of rest. TOTALLY POSSIBLE!

Take care of yourself spiritually by filling yourself with the love of God and loving others. TOTALLY POSSIBLE!

I believe this because I live it and know it is TOTALLY POSSIBLE!

You can do it! You have the power. All you have to do is think you can.

Have a great week, and don't forget to have fun and be playful.

Love you lots ;0)

BIG HUGS...

Elizabeth Stanfill 

If you love what you read here, you may find my books by clicking, books by Elizabeth Stanfill.

HOW DO WE CREATE FAITH IN OURSELVES?

Excellent question!  How do we create faith in ourselves?  The answer?  Destress Yourself!

Faith is the confident belief or trust in something.  I just blurted that meaning out of my head, lol.  It is true, isn't it?  Faith is the confident belief or trust in something...  I like that.

If you have a lot of stress, stress at work, stress at home, stress with finances, stress in your relationships, or just difficulty coping with stress, chances are you do not have faith.

When I say faith, I mean faith in yourself, faith that things will be okay, or faith that you can handle your stress.

What is stress?  Stress is the consequences of our thoughts of doubt, fear, and worry.  Therefore, the opposite of stress is our consequences from our thoughts of faith or the confident belief or trust in something.

Let me just clarify that I am, in a general sense, talking about negative, everyday stress, which is distress.  Although, this can apply to eustress, as well, which is positive stress.  But, I am not speaking about cumulative stress (burnout), or critical (incident) stress, at this time.  With that said, if you have stress, chances are you have doubt, fear, and worry.

Stress at work is caused by thoughts of doubt, fear, and worry about work.  Stress at home is caused by doubt, fear, worry about home.  Stress with finances is caused by doubt, fear, and worry about finances.  Stress in relationships is caused by doubt, fear, and worry about relationships.  GET THE PICTURE???

Difficulty coping with stress is caused by a habit of doubt, fear, and worry about outcomes.  We can eliminate this habit by creating a habit of focusing on solutions, making these solutions our goals, and focusing on obtaining these goals.

How do we create faith in ourselves?

We create faith in ourselves by discovering what we want out of life, what our purpose is, and living what we want and living our purpose.  For example, I want to enjoy life (this has many meanings to me but I will save it for another post) and my purpose is to help create happiness, energy, and vitality by teaching people to find joy in their lives (destress yourself). 

Living with what we want is not a destination, it is a journey.  Therefore, we are constantly moving towards what we want by living our purpose.  We can create faith in ourselves by finding out what we want, finding out our purpose, and setting goals to constantly obtain this.

If you are living in the constant state of going nowhere, doing the same ole thing, living the same ole life, then you are not creating faith in yourself.  But, by moving forward, in life, setting your goals, having a vision, and living your purpose, faith in yourself will come naturally because of the great accomplishments you will make.

Right now, I know a lot of people who are out of work and they are not doing anything about it.  It is sad really.  If I had a lot of time on my hands, I would be working on the things I want out of life and if I didn't know what I wanted, I would spend all of my time searching.  It doesn't take money, it only takes the internet.  Google it!

Take a moment and look back one year ago, three years ago, or even five years ago.  Are you doing the same ole thing or are you moving forward in life? 

Discover what you want out of life, move towards it, and live it!  That, my friend is how we create faith!

Discover your purpose, move towards it, and live it!  That will create faith!

Set goals towards what you want, using your purpose, and keep moving forward, everyday!  That will create faith!

You can do it!  You got the power to be, do, have anything you want, you just have to think you can!  That my friend, is faith.

Have a great weekend!!!

Until next post...  Don't forget to have fun and be playful!

Elizabeth