Destress Your Anger

Destressing anger is what I would like to examine this day.

Hello my friend! Happy Friday! Are you ready for your weekend? I know I am...

So... I wanna discuss anger a little bit because anger is a very stressful habit and if you are struggling with it, the weekend is the best time to contemplate what the heck is going on for you.

Possibly you are experiencing anger because of your work place, and that is, and can be very stressful.

There are a whole lot of people who are angry out there, and sometimes they don't even know they are angry. Other times they think anger is okay. But the worst thing of all is angry people think it is necessary to get angry.

Well, I am here to tell you that anger is absolutely unnecessary, and going off on someone because of anger is not okay.

Just in case you didn't know, it is not okay to go off on someone when you lose your temper. In reality, it's not okay to go off on anyone. It's quite ridiculous actually. 

Have you ever seen someone lose it over something very minor as if their life was threatened? Do you blow your fuse over insignificant things?

"Losing it," is not okay, wouldn't you agree?

Not only is losing control of anger not okay and unnecessary, it is very unhealthy.

Any negative emotion creates unhealthy shifts in your body and releases toxic hormones, and that is a big part of why people get sick.

But! Anger just doesn't hurt you, it hurts the people around you as well. And guess what? If you are an angry one, people most likely do not want to be around you. You may think that is not a bad thing but when it comes to work, if people don't want to be around you it could lead to termination of your employment.

So what do you do if you are an angry one? 

How do you destress yourself from anger?

I have not a clue! Just kidding.


Count to ten? Joking...

But seriously!

Like with any bad habit, we must have to know that it is a problem, know we may surrender it, and then replace it with a successful practice.

Sounds pretty simple but not necessarily easy.

Once upon a time, a long long time ago, I worked on an ambulance with a super duper allie ooper angry person. This guy... I have to laugh out loud as I look back at this but, this guy was so angry that his anger spread to me. Meaning... his anger was contagious and I found myself being angry.

This was way before I began to study stress relief.

Thank goodness I didn't work with this guy for long. Anyway, looking back, I recognized that I was angry a lot, and for no reason. After I began to notice this, I would ask myself, "why are you getting so angry?" When I asked myself that silly little question, right in the middle of my anger I would talk myself out of the anger.

My conversation with myself went something like this, "Why am I so angry? You are getting angry for no reason Elizabeth!" After having that very little dialogue with myself for a while, every time I got angry, the anger went away. Sure I still got angry but now, after practicing for so many years, all of my anger is gone.

You may not believe me and I get that because I use to think anger was necessary. However, anger is a tantrum at the very core level because we are unhappy  that we aren't getting our way. So... I'm laughing out loud right now but... when you are an adult, and you lose your temper, you are just throwing an adult tantrum. When I was an angry person, I was throwing adult tantrums.

Why am I telling you my story of anger? I'm telling you because it might be possible that you may believe you are getting angry from your environment. I'm telling you because your anger might, or has become a habit. I'm telling you because if it is a habit, you can nip that stuff in the bee you tee tee, and eliminate your anger. 

If you have an anger problem know two things; know that it is not okay and know that you can eliminate it.

Have that adult conversation in your head, and remind yourself that it's unnecessary to become angry. I know it sounds silly, but it works. It's called governing your thoughts so that you may govern your emotions.

Wait!!! There's more!

When you become angry, see if you can just observe the anger right when you are in the middle of it. Just pay attention, be the observer, and don't judge it, or beat yourself up for it.

If you monitor your behavior you can talk yourself out of it, or you can do something even funnier. You can start singing a song, a funny song, like rap or something. You may want to sing it in your head, but if it's funnier to you to sing it out loud then go for it!

Remember that Kid Rock song that went, "ball to the ball to the bang to the bang diggy?" Or something like that. I'm laughing out loud again because my son taught me that song years ago, and I knew it by heart, but I don't remember it. 

This will work, I promise you, it will make you laugh and you will be stress free because you replace your anger with laughter and playfulness.

You gotta love it! You gotta love the playfulness in that, don't you?

Something to contemplate over the weekend, if you are angry, is replacing your anger with playfulness. So many people get caught up in anger and forget their playfulness.

Anger is often an unconscious habit, which can be replaced consciously with friskiness. Oh! I like that word! Friskiness!

Say it with me now! Friskiness!!!

Have fun with this!!! Be playful!!! Is there any better way to spend the weekend? NOPE!!!

Well, have fun my friend, and enjoy your weekend.

I love you... I really truly do!

Elizabeth Stanfill 

GIVING THANKS!

Hey everyone!  How are you this Holiday Season?  I hope you are doing FANTABULOUS!

Did you miss me?  I missed you!  It's been nearly four weeks since I've posted.  This is a very busy time of year for me but I love it!

In the Spirit of Thanks Giving, I wanted to say a little about giving thanks.  Many people gather around a table of food, on the fourth Thursday of November, and reflect on what they are thankful for.  It is my belief that we should do that everyday, all day long, and not just on Thanksgiving.

Many years ago, when I was a young Emergency Medical Technician (EMT), I responded on a 911 call to a 6 year-old pedestrian who was hit by a car while he was riding his bike to school.  This was just about the time my son, who was 8, started riding his bike to school.  For those of you who are in the Emergency or Medical field, you understand the significance of the association of a traumatic incident with similarities to your own life.

Any who...  This young boy did not survive.  Closely after this incident, I had a dream that my son fell down the stairs and died.  This particular incident and dream helped me realize how lucky I am to have my son in my life and therefore, from that time on, I rarely spoke, or speak, to him with anger, or with a tone of voice as if I don't like him, because I love him and I am grateful for him.

That particular incident and dream helped me to realize what life is all about.  Life is about happiness, joy, having fun, and being playful.

What I am trying to say is, we shouldn't wait for Thanksgiving, or a traumatic incident, to come around for us to be grateful for what we have. 

Be grateful everyday and show it by the way you think and act.  Think about all the things that you are grateful for and project gratitude towards others.

There are many people I work with who are anxious or sad and one of the biggest reasons is because they have not learned the attitude of gratitude, and that is exactly what I help them with.  The attitude of gratitude is nothing but a successful habit of focusing on what is right and good in your life, and can replace the unhealthy, and stressful habit, of focusing on what you don't have or how life could be better.

For all of you who focus on thinking life should be better than it is just think of what would happen, or how you would really feel, if you lost your ability to see, or hear, or walk, or speak.   Even yet, if you lost your home, or your spouse, or your child, or your job. 

I don't mean to be unkind, and I know of many people who have lost at least one of the things I just mentioned, but I am trying to motivate you, YES YOU!  to give thanks everyday, all day long, so that you may live with happiness, energy, and vitality, no matter what your circumstances are.

It is not our circumstances that stress us out, it is how we think about them that does.

If you can cultivate the habit of seeing all that is great in your life, meaning having the attitude of gratitude, all day, every day, you could and would be the happiest person no matter what your circumstances are.

And that's all I gotta say bout that!

I am grateful for you...

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

Elizabeth