Wednesday, March 13, 2019

Questioning Insecurity, i.e., Stress

Hoodie Hoo Boogah Booh!


How are you doing today?

You know I pray that you are alright every day!?!

Today I'd like to talk about confidence and insecurity because one brings happiness and the other brings stress.

I am compelled to tell this story...

About seven years ago, I worked at this facility, and one of the security personnel was articulating dissatisfaction concerning his own life. When he was done explaining, I asked him, "Why don't you..." He cut me off and responded rudely, "I know what I am incapable of!" He didn't even let me get a word in.

Furiously, he told me, in so many words, that he did not believe he was good enough or intelligent enough to do anything for himself. I am sharing this story, but not the specifics because the most insecure people would rather argue their limitations and be right about themselves than think a thought in their favor and/or be wrong.

You may agree with the security officer and think, "I'm pretty sure I know my limitations."

I know! That was me too!!! The more insecure and self-conscious I defend my weaknesses, the younger me.

Precarious people believe that their worth is based on being right. It's an illusion and provides a very stressful life. Could you imagine having to be right even if it means sacrificing your happiness, health, love life, or wealth? 

Being insecure is the ultimate type of stressful personality because it's a practiced fear. 

Some people have doubts about careers, health, money, relationships, or wealth. It's totally normal. 

But not every person has insecurity about all or most of those mentioned above. Individuals with severe uncertainty have practiced stress and hold on to being right more than anything.

In other words, their mind is shut to learning, listening, and seeing the evidence. Their mouth is open to their perceived brilliance of what they know about particular things.

Don't believe me? Do you think you have to be right about politics or religion? Do you know someone who has to be right about either subject by pointing out other people's wrongness?

In my younger years, I believed that being right was one of the most important things to me, and that belief supplied me with a very closed mind. As I became more educated, I realized how important it is to open up to understand. Now, I can see the old me in others as they are incapable of communicating because their mind is so shut.

A closed mind is ignorance, and an open mind leads to enlightenment. An open mind learns by listening to understand.

I was angry, anxious, depressed, and full of despair in my younger years. And I spent a lot of time there because I was unwilling to learn from others by listening. My views of myself were narrow, and although, at an intellectual level, I understood that I was responsible for my happiness, I wasn't listening to anyone for solutions. This unstable state made me a coward.

I'm not calling anyone a coward! I said it made me a coward, and it was all because I wouldn't believe in myself enough to even think a thought in my favor. I had to be right more than I had to be happy, healthy, loving, or wealthy. All of which creates confidence and joy.

Here I go again with the practice makes permanent...

In my younger years, I was practicing a closed mind, fearing being wrong because my worth was based on being right, and that practice created only dissatisfaction in life.

Now, in my wiser years ~wink~ I practice learning by listening to understand. I practice understanding that I can look for the truth in anything. No need to agree or disagree, and no need to say a word.

What I am trying to elude to is open your mind to listening IF you are experiencing unhappiness from negative emotions like anger, anxiety, depression, or despair.

If you want happiness, joy, and vitality in your life, please open your mind to suggestions on how to get there, especially from anyone who is hugely successful at being there.

You wouldn't take financial advice from anyone who never has any money or may not even have money at their disposal.

You wouldn't take weight loss advice from someone who is obese and/or has been obese their entire life.

You wouldn't take any relationship advice from anyone who's been divorced several times, twice, or even once.

Part of creating a destressed life is developing confidence, enlightenment, and wisdom by looking at those who are successful at what you want to be successful at. Listen to them, watch them, and discern what you want to do, then do THAT!

I practice calming myself and connecting to God because that is what I want out of life. So, I learn by listening to and watching people who are calm and connected to God.

The old insecure me would only speak complaints and criticism because that was my focus. But now, my focus is on practicing calmness and connecting to God. I am so imperfect at it, so I keep on practicing, never beating myself up, and always trying to have an open mind.

Do you? Could you? Would you believe in yourself enough to question your open-mindedness towards yourself? An open mind leads to confidence, and a closed mind leads to insecurity, which leads to stress.

Just something to think about so that you may relieve your stress of unwanted feelings of fear.

That is all...



God bless...

Take care...

Elizabeth Stanfill 

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