Monday, December 3, 2012


Hello my friend, and Happy Monday.

Holidays are here, and people who have lost loved ones become very sad and lonely.  Most recently, I have had two very dear friends lose close family members, and it is painful.

stress, loss of a loved one, grief, destress loneliness
What can you say to someone who has lost a loved one to make them feel better?  Not a whole lot.  Grief is powerful.  

What can you do for someone who has lost a loved one?  The only thing I can think of is pray for them, take care of them, and be there when everyone else is gone.

In my many years of helping people, the two things that I have found most helpful for people who have lost loved ones are writing a book of remembrance, and having conversations with the one who is no longer in our midst.

A book of remembrance is helpful in two ways, it helps you write down the good memories you have, which makes you feel good, and you have a keepsake for the future to read and add more memories to.  

To start a book of remembrance first obtain a book/photo album, start with pictures you have, attach the pictures to the pages of the book, and write the memory.  When you run out of pics, or don't have any pics, just write memories.  Try to write everyday, and as long as you can.  

Sometimes this practice makes people more sad than when they started out, but the majority of the time, because the memories are so tender and loving, it helps heal the wounds.  People who have done this are very grateful they did, especially as the years pass because they have memories they can read that they may have lost with time.

The other remedy to assist with grief, having conversations with the departed, is very powerful as well.  It is my humble opinion that the vale is thin with those who have passed on.  It is my humble opinion that they are not far, and they can hear you, but you may not be able to hear them.

What do you think about that?  Crazy?  Maybe...

When my Grandma passed back in 2007, I was in so much pain, I tear up now as I write about it.  She was my last living Grandparent, I truly love her a lot, and I was sad.  When I was about 15, I lost my Grandpa, who was without a doubt, my favorite person in the world.  I cried and couldn't talk for two weeks.  Well, the night before my Grandma's funeral, I was sleeping in her house, and she and my Grandpa came to me in a dream.  In this dream, they were both happy, healthy, and much younger.  It was so real that I knew that this comfort given to me was a blessing from God, and the vale was definitely thin.

So, my friend, if you are lonely, or in pain for your loss, consider destressing your grief by trying these two things, the book of memories, and talking to your loved one.  Try it, or not, and if you would consider it, please let me know how it goes.

Have a great week.  I sho do love you...

Elizabeth Stanfill 

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