Monday, April 20, 2020


Well hello...

How are you doing during all of this stuff? 

I'm praying you are doing better than expected.

I'd like to explain a little more about basic stress management in order to help those who want to understand.

Generally, we think that stress is a situation. We have a fight in a relationship, our car breaks down, or we get laid off from work. To believe the situation is the stress is a common myth. 

Although, this is not to reduce the actual situation to nothing because we know that it can trigger stress but stress is not our circumstances.

So, if stress is not our circumstances what is stress?

A common equation that is used to describe stress is A+B=C. 

A is the activating event (situation), 

B is our belief, 

and C is our consequences (signs and symptoms). 

For example, if we are laid off from our job (Activating Event) and we believe that this is the worst thing that could ever happen to us (Belief) then our Consequences will be doubt, fear, and worry. Or, if we are laid off from our job (Activating Event) and we believe this is the best thing that could ever happen to us (Belief) then our Consequences will be certainty, confidence, and hope.

I know that might sound crazy to some that a person could be elated to be laid off but, it happens. Sometimes we need a push to get out of a career or industry we don't want to be in.

Therefore, stress is our reaction or our belief, which creates our consequences. Our consequences are our signs and symptoms mentally that are manifested physically. Some signs and symptoms of stress are difficulty concentrating, a racing mind, disorganization, sadness, irritability, anger, moodiness, headaches, neck aches, backaches, gastrointestinal problems, over or under eating, over or under sleeping, or increase in addiction of alcohol, smoking, or drugs.

Basic stress is in our everyday life because it begins with our thoughts. Stressful people get up in the morning worrying about all the things they have to do today and all the things that bothered them from yesterday. They go to work, to class, to being a parent, being the provider, and to doing their life. Their day is filled with stress because it is filled with habitual beliefs of doubt, fear, and worry.

Insecurity, i.e., stress versus confidence.

When a person destresses at the foundation of habitual thoughts, destressed feelings and actions will follow.

How does one destress, beginning with thoughts? He or she can recognize the fear of the future is in the mind and change it into certainty, confidence, and hope. Changing thoughts into certainty, confidence, and hope is not necessarily easy. 

Everyone has a choice. Sounds simple, but it may not be easy.

Thinking the worst thing could happen, is just a habit that we develop but, if we start practicing the thought that everything is going to be okay, because it always is, then we start to create a habit of faith.

Skip the panic, I always say. We do not have to panic, and many people don't. If I could get people who have anxiety to practice calmness, and meditation as often as they practice fearing the future, they would discover anxiety can be skipped. I truly believe that!

When we recognize our stressful habits and change them into faithful and fearless habits, we can watch ourselves become experts at stress management. In other words, permanent stress relief.

It's all about our focus. If you've had the habit of worry for a while, it will take a bit of practice to replace that stressful habit with faith.

The crux of human conditioning is that some people have been taught to not believe in themselves, and/or beat themselves up. These ways of being are what keeps a person in the state of giving up on themselves. 

Some of us are but infants in our spiritual development, and so we must learn to crawl, walk, run, ride the bike, and then drive the car of our life, so to speak. 

Could you imagine belittling and criticizing a child for learning to crawl, walk, run, ride, or drive? Maybe that was your experience, and maybe that's why you are a beater upper of the self.

When I was young, and I was learning things, my brothers always encouraged me, and then I had friends that encouraged me. Ultimately, I am the one who encourages myself now, and I refuse to beat myself up or criticize myself, ever! It's a practice I am extremely proud of.

All of this ramble is about changing stressful habits of fear into happy, healthy habits of faith by encouraging yourself. That truly is basic stress management. Managing your habitual reactions, manages your stress.


I just wanted to give a little pointing to healing if you are in need of it, and I pray it helps your way.

Speak soon my friend...


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