Destress Your Anger

Destressing anger is what I would like to examine this day.

Hello my friend! Happy Friday! Are you ready for your weekend? I know I am...

So... I wanna discuss anger a little bit because anger is a very stressful habit and if you are struggling with it, the weekend is the best time to contemplate what the heck is going on for you.

Possibly you are experiencing anger because of your work place, and that is, and can be very stressful.

There are a whole lot of people who are angry out there, and sometimes they don't even know they are angry. Other times they think anger is okay. But the worst thing of all is angry people think it is necessary to get angry.

Well, I am here to tell you that anger is absolutely unnecessary, and going off on someone because of anger is not okay.

Just in case you didn't know, it is not okay to go off on someone when you lose your temper. In reality, it's not okay to go off on anyone. It's quite ridiculous actually. 

Have you ever seen someone lose it over something very minor as if their life was threatened? Do you blow your fuse over insignificant things?

"Losing it," is not okay, wouldn't you agree?

Not only is losing control of anger not okay and unnecessary, it is very unhealthy.

Any negative emotion creates unhealthy shifts in your body and releases toxic hormones, and that is a big part of why people get sick.

But! Anger just doesn't hurt you, it hurts the people around you as well. And guess what? If you are an angry one, people most likely do not want to be around you. You may think that is not a bad thing but when it comes to work, if people don't want to be around you it could lead to termination of your employment.

So what do you do if you are an angry one? 

How do you destress yourself from anger?

I have not a clue! Just kidding.


Count to ten? Joking...

But seriously!

Like with any bad habit, we must have to know that it is a problem, know we may surrender it, and then replace it with a successful practice.

Sounds pretty simple but not necessarily easy.

Once upon a time, a long long time ago, I worked on an ambulance with a super duper allie ooper angry person. This guy... I have to laugh out loud as I look back at this but, this guy was so angry that his anger spread to me. Meaning... his anger was contagious and I found myself being angry.

This was way before I began to study stress relief.

Thank goodness I didn't work with this guy for long. Anyway, looking back, I recognized that I was angry a lot, and for no reason. After I began to notice this, I would ask myself, "why are you getting so angry?" When I asked myself that silly little question, right in the middle of my anger I would talk myself out of the anger.

My conversation with myself went something like this, "Why am I so angry? You are getting angry for no reason Elizabeth!" After having that very little dialogue with myself for a while, every time I got angry, the anger went away. Sure I still got angry but now, after practicing for so many years, all of my anger is gone.

You may not believe me and I get that because I use to think anger was necessary. However, anger is a tantrum at the very core level because we are unhappy  that we aren't getting our way. So... I'm laughing out loud right now but... when you are an adult, and you lose your temper, you are just throwing an adult tantrum. When I was an angry person, I was throwing adult tantrums.

Why am I telling you my story of anger? I'm telling you because it might be possible that you may believe you are getting angry from your environment. I'm telling you because your anger might, or has become a habit. I'm telling you because if it is a habit, you can nip that stuff in the bee you tee tee, and eliminate your anger. 

If you have an anger problem know two things; know that it is not okay and know that you can eliminate it.

Have that adult conversation in your head, and remind yourself that it's unnecessary to become angry. I know it sounds silly, but it works. It's called governing your thoughts so that you may govern your emotions.

Wait!!! There's more!

When you become angry, see if you can just observe the anger right when you are in the middle of it. Just pay attention, be the observer, and don't judge it, or beat yourself up for it.

If you monitor your behavior you can talk yourself out of it, or you can do something even funnier. You can start singing a song, a funny song, like rap or something. You may want to sing it in your head, but if it's funnier to you to sing it out loud then go for it!

Remember that Kid Rock song that went, "ball to the ball to the bang to the bang diggy?" Or something like that. I'm laughing out loud again because my son taught me that song years ago, and I knew it by heart, but I don't remember it. 

This will work, I promise you, it will make you laugh and you will be stress free because you replace your anger with laughter and playfulness.

You gotta love it! You gotta love the playfulness in that, don't you?

Something to contemplate over the weekend, if you are angry, is replacing your anger with playfulness. So many people get caught up in anger and forget their playfulness.

Anger is often an unconscious habit, which can be replaced consciously with friskiness. Oh! I like that word! Friskiness!

Say it with me now! Friskiness!!!

Have fun with this!!! Be playful!!! Is there any better way to spend the weekend? NOPE!!!

Well, have fun my friend, and enjoy your weekend.

I love you... I really truly do!

Elizabeth Stanfill 

DESTRESS YOUR ANGER

Hello there!  How are you this beautiful Monday?  Dang!  I feel so lucky to live in Cali.  We have beautiful blue skies and the temp is a lovely 62 deez greez.  A lil cool for us Californians.

Okay, enough of the bragging, huh?

Today, I wanna talk about destressing your anger. 

Anger is a very stressful habit.  Yuppers, it's a habit.  I would even go as far as to say that it is an addiction, a very contagious addiction.  What I mean by addiction is that it is something that is a negative influence and you cannot quit it.  What I mean by contagious addiction is that an angry environment, like a work place, can create and increase other peoples' anger.  For example, a fire house, or an emergency room, or just being in an ambulance with an angry person.  Also, a corporate or office environment can generate anger in individuals.

There are a whole lotta people out there who are very angry.  Sometimes they don't even know they are angry.  Other times they think anger is okay.  But the worst of them all is they think anger is necessary.

ANGER IS UNNECESSARY!  AND GOING OFF IS NOT OKAY! 

Just in case you didn't know, it is not okay to go off on someone when you loose your temper.  Actually, it's not okay to go off on anyone.  It's quite ridiculous actually.  Have you ever seen someone loose it over something as if their life was threatened?  That is an illusion of anger.   

Not only is anger unnecessary, it is bad for you.

Any negative emotion creates unhealthy shifts in your body and releases bad hormones.  That is why people get sick when they are stressed.

BUT!  Anger just doesn't hurt you, it hurts the people around you and guess what?  If you are an angry one, people probably don't want to be around you.

So, what do you do if you are an angry one?  How do you destress yourself from anger?

I have no idea!  Count to ten!  JUST KIDDING ;0)

But seriously!

Like any addiction, you have to know that it is a problem, know that you can quit it, and then replace it with a successful practice.

Sounds pretty simple, but not easy.

Once upon a time, a long long time ago, I worked on an ambulance with a very very angry person.  He was so angry that it radiated to me and I started to get angry.  This is way before I started researching and writing about stress relief.  Thank goodness I didn't work with this guy for long. 

Any who, looking back, I recognized that I was angry, a lot, and for no reason.  After I started to notice my anger, I would ask myself, "why am I so angry?" right in the middle of the anger and then I would talk myself out of the anger.  I would say, "you are getting angry for no reason, Elizabeth."  After doing that for a while, every time I got angry, the anger went away.  Sure, I still got angry, sometimes, but not the kind that was ridiculous.

If you have an anger problem know two things, know that it is not okay because you are hurting yourself and know that you can eliminate it.

Say to yourself, "Anger is not okay and I don't get angry."  I know, it sounds silly, but it will work.  Just keep saying it to yourself when you feel yourself getting angry, and once in a while throughout the day.

It's just a reminder, to remind you, that it's not okay and you don't get angry anymore.

There's more!

When you are angry, see if you can just observe the anger, right when you are in the middle of it.  Just observe it, be the observer, and don't judge it or label it or beat yourself up for it.

Then you can do what I did and talk yourself out of it, or you can do something even funnier.  You can start to sing a song, a funny song, like a rap or something.  Pick a song, any song, and whenever you start to get angry, sing it in your head, or even out loud.  This will work, I promise, it will make you laugh and you will eliminate the stressful habit of anger and replace it with the successful practice of laughter.

You gotta love it!  You gotta love the playfulness in that, don't you?

Well, have a great week and don't forget to have fun and be playful.

Love ya...

Elizabeth

I'M IN LOVE! I'M IN LOVE! I'M IN LOVE!!!

Did the title get your attention ;)

I feel so in love with life right now! RIGHT NOW!!! Things are happening, and I just love it! ALL OF IT!

When I feel this happy, I feel successful.

It is my humble opinion that success means happiness. Wouldn't you agree?

The ability to enjoy life no matter what is happening in your life is true success.

BEAUTY IS ALL AROUND US!

HEAVEN IS ON EARTH!

Something unfortunate is happening to me. My son is leaving, moving away :((((( boo hoo hoo

I am really sad about it, and I cry every day, like three or four times a day. But that is totally okay because it is absolutely normal for me to cry and be sad. It is absolutely normal for my son to move away. They all do, well, most of them ;)

Even though I am sad about it, I have many things to be grateful for. I am thankful for my family, friends, doggies, and the blessing to help people EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE, and I am thankful for my close relationship with God. I am incredibly grateful that my son will sooner or later (hopefully sooner than later) get married and give me grand kiddies ;)

If I focus on my son leaving and how sad it is making me, I will miss all of the great things in my life. 

Whatever we focus on is just a habitual way of thinking. If we have a habit of focusing on what is wrong and what we don't have, we will feel depressed. If we have a habit of focusing on what is excellent, we can feel delighted. 

So many people have the habit of looking at what is wrong in their life, and it causes misery. This is precisely why quieting the mind is so important.

If we quiet our minds, we can notice the mood of our minds. The attitude of our thoughts is what causes our happiness or unhappiness.

The mood of our ideas is our habitual way of thinking. For example, anger. Some outraged people are out there, and it's just a habitual way of reacting. Anger is nothing but a habit. I know this for a fact.

Many, many moons ago, I used to get angry all the time. My excuse was that I had reasons. This person did this to me, or that person didn't do what they said they would. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH...

We can have all the reasons in the book, but the fact is that anger is nothing but a habit that anyone can get rid of. I did, and people do it all the time. When I get angry now, I start to laugh at myself. I say, "Elizabeth, why are you getting so angry?"  and then laugh. Yes, I talk to myself all the time ;)  So now I have the habit of laughing at myself when I even think about getting mad, which is a new habit replacing the angry one.

I am saying that if you quiet your mind, you will notice the mood of your mind, and once you know the attitude of your mind, it will help you understand your unhappiness.

My son always reminds me, "Mom, you are the thinker of your own thoughts."  This means you can be in charge of how you think instead of allowing your mind to run on autopilot like it maybe has for years.

Your mind, body, and soul are your most powerful assets. We all come to this world with a body, mind, and soul. The only thing we leave this earth with is our mind and soul. ;) So let them be happy ;)

Quiet your mind...

Notice the mood of your mind...

Then change that mood if it is causing you unhappiness. Take charge of that mood. That, my friend, is what destressing yourself is all about.

Be in love with life ;)  YOU GOT THE POWER!

Have a great day and don't forget...

Have fun and be playful.

Love you...

Elizabeth Stanfill 

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