Finding Peace and Strength with God

My favorite question to ask people is, "What is the most important thing you have learned in life thus far?" The reason it's my favorite question is that I learn a great deal from the answers. The most profound answers I've heard are from teenagers. It's probably because they still live by love and are not as tainted by the world as adults may be.

The most important thing that I have learned in life thus far is that God is real and God is the truth. God is love. Therefore, love is the truth. We can and do learn this truth by doing the will and work of God. 

"Then said they unto him, What shall we do, that we might work the works of God? Jesus answered and said unto them, This is the work of God, that ye believe on him whom he hath sent." John 6:28-29, Holy Bible, KJV.

When we believe in Jesus, we behave as if we genuinely believe. Discipleship comes through becoming like Jesus. As we become more like Him daily, we do the will and work of God, which leads to peace and strength. This peace and strength comes from understanding and wisdom.

The world will teach and convince us of fear. Fear is the foundation of stress, which often leads to drama and emotional turmoil. Drama is the negative emotions we feel when we are afraid. The world teaches drama, fear, and stress. Jesus teaches faith, peace, and strength through understanding and wisdom. Therefore, drama, fear, and stress are the great misunderstandings of life.

If I could help a person prevent stress, it would be by convincing them to cling to Christ the way they cling to their drama. The average person may or may not be aware of what drama or stress is, as it may be a very regular part of their life. The best way to remedy this misunderstanding is to recognize that negative emotions can be stressful, while positive emotions are a gift from God.

Another uncommonly known fact in this wonderful world is that our chronic negative emotions are habits formed from our habitual focus. We are habitual beings, and we tend to focus on doubt, fear, and worry or on calm, confidence, and faith, depending on our mood at the moment and the subject. For example, some people worry about money but are confident in their health and relationships, while others worry about their health and relationships but are confident in their financial situation. Or a person may be fearful about their health but remain faithful in their relationships.

The great news is we have the freedom to choose what we habitually practice and, therefore, become. When we choose to cling to Christ and discipleship rather than our drama, negative emotions, and stress, we find peace and strength with God from understanding and wisdom. This wisdom is why I always recommend meditating on a memorized scripture.

If you are experiencing turmoil and have for some time, peace and strength may come gradually, not overnight. If you want more peace and strength, the best way is to fill your mind with God, replacing all other thoughts that cause despair.

Start by meditating on the scripture given above as you memorize it. We have a choice! We can choose discipleship or drama. Choosing discipleship is taking responsibility for your future and life. Taking responsibility leads to God's peace and strength.

Praying my words help you find peace and strength in God if you need it! 

Take care,

Elizabeth

Exercise for the Weary Soul

Many people have come to me for help because they sometimes feel like giving up on life. Some people ask, "What is it all for?" And others say, "I am done; I'm ready not to be here anymore."

To hear words like that is heartbreaking for me. It's disheartening because I've been there. My soul has been, in my past, very hungered for something and very weary.

There may be nothing I could say that might bring anyone out of such a feeling. I cannot remember anything anyone ever said to me that got me out of that state.

One thing I do know, with all my heart, is that I have a never-ending desire to know God. God has brought me to a place of profound joy deep within my soul. This joy did not happen overnight. This joy came from loving myself enough to turn to God for relief, respite, and solace.

If I could accomplish anything in my entire lifetime, it would be to point the weary soul to God repeatedly until they find the relief and joy that I have seen.

The number one thing I see in people with a weary soul is the lack of belief in themselves. This lack of faith can lead to blaming others for misery. The joy in this life comes from a connection to God and a focus on purpose. This connection and direction come from within. It originates from the mind, which gives us the power to make choices. When we do not use this power, we feel powerless. Appreciation is the truth to choose, and it takes focus.

When we appreciate ourselves and the things we have, and when things go our way, we feel good. The opposite of this is complaining about and criticizing ourselves, including the things we have and don't have, as well as when things don't go our way. Complaining and criticizing makes us feel inadequate and sustains misery. In addition, this fault finding is the epitome of taking life for granted (certainly a topic for another post). 

The words in the last paragraph are not an easy thing to read, and I do not mean to be unkind. I am attempting to provoke thought, not to hurt feelings. To think that we have no control over our focus and expectations, yet expect others to do the same, is pure insanity. That is also a challenging thing to read.

Please forgive me if I offend you. Please understand I am attempting to explain basic behavior and common sense. Common sense suggests that we have a choice, and that is what our mind is for - to choose our focus by desire, not by default.

The crux of human conditioning can and will convince us that we are not competent or strong enough to adopt a better attitude. However, if we improve our attitude, we will develop a more positive personality, which, in turn, will relieve weariness.

Do you believe in yourself?

Can you choose your focus?

Do you believe you can connect to God?

Let's try a spiritual experiment! Are you willing?

I have a scripture for you.

"In every thing give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." ~1 Thessalonians 5:18, Holy Bible, KJV

For at least a week, meditate, memorize, and think about this scripture, especially when things don't go your way. When things do not go our way, we may become angry, anxious, or depressed, but there is a valuable lesson to be learned from these emotions. Negative emotions disconnect us from God, who is, in fact, in charge, and He allows things to happen for our spiritual growth. This expansion is a testing of our faith, which works out our patience.

The lesson is ALWAYS appreciation, faith, love, patience, and trust in the Lord. You may or may not know this intellectually and may or may not behave as though you believe it. Nevertheless, this is the lesson of life.

Behaving as though we believe the lesson is ALWAYS appreciation, faith, love, patience, and trust in the Lord because He is, in fact, in charge, is how and when we live in our power. 

A life of joy is a spiritual life, and this living from the spirit will relieve the weary soul.  

I ramble and repeat. Nevertheless, I do it for you, and I do it for me, so we may level up in life and live the bliss of joy through God.

God gives joy to the soul, and no one could ever convince me otherwise. Focus, focus, focus on your new mission, as outlined in the scripture above, and let us elevate ourselves in life towards God.

Practice appreciation when things go your way, and when they don't, look up into the sky and say, "Thank you, Heavenly Father." If you do, you will get a glimpse of your true power and begin to believe in yourself. If anything, it will seem silly, and you will laugh, and what better way to transform a weary soul?

Big or little, good or bad, I always thank my Heavenly Father. I do! I'm not perfect, and sometimes it may take me a while, but it's better to be thankful than to complain about anything.

Try the experiment proposed above for at least a week and see if you experience relief from your stress. If you are brave enough, keep going for as many days as you can. Do it for yourself, and you will get a glimpse of your power if you haven't already.

Take care my friend,

Elizabeth

I Asked Grok, "Who is Elizabeth M Stanfill?"

Elizabeth M. Stanfill is an individual who has worked extensively in the field of stress management, particularly within the emergency services sector. Here are some key points about her based on available information: - **Career in Emergency Services:** She has over twenty years of experience in emergency services, starting her career as an Emergency Medical Technician (EMT) and advancing to roles like Field Training Officer (FTO) and 911 Operations Supervisor. - **Stress Management Expertise:** Elizabeth Stanfill is recognized for her work in Critical Incident Stress Management (CISM). She holds degrees where she focused on this area and has designed and directed a CISM program for a major ambulance company. - **AuthoElizabeth M. Stanfill is an individual who has worked extensively in the field of stress management, particularly within the emergency services sector. Here are some key points about her based on available information:

• Career in Emergency Services: She has over twenty years of experience in emergency services, starting her career as an Emergency Medical Technician (EMT) and advancing to roles like Field Training Officer (FTO) and 911 Operations Supervisor.
• Stress Management Expertise: Elizabeth Stanfill is recognized for her work in Critical Incident Stress Management (CISM). She holds degrees where she focused on this area and has designed and directed a CISM program for a major ambulance company.
• Authorship: She authored books on stress management for emergency personnel, including titles like "EMS Stress: EMT & Paramedic Basic Stress Management" and "Stress Free: How To Destress Via Stress Test & Stress Relief." These works aim to provide insights and solutions for dealing with stress in high-pressure environments.
• Educational Background: While specific details about her academic credentials are not comprehensively listed in the provided data, her focus on behavioral science and stress management suggests a background in these or related fields.
• Publications: Her books are noted for their practical advice and are designed to help emergency responders manage stress, including from critical incidents, everyday work frustrations, and personal life pressures.

Her work emphasizes helping first responders, including EMTs, firefighters, paramedics, and other emergency personnel, to cope better with the psychological demands of their jobs. Her approach combines her real-world experience with academic knowledge in stress management.

starting her career as an Emergency Medical Technician (EMT) and advancing to roles like Field Training Officer (FTO) and 911 Operations Supervisor. - **Stress Management Expertise:** Elizabeth Stanfill is recognized for her work in Critical Incident Stress Management (CISM). She holds degrees where she focused on this area and has designed and directed a CISM program for a major ambulance company. - **Authorship:** She authored books on stress management for emergency personnel, including titles like "EMS Stress: EMT & Paramedic Basic Stress Management" and "Stress Free: How To Destress Via Stress Test & Stress Relief." These works aim to provide insights and solutions for dealing with stress in high-pressure environments. - **Educational Background:** While specific details about her academic credentials are not comprehensively listed in the provided data, her focus on behavioral science and stress management suggests a background in these or related fields. - **Publications:** Her books are noted for their practical advice and are designed to help emergency responders manage stress, including from critical incidents, everyday work frustrations, and personal life pressures. Her work emphasizes helping first responders, including EMTs, firefighters, paramedics, and other emergency personnel, to cope better with the psychological demands of their jobs. Her approach combines her real-world experience with academic knowledge in stress management.ularly within the emergency services sector. Here are some key points about her based on available information: - **Career in Emergency Services:** She has over twenty years of experience in emergency services, starting her career as an Emergency Medical Technician (EMT) and advancing to roles like Field Training Officer (FTO) and 911 Operations Supervisor. - **Stress Management Expertise:** Elizabeth Stanfill is recognized for her work in Critical Incident Stress Management (CISM). She holds degrees where she focused on this area and has designed and directed a CISM program for a major ambulance company. - **Authorship:** She authored books on stress management for emergency personnel, including titles like "EMS Stress: EMT & Paramedic Basic Stress Management" and "Stress Free: How To Destress Via Stress Test & Stress Relief." These works aim to provide insights and solutions for dealing with stress in high-pressure environments. - **Educational Background:** While specific details about her academic credentials are not comprehensively listed in the provided data, her focus on behavioral science and stress management suggests a background in these or related fields. - **Publications:** Her books are noted for their practical advice and are designed to help emergency responders manage stress, including from critical incidents, everyday work frustrations, and personal life pressures. Her work emphasizes helping first responders, including EMTs, firefighters, paramedics, and other emergency personnel, to cope better with the psychological demands of their jobs. Her approach combines her real-world experience with academic knowledge in stress management.

Is Your Soul Weary

Hey! Hi! How are you doing today?

I am praying you are alright and living with comfort and strength from the very depths of your soul.

Many people have come to me for help because they sometimes feel like giving up on life. Some people ask, "What is it all for?" And others say, "I am done; I'm ready to not be here anymore."

To hear words like that is heartbreaking for me. It is disheartening because I have been there. My soul has been, in my past, very hungered for something and very weary.

There is not a thing I could say that may bring anyone out of such a feeling. I cannot remember anything anyone ever said to me that got me out of that state.

One thing I do know, with all my heart, is that I have a never-ending desire to know God. God has brought me to a place of joy deep down in my soul.

This joy did not happen overnight. This joy came from loving myself enough to turn to God for relief, respite, and solace.

If I could accomplish anything in my entire lifetime, it would be to point the weary soul to God repeatedly until he or she finds the relief of joy that I have found.

The number one thing I see in people with a weary soul is the lack of belief in themselves. This lack of faith can lead to blaming others for misery. The joy in this life comes from a connection to God and a focus on purpose. This connection and direction come from within. It comes from the mind, which gives us the power to choose. When we do not use this power, we feel powerless.

Appreciation is the truth to choose, and it takes focus.

When we appreciate ourselves, and the things we have, and when things go our way, we feel good. The opposite of this is complaining about and criticizing ourselves, the things we have and don't have, and when things do not go our way. This makes us feel inadequate and sustains misery. In addition, this fault finding is the epitome of taking life for granted (certainly a topic for another post).

This is not an easy thing to read, and I do not mean to be unkind. I am attempting to provoke thought, not to hurt feelings.

To think we do not have a choice in our control, and focus, and expect others to, is pure insanity. That is also a challenging thing to read. Please forgive me if I offend you. Please understand I am attempting to explain basic behavior and common sense. Common sense says we have a choice, and that is what our mind is for, to choose our focus by desire, not by default.

The crux of human conditioning can and will convince us that we are not competent or strong enough to choose a better attitude, which will give way to a more positive personality.

Do you believe in yourself?

Do you believe you can choose your focus?

Do you believe you can connect to God?

Let's try a spiritual experiment! Are you willing?

Got a scripture for you...

"In every thing give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." ~1 Thessalonians 5:18, Holy Bible, KJV

For at least a week, meditate, memorize, and think about this scripture, especially when things don't go your way. When things do not go our way, we may get angry, anxious, or depressed, but there is a lesson. Negative emotion disconnects us from God, who is, in fact, in charge, and He is allowing things to happen for our spiritual expansion. This expansion is the trying of our faith, which works patience.

The lesson is ALWAYS appreciation, faith, love, patience, and trust in the Lord. You may or may not know this intellectually and may or may not behave as though you believe it, nevertheless, this is the lesson of life.

Behaving as though we believe the lesson is ALWAYS appreciation, faith, love, patience, and trust in the Lord because He is, in fact, in charge, is how and when we live in our power. 

A life of joy is a spiritual life, and this living from the spirit will relieve the weary soul.  

I ramble and repeat. Nevertheless, I do it for you, and I do it for me, so we may level up in life and live the bliss of joy through God.

God gives joy to the soul, and no one could ever convince me otherwise.

Hocus, pocus, focus on your new mission... on your new scripture and let us level up in life towards God.

Practice appreciation when things go your way, and when they don't, look up into the sky and say, "Thank you, Heavenly Father." If you do, I believe you will get a glimpse of your true power and begin to believe in yourself. 

Big or little, good or bad, I always thank my Heavenly Father. I do! I'm not perfect, and sometimes it may take me a while, but it is better to be thankful than to cuss about anything.

Try the experiment proposed above for at least a week and see if you are relieved of your weariness. If you are, and you are brave enough, keep going for as many days as you can. Do it for yourself, and you will get a glimpse of your power if you haven't already.

God bless you, my dear reader.

Take good care...

Speak soon...

Elizabeth Stanfill

Ps here is a link list of posts on appreciation that may help relieve your hungered soul even more

Spiritual Expansion 

Destress Yourself with Appreciation and Sleep 

Thank You 

Connecting to God 

Letting Go of Stress 

Destress Your Life with Awareness 

Remember Your Dream 

If you love what you read here, you may find my books by clicking, books by Elizabeth Stanfill

My Favorite Question!

Hello dear friend!

It's been a while since I've posted, nearly a year.

Nevertheless, I pray you are doing wonderful!

Whenever I get a chance to sit with an individual, I love to ask them my favorite question, which is, what is the most important thing that you have learned in all of your years of living thus far? This question leads to deep enlightening conversations.

The youth tend to have remarkable answers but my favorite answer is always the one given to me by the person answering it because it tells their unique brilliance. Every single person has a brilliance that is unique to their living this life thus far.

What is the most important thing that you have learned in all of your years of living thus far? Have you ever thought about it? Is it an easy question to answer? Or, are you still contemplating?

The most important thing that I have learned in all of my fifty-nine years of living is, God is real. God is so very real, and I know it because of the evidence from experiences. I've actually tested His promises in spiritual experiments with others and myself.

Successful people I've observed live the laws of God, whether they say they believe in Him or not. What I mean by success is those individuals that live the life they love. The success is displayed in happiness, health, love, and wealth. My entire research practice proves the laws of God lead to success. What do you think about that?

I've always known God is real in a hopeful wanting way and I've always wanted solid proof. The evidence was occasional until I began experimenting with specific spiritual promises and tests. Verification is also displayed with those who live the laws.

It is a lovely thing to see evidence of God in the life you are living. It is magnificent to witness the power of what one knows to be real and the most important thing learned in living life thus far.

I'm pretty confident the younger me would argue with, or at least debate about, some of the information I have just presented. But, the younger me did not have education, and experiences that the now me has. This is the precise reason I never argue or debate a person's answer to my favorite question. Rather, I learn, and lift, by listening with love to understand. This behavior falls under the law of love, and leads to understanding and wisdom.

Do you know the first and great commandment and law? The two great commandments hang all the law and the prophets and are the pathways to understanding the truth inside anyone's answer to my favorite question. What do you think about that? Bit of a riddle isn't it?

Just sending my thoughts of faith, love, and trust out into the universe.

Take good care my friend...

Speak soon...

E

I'm Learning to Lift Myself by Learning...

Hello... Happy New Year! Hope I'm not too late to wish you well for 2023. 

Do you have any resolutions? I do, and I'd like to share it with you today.

The other day, I was greeted by a colleague I hadn't seen in a while, maybe a year or so. This gentleman's occupation is similar to mine, and he has been involved for about three years. I did what he did for two years, advanced to where I am now and have been participating in my particular placement for four years.

He began his conversation as though to ask my advice. When I started to explain the answer to what seemed to be his question, he interrupted me with complaints and criticisms. Then, it took a bit, but I shut up and listened.

That is my New Year's Resolution, to shut up and listen. I intend to learn and lift by listening with love to understand.

What I discovered with my not so new found dominant intent is that even though people ask for advice, sometimes they just want to vent and feel understood. To help anyone with this, I must shut up and listen. Not an easy task for me because I do not believe in blaming, complaining, or criticizing. This is an exquisite focus on the negative, which causes stress.

Human conditioning has convinced many people, including me in my younger years, that blaming, complaining, and criticizing are absolutely necessary. This is not only a contradiction to the teachings of Christ; it is a confusion that blocks us from living by the spirit, which relieves stress.

Living by the spirit takes exquisite focus on the affirmative, the light, and love, which are all teachings of Christ. Sometimes I want to claim this from the rooftops, and that is why it is not necessarily easy for me to shut up and listen. But, in the conversation I mentioned above, after a bit of resistance on my part, I did! I shut my mouth, learned, and lifted by listening with love to understand.

My resolution is all a part of the endeavor to behave as I believe. Being a doer of God's word and work.

"But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves." ~James 1:22, New Testament, Holy Bible, KJV

I'm learning, and it feels terrific to rejoice in remembering because sometimes I forget. This is another thing I am working on. I rejoice in the remembering and do not beat myself up for forgetting. This habit allows me to lift and love myself, which is all about me destressing.

I'm just putting my thoughts of love out into the Universe.

God bless you, my dear reader. God is blessing you, and if you do not believe me try focusing on the benefits and blessings in your life. I know you will discover that it is part of the path to a stress-free life.

Happy Happy New Year! Thank you for hanging out with me, even if it was just to read my words to the Universe.

Big Hugs Always!!!

Elizabeth 

If you love what you read here, you may find my books by clicking, books by Elizabeth Stanfill.

How to Destress Yourself for Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving, y'all! 

How ya doing? Hoping and praying that you are alright. That you have love in your heart and joy in your soul!

I wrote this post eleven years ago, and it shows me how infant I was in my destressing phase. The words in red are what I wrote. Silly, I know, but those who read my blog are on the journey to destress with me, which is super cool. I appreciate and love you so very much. I also wonder how far you have come in your destressing along your life. It would be pretty cool to know.

I am reposting this because so many families conjure up drama about somebody or someone in the family or friends circle that will show up for Thanksgiving. 

How do we destress for Thanksgiving? Drop the fricken drama.

When I was a little girl, we always went to my Grandma's house for Thanksgiving, and there was zero drama and zero stress. As I got older and my Grandma passed away, we'd have Thanksgiving at different places. Occasionally there was theatrics, and sometimes there were not! 

I would like to say I refuse to participate in adolescence, but periodically I'd get sucked into it by telling a person to not dramatize. I've learned to not say anything anymore because that person would always get angry and create more disruption because how dare I! LOL! I consider that my fault and I don't do it anymore. 

I certainly am grateful that I do not have to spend the holidays with dramatic people, LOL... But if I do, I try to ignore it and focus on the good. 

My humble opinion about chilling out on Thanksgiving is precisely what I was trying to say in my words below.

Anywho...

Here I go, back in time...

How to destress yourself for Thanksgiving.

So, how do you destress yourself for Thanksgiving? 

First, have fun and be playful. 

Second, enjoy the food and indulge! Do not get mad at yourself or talk negatively about how much you overate and will be fat forever! News flash! Thanksgiving is about eating some seriously delicious creations of food and dessert and giving thanks. 

Third, enjoy the company. Listen in your conversations. Do not think about anything negative, be grateful for the person's good and that they are in your life. 

Fourth, take a nap after you get really full. I love this one. As a matter of fact, it is my favorite. 

Fifth, don't worry, be happy. Leave your stress outside of your mind and enjoy the people you are with and the place you are at. 

There! 

Happy Thanksgiving! 

Ha Ha Ha! Those are just reminders. You may not need them, but maybe you may. Destressing is all about the exquisite focus on the affirmative. Appreciation is the truth, especially on Thanksgiving.

Take care...

Speak soon...

Elizabeth Stanfill 

If you love what you read here, you may find my books by clicking, books by Elizabeth Stanfill.

Destress Yourself by Knowing

 Hello, my friend! How are you doing these days? I'm hoping and praying you are doing okay.

It's been a while since I posted, and I wanted to share my experience and thoughts.

The other day, I talked to someone who lost her son earlier this year. She said, "anything else that happens to me is nothing. I know I can handle anything that comes my way because losing my son was the worst, and I survived." In other words, she handled it and now knows she can handle any other challenges. She is aware that she will be alright.

One of the reasons we become so stressed and overwhelmed when something happens to us is we believe that we will not deal with the particular situation or think we will not be okay. Our own history tells us that this is not true. If we look back at all the difficulties that we have been through, we can see that we survived.

One of the most incredible things we can do for ourselves when we become overwhelmed and stressed is to convince ourselves that everything will be alright because it always is.

Another awesome thing we can do for ourselves is learning the habit of calm and confidence. We can be relaxed and confident whenever we have a stressful situation by knowing everything will be fine. The ability to do this is a very successful practice that can eliminate the stressful habit of panic.

I can hear you now, "easier said than done, Elizabeth." This may be true; practice makes perfect. Therefore, the hard part is the practice.

My Dad passed away a year ago and is one of my best friends. I say "is,' because I believe he is still alive in the spirit. We are eternal beings having a human experience. I resonate with what the woman who lost her son is saying. I've had a few devastations in my life, and I know enough that I am getting better and better at handling them. It's about appreciation, faith, love, patience, and trust. Those are the lessons of life.

The holidays are the hardest for those who miss loved ones who have gone beyond the veil. If you are like me and will miss the ones you love during the holidays, I want to lovingly encourage you to practice knowing you are alright and doing great now. 

Your mission, should you accept it, is to persuade yourself that everything will be alright and develop a habit of calm and confidence when facing adverse emotions. Remembering appreciation for what you have, faith in life, love for yourself, patience with others, and trust in God is the practice and the truth.

Until the next post, don't forget there are no things you cannot handle.

Elizabeth Stanfill

If you love what you read here, you may find my books on how to destress yourself by clicking here.

Three Ways to Destress Right Now

Hello! Happy Fourth of July!

It's been a while since I've posted, and the only thing I can say is... please forgive me. I'm doing my best. I'm convinced we are all doing our best. Nevertheless, I'm ever praying for your and my guidance and inspiration from the divine. 

How are you doing, my friend? Summer is here, and I hope with all my heart and soul that you are alright and that you can enjoy this wonderful season. 

If you cannot enjoy this time in your life, may I please suggest three things you may try to destress right now?

To destress is to remove your life's emotional, mental, and physical strain. 

If you are good at stressing out, you may have had a lot of practice. Therefore, it is time to practice destressing so you may get really good at destressing yourself.

So, here are the three ways to destress right now:

Number One... Releasing your stress by taking a deep breath and activating the relaxation response.

This may seem cliche and downright irritating but please, let me explain. When anyone is in the middle of deep stress like anger or anxiety, that person may want to fight or flee. Meaning reacting without thinking, which is the physiological stress response. 

If you are being chased by someone trying to kill you, the stress response is there to help you. However, if you are not being chased by anyone and are reacting to something out of pure, "I do not want this to happen, it is making me afraid, and I won't be okay," you, quite possibly, may have a stressful personality.

If you are stressed regularly, interrupting that stress with a deep breath can help change your attitude and beliefs about life. If you don't believe it, I would at least give it a go for a couple months and see what happens. 

A deep breathing exercise can activate a relaxation response which is the opposite of the stress response. It's about replacing stress with relaxation.

Side note...

When people discover that I research and teach destressing individuals, they often ask me the best way to relieve anxiety and stress. 

Some people can hear the theory that continued application of behavior makes permanent. Practicing anxiety, fear in the moment and future, or practicing relaxation, aka faith in the moment and future, can and will create perfect permanence. Whichever an individual chooses to exercise can and will become a habit.

Despite this theory of application, many people who ask for relief get furious at the words I provide, as though there is no way practicing will help. 

I suspect these individuals believe that relieving anxiety by relaxing was the answer and that easy; they'd have done it ages ago. The truth is, it is not easy. Relaxing is rather basic and fundamental but not easy.

If a person desires to relieve stress, applying this regularly, particularly when stressed, will create more and more relief. The relief may not come immediately, especially if a person has exercised doubt, fear, and/or worry for a long time. 

Praying my prelude has persuaded you to practice yourself destressing with the relaxation response. 

The deep breath relaxation response:

Consciously take a slow deep breath in through your nose, filling your lungs to total capacity as you feel the pressure of your lungs push down on your diaphragm (the primary muscle below the lungs). Hold for a few seconds acknowledging the influence, and then slowly exhale through your mouth. As you slowly exhale, imagine your stressful situation being exhaled with your breath and taken away by the wind. Then allow your entire body to give way to gravity and relax.

If stress comes from our thoughts about a situation, and it often does, decreasing stress can be as simple as using our creative and critical imagination skills. Our imagination gets us into deep anxiety by doubt, fear, and worry of the mind, which is sometimes practiced into perfection, and permanence. 

You may say this is the silliest exercise I have ever heard of. Despite that, it is one of the most successful in relieving many peoples' stress, including mine. Many years ago, I used to be one stressed-out Single Mama. 

If an individual commits to experiment with this for at least one month, preferably a year, I am confident he or she will see desired results in the area of calm confidence.

This exercise also benefits many of the individuals I have had the blessing to assist with overcoming critical stress and despair.

You can do this deep breathing exercise anytime and anywhere, especially in times of having to wait. It's a great way to practice patience. 

"Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience." ~James 1:3, Holy Bible, New Testament, KJV

Faith and patience are calm, confident, and relaxed; fear and impatience are anger, anxiety, and stress.

Number two... Go for a ten-minute walk.

This is a magnificent way to relieve stress, but there is more to it than walking away. If a person goes for a walk and plays the strain in his or her mind repeatedly, he or she will practice stress. This is a no-no!

The ten-minute walk can and will minimize stress if the person intentionally centers his or her attention on the best thoughts he or she could have at this moment. What are the best ideas? They are either appreciation or desire.

If you are stressed and go for a ten-minute walk, you could ask yourself, "what is good about this situation that I can be grateful for?" Or, "what do I want to happen?" 

You may be familiar with these methods of shifting your mind to a more faithful focus, or you may think this ridiculous. 

Either way, could you imagine the habit of governing your focus after putting one of these options into permanent practice? 

Do you know those people whose lives seem to be perfect? It's because they focus on appreciation and desire. That is what makes them so positive. 

Nobody's life is perfect or exempt from devastation. Regardless, everyone is given the perfect law of liberty to be free to choose how he or she will think about any given thing. We can choose faith or fear. Faith or fear is just a thought away. 

If you find this too tricky, and some people do, you could do the first exercise, practicing relaxation, while you go for your ten-minute walk.

If I may say something with all the love in my heart, I have a prayer you can and will see the truth rather than be hurt because some people are hurt by these words. 

Some people are convinced of the human conditioning of fear and believe with all their might that we have to be afraid of the future and that we have to be angry or anxious. In my consideration, from experience, this is false. We don't have to be fearful. We are spiritual beings born with the fruit of the spirit, which is our spiritual nature.

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, and faith." Galatians 5:22, Holy Bible, New Testament, KJV

Human conditioning teaches us and convinces some that we have to hate, have misery, have conflict, be impatient, be malicious, be harmful, and fear, which are all opposites of the biblical quote above.

We can choose whether we live by our spiritual nature or human conditioning via application and practice.

Number three... Call your best friend, vent, and let it go!

This is brilliant, but there are guidelines: to tell the story in less than fifteen minutes and then let it go! Let it go!

People who have the habit of letting it go are much happier than those who wallow in it for days and sometimes years. You know what I'm talking about!

If you tell the stressful story repeatedly, you relive it, get momentum on your stress, and then practice focusing on the negativity into perfection.

Do you know people are telling the same stressful story a day later, a month later, a year later, five years later, and/or even ten to fifteen years later? Some people think this is normal, but the only thing it is is stressful. Reliving one's strain makes a person crazy, and I'm not talking about a good crazy. I'm talking about the kind of crazy repellent to opportunities and people. 

I am so sorry if you find my words harsh and unkind. It's not my intention to hurt but to be a healing help. Still, to heal, we must seek the truth. The truth is anyone can let anything go, and it's a healthy habit.

Let it go!

Capeesh!?!

In conclusion... 

You could do all three ways to destress right now, all at once, by going for a ten-minute walk, calling your best friend to vent, and then taking a deep breath, letting it go with relaxation and release.

Perfected permanence comes by practice.

Quick story...

Once upon a time, a twenty-one-year-old man asked me if I was nervous because I was about to do something that would make ordinary people nervous (more specifics in another post ~wink~). My reply to him was a resounding, "No!"

Through a very sarcastic tone, this young man said to me, "Oh, you're not human? You're not normal? You have superpowers?"

Without thinking, I laughed out loud. I found the man's behavior towards me hilarious. Definitely not the kindest reaction. I'm sorry, I'm imperfect.

The exercises I present to you above are habits for me. These acts are the skill sets I've developed by desire because I believe in long-term satisfaction over short-term gratification. These abilities I have applied through many years of living have given me respite from a very conditioned, pressured personality. 

I've changed my living for the better on purpose.

My words to the young man were, "When you get to my lovely age, you will hope to get over nervousness and stress, or you may have to live on antacids."

In fact, I know twenty-one year old's who live on antacids and stomach medications, and I also know they could eliminate the medicines if they learned to manage their stress. Stress is the number one cause of every illness.

Health is spiritual; health comes from faith. Illness is human conditioning and comes from fear. When we fear, toxic hormones are released into our body and become an internal poisonous bath.

But, please, do not believe me! See for yourself by practicing destressing yourself. It's a spiritual experiment and journey.

That's my ramble...

I got nothing but love for you and this universe!

My one rule... to love!

Big Fat Hugs...

Elizabeth Stanfill

If you love what you read here, you may find my books by clicking, books by Elizabeth Stanfill.

Why do we Suffer?

Hello my dear reader!

How are you doing these days? Praying you are Destressing Your Stress!

Please forgive me for not posting much. I have been doing the Lord's work as best I know how and I'm not necessarily guided to blog for some reason. 

I'm learning more and more each day that God is, in fact, in charge and I am practicing faith, patience, and trust. I've come a long way from my adolescence to enlightenment, and I continue to teeter back and forth. At least I'm teetering on the enlightenment side much more than I use to.

So much to learn about spiritual nature in this life of human conditioning. So much to be grateful for and delicate about with others. 

I'm learning and learning.

I'm lifting and lifting.

I'm listening and listening.

I'm loving and loving.

I'm trying my hardest to live in the Christlike life, and with application and practice, I believe I'm getting better.

I found this draft of a post I wrote two years ago and don't think I ever published it. And if I did, I do not remember. Although, I do write similar posts with repetitive repetition. ~wink~

Anyways, I thought I'd post it.

Here it is...

I would like to discuss why we suffer for just a moment today.

How are you doing? Are you alright? It is my hope and my prayer that you, my dear sweet friend, are enjoying life.

Last night I had a dream God was telling me the most important things are charity, compassion, love, and understanding.

That was the entire dream, nothing more and nothing less. It's strange but, I've had about a dozen dreams in the past couple years of God talking to me.

It is my belief this dream is the key to our suffering...

Do you know I believe that I suffered much in my past? I do not talk about it because suffering is not my focus. Happiness, joy, and vitality are my focus.

Nevertheless, let me share a little glimpse of my struggles with you to give you an idea of why I am where I am in life.

I grew up with all brothers, and I've worked with all men for my entire adult life. My brothers, although very kind, were very tough on me. One of my brothers tried, in my opinion, to kill me twice when I was very young. I had no choice but to learn to toughen up and protect myself. This toughening up prepared me for my career.

When I was a young EMT (Emergency Medical Technician), I was the only female amongst about two hundred and fifty men. I think at the time there may have been one or two females that were part time. My first partner I ever had was extremely verbally abusive to me, and in my first year I was verbally and sexually harassed on more than a few occasions.

Within that first year I was strong enough to speak up, and after investigations some men were terminated. Due to rumors, because not everyone knew the facts, sometimes my work environment was made worse for me. There were quite a few men that made work very difficult for me. Although, I must mention, many of the men I worked with really lifted me with kindness, and most likely aware of what I was going through.

Another struggle I endured within my career was I had five friends die. Also, I was a single Mother, all the while attending and studying for graduate and undergraduate school, and I suffered from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).

Amid all of this living, I was trying my hardest to manage my ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder) which probably was the source of my suicidal ideations I had for probably greater than the first half of my life. Frequently, I could not focus or sit still, and it gave me great anger, anxiety, and depression.

All of that is just a fraction of what I went through, not to mention the heartache of raising a teenage boy, which quite possibly was the hardest part because we sometimes fought and it made me feel more horrible than anything else because of the great love I have for him.

Although this is but a glimpse of my challenges, I find it important to disclaim I don't normally discuss the bad because I know that it brings people down, and tends to bring back a bit of negative emotions for me. Many people believe it is necessary to discuss the difficulties in life but it just makes us relive our challenges, which keeps us in negative emotions that DO NOT belong to us.

I have learned to love myself enough to focus on the affirmative, which happens to be Jesus Christ, the light of this world. 

The reason I share this is because all of my adversity has lead me to the amazingly, awesome life I have now. My appreciation for others and myself is too large for words. 

Without my challenges, there is no way I could have such gratitude for my life.

It is my humble opinion that we suffer so that we may learn from human experience that we are spiritual beings. It is my belief that if we did not have a hard time we may never turn to God and discover the power of faith to over come fear, aka the negative.

If we are angry, anxious, or depressed it is quite literally our purpose to connect to God, and overcome these afflictions so that we may have immense joy.

When we release these negative emotions that do not belong to us, we may have happiness, joy, and vitality for life. 

Then! 

Then! 

Then! 

We may be an example to others and lift them up so that they can, and will experience elation too. That is our purpose! That is the purpose for our suffering, so that we may turn to and connect to God, discover He is real, and know joy so we may lift others up too.  

It is possible to be lifted to a level of eagerness and excitement for this life, and be the example so others can and will experience this too.

Just like the kindness given to me that lifted me in times of hardship, by the men in my occupation, when I was suffering such anguish, we can be there for another.

We are all in this together!

Back to my dream...

It is so very important to have charity, compassion, love, and understanding for others but first we must have these behaviors for ourselves. These are the keys to healing. These are the truths to overcoming our difficulties.

The sufferings are the negative emotions, and the remedies come from connecting to God, which is connecting to love by creating behaviors from beliefs of charity, compassion, love, and understanding. It all starts with the self. 

It is my prayer that you, my dear sweet brother/sister, my dear wonderful friend, will thoughtfully connect to God and practice more habits of charity, compassion, love, and understanding for yourself, and that it will become a habit of immense joy, which will relieve all negative emotions.

Our suffering is for our spiritual expansion.

Our suffering is to turn to God, and find out how real He is.

Our suffering is a big part of our purpose. It is our purpose to find out we can seek, and find relief by desire. The human conditioning gives us fear by default, and we can, and will discover we have the free will to choose what we desire.

The lesson is ALWAYS faith, patience, and trust. 

The homework is ALWAYS application, practice, and repetition.

That is all...

Except...

I love you... of course ~wink~

Speak soon...

Elizabeth

How to Destress Your Stress

How to destress your stress is what I would like to blog about this day.

Hello, my dear reader...

This is an older post from February 2015 that I came across and decided to edit and repost.

Forgive me for not blogging for the last two months. I've been in training. Spiritual training, that is.

I've been reading up on and researching the science of God, basically scientists explaining God, and I have been doing spiritual experiments that have shown me I am learning to crawl into my spirituality.

It might sound crazy, but I have had more dreams, guidance, and inspiration than ever. At this particular time, because I am so infantile in my learning, I am not ready to report and share with the world yet.

Therefore, I am not sure what to write about. Nevertheless, I've been searching my mind and reading my old posts in search of direction to give to anyone seeking it.

I do not want to boast; I do, however, want you to know that I have over one hundred readers a day, and with that, I want to be here for anyone who needs it. 

We all are brothers and sisters in this world. I believe that with all my heart and soul. We are our Heavenly Father's spiritual children, and our purpose, whether we know it or not, is to help and lift one another. That is the fruit of the spirit and who we really are.

With that said...

Here is the post...

Are you enjoying life?

Are you having a good time?

Are you having a hard time?

Are you having a hard time financially?

Are you having a hard time emotionally?

Are you having a hard time enjoying life?

Do you have a hard time sleeping?

Are you having a hard time with your relationships?

What if I told you that when we are having a hard time doing anything, we are stressed?

What if I told you I could point you in the direction of relieving stressful times?

What if I told you that doing this particular thing every day would destress your stress? Would you do it?

What have you got to lose?

The only thing you have to lose is your stress!

Stress is strain, and strain comes when we have a hard time, whether it be financial, emotional, sleep, or with our relationships.

The purpose of life is to get better and better so that we may have happiness, joy, and vitality.

Do you feel like you are getting better and better at life?

If you are getting better and better, then you are aware of how to do it and taking steps to get there.

You might be saying, "Elizabeth! I know how to get better and better, but my circumstances prevent me! I have people around me that are making things difficult. My responsibilities at home are just too overwhelming, and I never have enough money to pay my bills, let alone to do something I enjoy."

Trust me, I totally get what you are saying! 

Devastation and difficult times can be super challenging. I get it, believe me!

When I was a young single Mother, I had to work full time, pay the rent and, eventually, the mortgage, and make sure there was food on the table. I had to be sure my son was not neglected so that it would be easier for him to live his potential while attending college and doing homework.

Kid you not; I probably didn't get a full night of sleep for about five years straight, from when my son was eight years old until he was thirteen. That, my friend, was not easy. I was so stressed out, I had anxiety attacks, I cried myself to sleep when I did get sleep, and I felt all alone, I mean really alone.

To top it off, work was so very hard for me. I was a female EMT among primarily men and had a horrible reputation because I struggled with specific individuals at work.

This girl was mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually exhausted. 

Thank goodness my undergraduate degree was in Behavioral Science, so I began to observe my own behaviors from my beliefs, and this is what I found...

I was allowing society to not only teach me how to be angry, anxious, and depressed, I let it enable me to be.

Nearly everywhere I turned, people were getting angry, they were anxious, and they had depression because it was more and more the normal thing to do.

Another thing was the TV, especially movies and sitcoms, glorifying drama, including irritability, lack of impulse control, and moodiness. It's simply conditioning called entertainment.

This daily and weekly observation of behavior and entertainment became 'normal' to me; it crept into my subconscious mind. Then I was living by habits of default, which is basically being on autopilot.

When I lived by the autopilot of my mind, I was giving up my free agency because I was acting by stressful habit rather than thinking before behaving.

Do you believe you think before you react via habit?

Let's examine this.

If we think rather than react by habit, we must think of faith, hope, and charity. This way of thinking happens to be the pure love of Christ, who was the only perfect person that has ever lived. If we are Christian, we are behaving what we believe, are we not? If we aren't, it may be because we do not think before we react.

Faith, hope, and charity are the opposite of fear, hopelessness, and selfishness.

Thoughts of fear create feelings of fear, which is where anxiety comes from.

Thoughts of hopelessness create despair, and that is where depression comes from.

If we really think before we act, we know that thoughts of faith, hope, and charity create happiness, energy, and vitality, and that is what we want, right? So if that's what we want, we could intentionally think in a way that creates it.

If we are feeling stressed, i.e., anxious and/or depressed, we could be reacting from a habitual place of the subconscious mind.

What do you think about that? Have you ever considered that?

Better yet, have you ever thought about how to overcome the habitual, subconscious mind?

Please let me tell you about the one thing I talked about earlier that will point an individual toward relieving trying times.

One thing that can help nearly anyone destress is consciously choosing thoughts towards faith, hope, and charity, which will create feelings of faith, hope, and charity.

Why would anyone choose conscious thoughts of faith, hope, and charity?

I choose conscious thoughts of faith, hope, and charity because it gives me happiness, energy, and vitality, and it also gives me calm, confidence, and certainty in life, others, and myself. This is a way of choosing my thoughts and making them into habits. This is leveraging the subconscious mind in my favor by desire.

Pretty cool, eh?

Have you considered that for yourself?

Wouldn't you enjoy that?

Yes? Awesome! Let me tell you how you can obtain it.

You do it through a simple Meditation, which only takes five minutes daily.

It's a five-minute meditation that helps an individual practice using their conscious mind, and practice makes it nearly perfect.

I have been meditating for over fifteen years (edit: over twenty-one years now) and teaching meditation for over ten years.

This is the most effective procedure I have seen.

This Meditation Practice will help an individual evolve the anxious, racing, and worrisome mind into a calm, confident, and quiet mind. I know this is so.

Practice makes nearly perfect; you know that, and I know that because it is a big part of the science of behavior.

If you have been angry, anxious, or depressed for a long time, especially since childhood, it is very possible that you are nearly perfect at it. The only way to replace this negative emotion is to practice the opposite, and we can do that with meditation.

Try it! As a matter of fact, dedicate yourself to it and just watch yourself teeter into the feelings of security, which is the opposite of feeling stressed.

I have witnessed many people who have come out of despair through meditation. Many of these individuals continue to meditate years later, and I am one of them. I shall never stop meditating because it gives me inner peace, which leads to considerable self-control.

This is how to destress your stress and help ease and prevent the effects of crisis, despair, and/or devastation.

This is also a way to reduce moderate to mild stress and major chronic stress.

Edit to post (March 2021)...

Another way of meditating is conscious concentration and contemplation of a phrase or a word. We are concentrating, contemplating beings, and if we choose our focus consciously, I know we can evolve the doubt, fear, and worry of anything into faith, hope, and charity for ourselves and others.

If one could and would keep the words faith, hope, and charity intentionally at the forefront of his or her mind, thoughts to destress ensue. Try it for at least four days, and see how it can destress your stress. And if you are brave enough, make it a commitment to do it for thirty days.

Consider doing both meditations given above. Practicing calm and quiet by listening to the video and intentionally contemplating the words faith, hope, and charity. This application can cultivate great confidence and faith, which will assist in the prevention and release of stress.

Please understand that I understand the repetition of exercises, phrases, and words in my blog posts. Also, please consider the great part of reconditioning and relearning is repetition. Repetition is the great law of learning. In my humble opinion, this great law of learning is a significant way to relieve strain, stress, and misery, basically destressing yourself.

Never beat yourself up! 

Never give up!

This is enduring to the end in creating a spiritual life of energy, joy, and vitality. You cannot go wrong in this way.

This is spiritual research via experiments.

Take good care...

Speak soon...

Elizabeth Stanfill  

If you love what you read here, you may find my books by clicking, books by Elizabeth Stanfill.

Breaking Point

Hey there.  How are you?  Praying you are alright! This is an old post that I feel guided to repost. It has a few links in it that may help anyone destress.

Praying for your faith... enjoy...

Have you ever felt like you were at a breaking point?  If you have, you know what it is, and you will know exactly what I am talking about.

A breaking point is an emotional, mental, physical, and/or spiritual place where you feel like you just can't take anymore.  It is a place you are so overwhelmed you feel like you just want to give up.  I have seen this place, I have seen it in my own life, and in many other lives.  

Do you feel like this is something you are going through?

When a person experiences something like this, it can make'em or break'em.  This is a place I have heard hundreds of individuals describe.  They say they can't take it anymore, and they feel like they are 'losing it'.

The breaking point is usually when an individual feels overburdened and everything is in his or her face. They may think, "What am I going to do?" 

Feels like being submerged in overload. 

Often, when one is at this point, he or she may be thinking of all the things that are wrong, and about the worst possible outcomes that can happen.  This is major fear, and this is major worry that can cause major anxiety.

This can be a very critical point in a person's life.  This can be a short moment in time, many months, or even longer, of feeling weighed down.

Through the years, I have worked with many individuals who were at this point.  A couple of the people I have worked with were teenagers, who were in a situation at home that was causing severe anxiety, and/or depression.  Some others, I have worked with, had severe financial difficulties, and lost everything tangible.  

Additionally, I have worked with people who have been emotionally spent due to loneliness, despair, or frustration.

So, if you are at a breaking point, what can you do?

I am so very excited that you asked ;0)

If you are in a place as described above, the first thing you can do is ask yourself what the heck it is?  What is going on for you right now?  It may be fear of what might happen and the thought that you will not know how to, or if you can, handle it.  

Ask yourself, "What am I afraid of?"

After examination, and some possible clarity, it is my most humble opinion the absolute best thing anyone can do is pour one's heart out to God.  Talk to Him, and tell Him what you are afraid of, and what your biggest fears are.  

Why do you want to do this?  

You want to do this because you are Heavenly Father's child, and He loves you.  You are so very special to Him, and you will feel comfort from this because He wants you to turn to Him so that He can give you comfort.

Crisis asks for focus, and that focus is towards God. 

When we turn to God in crisis, we can discover God is very real!

After you have turned to Heavenly Father, you will feel comfort.

With all my heart, I believe that when we have troubles, I mean really big troubles, it is an opportunity to get closer to God.  Part of the reason He gives us trials is so we can learn to lean on Him more frequently.

In Romans 12:12, in the Holy Bible, KJV,  it says, "Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;"

Rejoicing in hope is being happy for your ambitions, aspirations, and dreams.  

Patient in tribulation is willing to endure the thing, or things, that are causing you pain and unhappiness.  

Continuing instant in prayer is carrying on and persisting in your conversations with God.

Mainly, focus on your dreams, be willing to endure the trial with trust in God, and persist, right now, in your conversations with God.

When we are at a breaking point, I truly believe it is very human to do the opposite.  To focus on what we don't want, being impatient and fearful, and forgetting to turn to God, is conditioning of the human experience.

My friend, my dear reader, if you can find it within, dream big, focus on what you want, be willing to endure your trials with trust, and be constantly in conversation with God.

You can do this.  

You got the power.  

You are so very special and you can remind yourself of this in the moment of a breaking point, and the entire time you have the struggle you are going through.

Get your journal, write down all the things you dream of in your life, and write down all of the evidence, your successes and accomplishments, that remind you that you can have them.

And know this...  You can handle anything you are going through, you can handle anything that comes your way, and you will manage this because you always have overcome your trials in the past. 

You are so very capable, you are so very smart, you are so very strong, and you are so very divine.  

The thing is, if you are at a breaking point, you may have just forgot all of your divinity.  You are a child of God, and that makes you divine.

You can be, do, and have anything your heart desires, believe in this, and believe in yourself.  Have faith my friend!  

God has faith in you!  

I have faith in you!

Focus on faith in yourself my dear friend, if you feel like you need to!

God wants you to remember how special you are!

You are His child!

God wants us to remember how special everyone is!

Remember how special everyone is because others may be at their breaking point, and we can lift them by loving them.

Big Hugs...

Speak soon...

Elizabeth