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Thursday, March 31, 2011

DEEPEST MOMENTS OF DESPAIR PART II ;)

Hello there.  The other day I gotta not so nice email. Well, I shouldn't say not so nice, I should say an email from someone who disagreed with me about my last post.  Someone who was really defending their despair, and that is okay because that is what we as humans do.

It is totally normal to defend your despair and totally normal to grieve and feel horrible but, when you want to feel better, and when you want to lighten the load on yourself you can tell another story, that is all I am saying.

No thoughts are neutral.  Your thoughts either help you or hurt you. 

So, if you are saying things like, "I can't, I won't, I couldn't, I shouldn't, I could never, or I wouldn't."  Then, you may be hurting yourself.  Actually, scratch the 'may be' because you are hurting yourself.

If you are saying things like, "I can, I will, I believe, I have hope, I can handle it, or this is a lesson learned."  Then, you are helping yourself.

When people are angry, anxious, or depressed, they often think that they were not having thoughts that make them angry, anxious, or depressed because that is how unaware of our thoughts we really are. 

I know this is true because after I speak to someone, and we explore the mood of the mind, while anger, anxiety, or depression is being experienced we discover what is really going on in their life.  The conclusion always points to thoughts creating feelings.

An example of this is anxiety attacks.  When someone has an anxiety attack, and I am speaking to them, calming them down, they often believe that they are not having an anxiety attack.  They will say, "But I am not anxious about anything."  After a little exploration, we always discover their doubt, fear, and worry.

The reason I talk about meditation and quieting the mind is because we can relax and be more in tune with our thoughts.  When we quiet our mind, we can really be aware of what we are thinking.

When we write down what we want, we can remind ourselves what we should be thinking, or focusing on rather.

So, your story, is it hurting you or helping you?  That is the question.

The email I got talked about the horrible things this person is experiencing and I know that there is help in the story that we tell.

You know?!?  We all have horrible things that happen to us and it all depends how we handle what is given to us.  I have heard the famous story of, "Oh, you don't know what I have been through, and others haven't been through as much as I have."  Well, maybe, maybe not.  Or, maybe people just tell a different story of what they have been through. 

This is not a competition, it is creativity on how to change your thoughts, or your story, so that you can change your despair to comfort. 

Many people tell the story of, "There is a purpose for everything,"  and I don't really know about that but I do know, "There is a lesson in EVERYTHING we experience."

Any who, I got another email telling me that writing something down on a card, an idea from my last post, won't help, and I say, try it and then tell me if it doesn't help.  Try it for at least 30 days and if you are brave enough 90 days, or even a year.

The thing is... You gotta be willing to love yourself enough to do things for you. You gotta be willing to believe in yourself enough to know your value and worth. You cannot, and will not get your value and worth from anyone but yourself. Oh, sure, you can and will get short-term, and temporary feelings of significance but, you can and will only get permanent feelings of worthiness from you! 

Well, you and God, anyway.

Some things to ponder...

That's all the rambling of my mouth that I got ;)

Have the best day ever, and don't forget...

Have fun!!!

Be playful ;)

Elizabeth

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