Thursday, March 31, 2011

DEEPEST MOMENTS OF DESPAIR PART II ;)

Hello there. The other day I gotta not so nice email. Well, I shouldn't say so nice. I should declare an email from someone who disagreed with me about my last post. Someone who was really defending their despair, and that is okay because that is what we as humans do.

It is normal to defend your unhappiness and grieve and feel horrible, but when you want to feel better, and when you want to lighten the load on yourself, you can tell another story. That's all I am saying.

No thoughts are neutral. Your thoughts either help you or hurt you. 

So, saying things like, "I can't, I won't, I couldn't, I shouldn't, I could never, or I wouldn't."  Then, you may be hurting yourself. Actually, scratch the 'may be' because you are hurting yourself.

If you say, "I can, I will, I believe, I have hope, I can handle it, or this is a lesson learned."  Then, you are helping yourself.

When people are angry, anxious, or depressed, they often think that they are not having thoughts that make them mad, nervous, or sad because that is how unaware of our thoughts we really are. 

I know this is true because after I speak to someone and explore the mood of the mind, while negative emotions are being experienced, we discover what is really going on in their life. The conclusion always points to thoughts creating feelings.

An example of this is anxiety attacks. When someone has an anxiety attack, and I am speaking to them, calming them down, they often believe that they do not have any anxiety. They will say, "But I am not anxious about anything."  After exploring, we always discover their doubt, fear, and worry.

I talk about meditation and quieting the mind because we can relax and be more in tune with our thoughts. When we quiet our minds, we can be aware of our thoughts.

When we write down what we want, we can remind ourselves what we should think or focus on.

So, your story, is it hurting you or helping you? That is the question.

The email I got talked about the horrible things this person is experiencing, and I know there is help in the story we tell.

You know?!? We all have horrible things that happen to us, depending on how we handle what is given to us. I have heard the famous story, "Oh, you don't know what I have been through, and others haven't been through as much as I have."  Well, maybe, maybe not. Or, maybe people just tell their story more positively, maybe as a lesson learned or a positive outcome instead of a dramatic tragedy.  

Life is not a competition; it is creativity on how to change your thoughts or story so that you can change your despair to comfort. 

Many people tell the story, "There is a purpose for everything,"  and I don't really know about that, but I do know, "There is a lesson in EVERYTHING we experience."

Anywho, I got another email telling me that writing something down on a card, an idea from my last post, won't help, and I say, try it and then tell me if it doesn't help. Try it for at least 30 days, and if you are brave enough, 90 days or even a year.

The thing is... You gotta be willing to love yourself enough to do something for yourself. You gotta be inclined to believe in yourself enough to know your value and worth. You cannot and will not get your value and worth from anyone but yourself. You can and will get short-term, temporary feelings of significance, but you can and will only get permanent feelings of worthiness from yourself! 

Well, you and God, anyway.

Consider it.

That's all the rambling I got ;)

Have the best day ever, and don't forget...

Have fun!!!

Be playful ;)

Elizabeth