Friday, April 20, 2012


Hello there.  Happy Friday! Are you excited and ready for your weekend?  I sho am!  By the time you read this post, I will be on the beach, sitting in my beach chair, enjoying the Southern California sun.  Gotta get there before the weekend crowd. 

Before the weekend, I would like to propose a contemplation that will undoubtedly make you feel better.  Part of destressing yourself, and your life, is creating habits that make you feel better.  This particular habit is very pronounced within many people, and I wonder if you may have this habit.  It is at least worth contemplating.

The habit?  Unconditional love.

How is unconditional love a habit and how will it make you feel better?

A habit is a tendency or practice, and so if you tend to love unconditionally, then you have that habit.

As far as making you feel better well, stress is strain, and the opposite of strain is ease.  If you have thoughts, emotions, or habits of strain, then you become stressed.  If you have thoughts, feelings, and practices of ease, then you are destressed.  When we love unconditionally, we have ease and we feel better, just because loving makes us feel better.

Please allow me to elaborate just a lil bit...

Unconditional love means that we love people without conditions, like Jesus did.  When we do not love unconditionally, we place conditions on our love for one another. 

For example, a person may say, "Why should I help them, they never help me."  Or, a friend may say, about another friend, "I am not going to be friendly to them because he/she has been stand offish."  Or, a parent may give compliments only when their son/daughter gets good grades or looks good rather than complimenting them on a regular basis, which is received as conditional love versus unconditioned love.

Many people I talk to are holding themselves back by putting conditions on their love for family, friends, and others because the conditions they have holds back their love, and feeling good.  When we love, we feel better, that is all there is to it.  We move towards love or hate, which means we move towards feeling good or bad.

Jesus was the perfect example of unconditional love.  The questions he was asked, the comments that were made to him, then the betrayal, and of course he continued to love.  He is the perfect example!

"For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another."  ~Galatians 5:13

So, the contemplation is...  Do I love unconditionally?  Do I put conditions on my love for others?

When I was younger, I totally put conditions on my love for people.  But now, I just love.  If you say something to offend me, I don't even know it.  If you need my help, no matter how you have treated me in the past, I will help.  If you only come to me when you need something, I do not say, "You only come to me when you need something."  Rather, I say, "I would love to help/serve!"

The greatest thing of all is that if parents treated their child like their favorite instead of only treating them like their favorite when they do things for them, the child would have the greatest self-confidence and they would learn the habit of unconditional love.  How many parents punish when they think they should but never ever reward?  Rewards (emotional and mental support, kindness and love) should come all day, everyday just for being given the opportunity of being their parent.

If you want to have a great relationship with someone, anyone, especially children, spend quality time with them, have fun, and be playful.  That is the best way to show unconditional love.  I do not care how old you are or who you are, if I spend some quality time listening to you, have fun, and am playful, you will feel unconditional love from me and we both will feel great.

The people who do not show love need the unconditional love the most.  People do not show love because they have conditions on their love.  Don't put conditions on a relationship where you have to receive love first.

Why am I rambling about unconditional love?  Because, I see so many people carry the habit of conditioned love and it only hurts them, it only stresses them out.  So, contemplate increasing your practice of unconditional love, and just watch yourself destress.

Love you!  Have a great weekend!!!

Big Hugs...