The other day, I wrote a post called, WHEN SH*T HITS THE FAN, did you read it? One of the things I talked about was taking care of yourself first. In the post, I talked about taking care of yourself by eating right, and resting, so you can take care of others. There is another part of taking care of yourself that I didn't mention and that is taking care of your happiness.
What the heck does that mean? Good question! Most people know that happiness comes from within. As human conditioning goes, we tend to look for happiness outside of ourselves by feeding a desire for instant gratification like eating, shopping, smoking, drinking, or telling our stories to others.
When we eat, shop, smoke, drink, or tell our story, we are getting some sort of instant gratification from outside ourselves rather than enjoying life from being right here, right now, whereever we may be. Sure we feel good after we eat some comfort food, spend a little money on ourselves, smoke a ciggie, have a drink, or tell our story but the long term satisfaction has no role. When we eat, we get fat. When we spend, we have more crud to clutter our homes with, and debt. When we smoke, we smell, and people judge us harshly provoking the fear of cancer on us (he he he). When we drink, we dehydrate our body, lose all kinds of nutrients, get fatter, and feel like poo poo the next day. When we tell our story we tend to relive our misery, and we become another person that is not enjoying the moment especially if it is a negative story packed full of drama.
What I am trying to say with all this rambling is, when you do "YOU FIRST" you learn to find the happiness within and live your life from there. Where? From within yourself. How do we find happiness within ourselves? We find it by knowing a couple things...
First, we know, without a doubt, that we are bigger than our story and our fleeting moment. We are a soul, a spiritual being that is just experiencing this thing called life, and we are a child of the most high God. Breaks my heart when I speak to people who do not believe in God. It breaks my heart because they have no hope or comfort when a crisis comes and they have no faith in life, and others. For twenty years now I have been helping people on a daily basis deal with crisis and the very few, I mean less than 1%, have absolutely no relief because of their lack of spirituality. The ones who do believe, gain faith, determination, and answers to their prayers much quicker. Just my experience ;0)
Second, there is a place in our mind that we can come to on a regular basis, like a habit, that let's us know that everything we need is right here, right now. This is so true if you search it out in your mind. Logically we know this. So many people say to me, "but I have to worry Elizabeth, there are things that are going to happen to me in the future." Not so! Worry is a choice that becomes a habitual behavior. What is the alternative? Decide what the heck it is that you want, write it down, make a to do list, and then move towards it. I guarantee you will build your confidence (the opposite of worry) in life and yourself.
Third, be grateful for what you have, and focus on that. Okay, so maybe you don't have a lot of money, or you don't have the spouse you want, or you don't have the life you dream of. How can anyone enjoy life if they are focused on what they don't have? Focus is just another choice that becomes a habitual behavior. Guess what? You gotta whole lotta! You have your health, your lungs, your heart, your arms, your legs, your eyes, your ears, and your taste buds. ;0) And if you don't have one of those, you still have plenty of things to be grateful for. When we focus on what we are worried about, we create anxiety, and when we focus on what we don't have, we create depression. Everyday, all day long, create a habit of focusing on what you are grateful for! Are you grateful for your family? Friends? Home? A career/job? Eye sight? Taste buds? Legs? Arms? Food to eat? Time to rest? You get the picture, eh?
Fourth, think thoughts of faith in God, life, others, and yourself. Having faith is just a way of developing your self-confidence. When we have doubts (the opposite of faith) we develop our insecurities. Insecurities keep us from taking chances on ourselves and moving forward in life. Self-confidence gives us possibilities in our personal and professional growth. Our thoughts are moving us toward self-confidence or towards insecurities. You know this, I know this, we just need a daily reminder especially if we have a habitual thought pattern of doubt.
Fifth, feel emotions of love. HA HA HA HA!!! Silly? Maybe, maybe not. Our emotions are either positive or negative. The most positive emotion is love, and the most negative emotion is hate. We move towards one or the other. The reason I laugh is because some people think I am actually an idiot for speaking about love, like it is some disease or something. ARE YOU SERIOUSLY KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?!? Is what I think when they give me that reaction. Why are people so afraid to love? Mostly because our environment beats it out of us and then we put conditions on our love.
You must know that when we are brought into this world we are pure love, perfect love! Look at any infant and you will see and feel love. They want to learn and explore everything, and they do not care what other people say or do, they just lovem'. All of a sudden the people around them are saying don't do that, do this, or do this not that. "You make me...." fill in the blank; crazy, mad, annoyed, irritated, tired, late, or upset. What a super duper illusion we put on children. They don't make us anything, we allow ourselves to be in any one of those emotional states. So, we can just allow ourselves to be in the emotional state of love.
Let me tell you a little secret, if you master the art of love, perfect love, you will be confident, you will feel good all the time (well, more often than not), and you will live your life with ease and grace. If you are living your life with complications and difficulty, you are not living a life with ease and grace.
Sixth, and finally (for now anyway), read my blog ;0)
I like, NO! I love that one.
If anyone does these six things, I know without a doubt, in my heart and soul that person will have no need for instant gratification through stimuli! What they will have is certainty, confidence, and faith. How do I know? I've seen it happen thousands of times, if not hundreds of thousands of times. Just imagine if you had the habitual behaviors mentioned above, which create constant certainty, confidence, and faith. You would be magnificent! You would be invincible! You would be wisdom! You would be explosive! You would be HAPPIER!
Be brave my friend, step up the courage, and desire YOU FIRST!!!
Well, that is my rant on destressing yourself.
Have a super duper alli ooper weekend. Don't forget to throw a whole lotta fun and playfulness in there too, I mean it!!! Not kidding!!! ;0)
AHHH HA HA HA!!!