Today, I would like to ramble about stress and nervous expectations. A nervous expectation is what you think you should do, or someone else should do because if you or they don't you will get stressed.
Let me give you an example, or a few...
When I think that someone should return my call, or text, and they don't, I think, "I am really getting angry when he/she doesn't return my text, they should return my call/text."
When I think that someone should be more considerate of my feelings when they talk to me, I think, "They are being rude, my feelings are hurt, and they should be more kind to me."
When I think that my Dad/Mom/Son (fill in the person) should treat me better, call me more, or think of my feelings, I think, "Sheesh, they are being so not nice, they should be nicer and it is really frustrating me."
When we think someone should be a certain way or do specific things and if they don't we experience negative emotions, which causes stress, that is a nervous expectation. We are expecting things and it gets on our nerves if we don't get it. LOL
You might be saying, "You know Elizabeth, they really should do this or that (fill in the behavior), because it is the right thing to do, or it is the kind thing to do, or it is the loving thing to do." And I say, when we have nervous expectations on what people should do, we cause ourselves stress because we worry about it, and worry is the culprit of stress.
What do you do when you have nervous expectations? That is a great question. The way to destress yourself when you have stress from nervous expectations is ask yourself if you are doing what you expect them to do.
For example, referring to the above...
Do I return their call or text? If so, is there ever a time that I do not return calls or texts? Yes! There are plenty of times I don't because I am super busy, or my phone is in my purse, or my room, or my phone battery is dead, and I don't even know it.
Am I being kind to that person who I expect to be kind to me? No, because I am not giving them the benefit of the doubt. I am not finding out if they are having a bad day or if they are mad at me. And...Am I ever rude or unkind? Yes! We all are, and many times we don't even know it.
Do I treat my relatives better, call them more, and think of their feelings? I try but, sometimes I might not, and might not even be aware of it.
Why am I going on about stress and nervous expectations? Because, every where I go these days there are, and everyone I talk to has, some sort of nervous expectation about family, and friends during the holidays.
What if we are more accepting of, what we think are, peoples' imperfections? What if we recognize that there is a whole lotta stress around the holidays? People are stressed, people are sensitive, and that includes you, and me.
What is the real purpose of our lives? Is it to worry about our expectations or is it to have faith, hope, and charity? What do we really want to do? Do we want to move towards love in all our thoughts, feelings, and actions, or do we want to base our expectations on our importance to ourselves, which really is a form of low self worth.
Hear me out now! If we depend on others to make us happy, then we base our worth on what we think people should say to us, or do to us. That is not our worth. Our worth is, we are daughters and sons of the most High and we must have charity for others, and ourselves. We must base our love for ourselves on our worth in the eyes of God, not in the eyes of what we think others should do.
It is not my intention to be unkind or hurt anyone's feelings, it is my intention to help people relieve their stress by seeing the logic in what I say. If you really believe in God, and the plan of salvation, then love like Christ does, and forgive as He does as well, but forgive immediately, not in a month or two. ~wink, wink~
I want to do the right thing! I want to be kinder! I want to be more loving! I can do, and be, all of these things by being more accepting of peoples' imperfections, by being more understanding, and by being more like Christ is.
Just the other day I told my friend, we are all hypocrites you know? Because we are all imperfect, we have done the very thing we accuse others of doing, and we do the very thing we get offended over. Don't we?
Hey! Have a great Christmas by moving towards love in everything you think, say, and do. If you do this, I promise that you will destress yourself.
Love you long time...
Elizabeth
